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Original poster

Home visit

77 replies

fluffydressinggown · 09/03/2012 15:20

I am feeling very very low and I have spoke to my therapist today about it, he has referred me to a home visit team. What does this involve? I am a bit scared. They will ring me within 24 hours to make an appointment.

OP posts:
MrsPotter · 09/03/2012 15:22

I don't have an answer to your question unfortunetly but I am posting to offer a hand hold if you need it and a bump up the active thread list.

Hope you feel better very soon fluffy.

Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 09/03/2012 15:30

Thank you :)

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Upwardandonward · 09/03/2012 15:46

I hope you feel better soon too.

this may help to explain.

I've only had them over the phone, because people seem to prefer me in hospital when I'm unwell.

The home treatment team are often the gatekeepers to hospital care, but that's not all they do.

Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 09/03/2012 16:30

I don't want to go to hospital :( I am really scared about what will happen. I am considering cutting myself and the cut I do could seriously hurt me but I don't know. I am really good at putting on a front and I don't know if I can be honest. I am just scared.

OP posts:
Upwardandonward · 09/03/2012 16:46

Be as honest as you can - they do try to keep people at home if they can, my home situation is complicated which contributes to hospital...

Saying you're thinking about doing that wont necessarily land you in hospital.

Upwardandonward · 09/03/2012 16:46

And you can tell them you want to stay at home.

Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 09/03/2012 16:58

I have a 'good' home situation I suppose, my husband is nice and I have no dependents and the house is clean etc.

I can't tell my husband how desperate I feel, if they visit me can I ask them to see me alone.

OP posts:
summer111 · 09/03/2012 17:01

Please don't worry, there is nothing to be scared about, help is at hand. If the team do visit, it's just to check how you are feeling and assess what type of support you need. I work on a team like the one you speak of. Most people who we assess aren't admitted into hospital, only if someone is a danger to themselves or others and cannot be treated at home is admission considered. A small proportion of people are treated at home with daily visits, others are offered brief intervention from a community team depending on their need and for others we make recommendations to their GP regarding medication, counselling etc. As the last poster said, just be honest with how you are feeling so that you can get the right support to get you back on the road to recovery, in the quickest possible time.
I hope you are feeling better soon.

summer111 · 09/03/2012 17:02

Yes, they will in fact ask you if you want to be seen alone or with your husband.

summer111 · 09/03/2012 17:04

Fluffy, have you tried holding ice cubes instead of cutting, when the urge arises to harm yourself? It helps for some.

Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 09/03/2012 17:11

No, I cut for damage and blood, the damage is the issue tbh, I want to cut in a way that could kill me but then I don't feel sad that it would. It hurts so much though I don't know if I could be brave enough to do it.

I don't like the pain really, it is a distraction from what I really want to do.

Many thanks for your replies.

OP posts:
Keziahhopes · 09/03/2012 18:31

Hi - hope home team helps. Yes, they can be a gateway to hospital, but I found they do everything they can to keep you at home. For me it was a daily check for a few days, until I improved - either phonecall or a visit for an hour, perhaps with some practical coping tips that I couldn't see myself. Hope helpful for you.

Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 09/03/2012 20:26

They rang me and they are visiting tomorrow.

My husband keeps going on at me about everything and I don't know what to tell him :( He doesn't understand, he is a good and kind person but he does not understand mental health at all. He thinks I should just pull myself together (although he is wise enough not to tell me that)!

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summer111 · 09/03/2012 21:02

Fluffy, I'm glad they are coming to see you tomorrow. Do you think it would help for one of the team to possibly talk to your husband to explain your difficulties? Perhaps he would understand/ accept it better if it came from them?
It is very difficult for anyone who hasn't been in your shoes to understand the depths of pain you feel and even more difficult for you to explain, when you are in the midst of it.
You mentioned your therapist in your original post. I'm just wondering what their qualifications are. The reason I ask, if you are seeing a counsellor, they may not have the qualifications/ experience to help you deal with your problems unlike for example a clinical psychologist/psychotherapist.

Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 09/03/2012 21:17

I am seeing a psychotherapist from the IAPT team.

My husband just doesn't get it, I have tried to explain to him but he just dismisses it and says "well don't cut" and I think he takes it personally that he can't fix me.

I think because I have a house, husband, career, he can't understand why I am so very very sad.

OP posts:
summer111 · 09/03/2012 21:53

Fluffy, I'm sure your husband feels a large element of frustration that he can't make things better for you. I would imagine that it's very hard for you to explain why you want to cut when you probably don't fully comprehend this yourself. Could you make him a list of things you would like him to do, say or not say, that might enable him to feel he is helping but will also take some pressure off you?
I hope your meeting goes well tomorrow, thinking of you x

Upwardandonward · 10/03/2012 10:59

I hope all goes well for you today, thinking of you.

Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 10/03/2012 11:46

Thank you, they rang this morning and then said they will ring back to organise a time.

I am so scared and worried about what will happen, I am having some scary thoughts but then I am worried that I am just faking it all. It is scary.

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Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 10/03/2012 14:03

No phone call back yet :( I am worried they have forgotten me or they have realised that I am just making it all up or that they will cancel. I feel so nervous waiting and waiting.

OP posts:
Loopymumsy · 10/03/2012 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Upwardandonward · 10/03/2012 16:08

They wont think you're making it up, I agree with loopymumsy that they can need chasing.

Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 10/03/2012 16:46

She came for two hours and was very nice. I am going to have daily visits to keep me safe :( I don't want anything.

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Upwardandonward · 10/03/2012 17:19

I'm glad it went ok :) I think daily visits are ok...at least it gives you the chance to talk a bit more about now and what's going on for you, which is important at the moment.

Well done for going through with it.

Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 10/03/2012 17:36

I don't think I want to talk. I feel like such a failure. She just kept saying that I was unwell, I don't want to be unwell.

I am sorry I have been so negative on this thread.

OP posts:
Upwardandonward · 10/03/2012 17:40

Feeling a failure is the unwellness talking though...nobody thinks you want to be unwell, and this should help you become well.

You don't need to apologise either :)