Home visit

[fluffydressinggown]

I am feeling very very low and I have spoke to my therapist today about it, he has referred me to a home visit team. What does this involve? I am a bit scared. They will ring me within 24 hours to make an appointment.

Thats not my plan but I mean if I cut deep enough then I won't have to kill myself with my plan.

Thinking of you today fluffy, hope the visit goes ok and i hope you are ok with dh not being there (i hope you manage not to hurt yourself), i'm about here all day as i have got both dd's home (one poorly and one thinks she's poorly).

They are coming this afternoon. I rang them last night and I was quite upset but they are very nice. I find nights the hardest.

I have had 6 hours sleep, had a shower and a cigarette and I am watching This Morning.

I'm glad they helped last night, a lot of people find nights hard. Good luck for this afternoon, sounds like you're working at keeping occupied.

How are you doing now? You will get through it.
Are they going to review your medication?

Glad they are helping fluffy, hope your afternoon visit goes ok xx

Thank you for your thoughts. I cut myself this afternoon, they are visiting in the next few minutes. I have told them that I cut myself. It is never ever enough.

I have also watched lots of crappy films and have a very tidy house. I am sure they see lots of different houses and ways people live and I know they are not here to judge me but I worry that they will!

Hope you are ok and they are able to give you some assistance.
Try & keep busy till they arrive.

My husband has a thing about the house being tidy, he thinks it says alot about a person (if there house is tidy), me, i'm untidy and i'm not bothered what others think .

Hope all goes ok when they get there xxxx

They were nice, it is helpful having this level of support. I had to show them my cut and they said it needs suturing but she said she thinks they will admit me to plastics but I don't think they will. Hopefully not.

I am so thankful for all of your kind thoughts, I am a name changer and so a newbie and I am overwelhmed with how good you have been to a stranger.

Glad it went well fluffy, hope you manage to get your cut sorted and make sure you keep it nice and clean. I used bio oil on my scars and luckily i only have one scar left on my arm (from a very deep cut) but i don't mind, it kind of reminds me how far i have come.

I do hope things start to improve for you from now on and i hope your husband is supporting you. Thinks will get better (i know i keep saying it but i promise it will).

Fluffy, I was thinking of you today but was unable to log on at work to find out how you were getting on. I'm glad you are beginning to feel supported by your team and even though you cut, you have trusted the staff to let them know. Marne is an inspiration and I have to agree with her that things can and will get better for you. Have you any plans of ways to keep yourself busy tomorrow? Sometimes having practical tasks to do can be a good distraction from your thoughts.

Been to A&E and all stitched up. I was seen really quickly by the nurse practitioner, the dr had to come to give me internal stitches but I could sit in the treatment room alone while I waited and the nurse practitioner did a great job on the external stitches.

I am meeting a friend for coffee tomorrow and will hopefully have a visit tomorrow afternoon.

I have a lot of scars unfortunately, bio-oil has been helpful.

Fluffy, sounds like you have a good plan for tomorrow, I hope you have a nice time with your friend. Perhaps you can come up with a few things to keep yourself busy for the rest of the week too.

Hi Fluffy didn't get a chance to check back on you yesterday.
Glad you went and got your arm stitched up and that they were good to you.
How you doing this morning? What time u meeting friend at.
How did your husband react to you cutting yourself, hope he is being more supportive.
Thinking of you today. X

I went out with my friend which was very nice, now just chilling at home. No visit today, feeling frustrated people keep telling me different things, they said last night they would visit and now they are not. And they said they would review my medication ASAP and they haven't, feels very muddled.

She asked this morning when my normal therapist was back off holiday and he is back in 2 weeks but I was told on Saturday that his service is not appropriate for me and I need another service but now it feels like they are just going to fob me off back to the IAPT team again which do not manage risk. I just feel like they don't want to see me or deal with me because I am not bad enough but how bad does it have to get? I want to die and kill myself, I am angry that I did not cut enough to kill myself yesterday.

This is super ranty sorry!

Fluffy, if you feel so bad that you want to kill yourself then they are really not doing enough for you.
I know this suggestion will sound shit but you know yourself that what you are feeling is not right. Would you consider a voluntary admission to the nearest unit?
You really really need to get your medication reviewed as obviously it is not working for you.
Where is your husband you need his help & support.

I have told them how I feel, I think they think I am being dramatic. I don't know.

I have been for a long walk and bought some chocolate so going to veg out and watch some (more) TV now and hope they ring me this afternoon for a chat.

They rang just now and I am so sad. The lady on the phone said 'you had a nice day today with your friend.' Well I did but I feel really unsafe and desperate. I went to the place where I am going to kill myself this afternoon and I want to talk about that but she just said she was going out in 10 minutes and I asked if I could ring later and she just blanked me. And then she said did I get the sleep stuff we had talked about and I said I had not had a visit and then she said they are doing it day to day now and they will ring me in the morning. Which basically means fuck off and we won't see you again. Ahhh.

I just feel like they don't want to see me or help me because I am wasting their time and I am so scared about what I am going to do.

Fluffy how you doing today, is anyone coming out to see you?

They have visited and things seem more sorted. I have a key worker who will see/contact me every other day for the next week or so. I was honest and she seems nice so I feel better that people are listening to me now. I am still worried about everything and my self harm/suicide ideas are there but at least they have organised something.

They rang through a prescription to my GP, I have made a separate post but if anyone who read this has any insights!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/1428438-Trazodone-Molipaxin

I went to the place where I will kill myself today and it felt weird. I don't know why I feel drawn to go there.

My husband has been quite supportive recently as well.