So up and down ATM

[dottyspotty2]

Was doing ok now I just feel like I'm sinking again I know its going to take a while but feel like I did at the beginning now.Really twitchy again, struggling with sitting for to long, started having horrific nightmares and there nothing to do with the abuse really don't understand it. Getting shaky again as well. Really thought this stage had passed now.

You know what I'm going to say don't you xx

Really doubting myself now though, don't think I can do it its to hard atm let alone further on.

You can do it - take it one day at a time and let go of expectation of how you 'should' be feeling and doing. This is a barebone survival time - do what helps. Don't worry about later on. By the time later on happens you may be a bit stronger - and there will be people to help you through xx

I think a lot of this is the thought of having to do it all again, at the beginning was told that they can sometimes use the interview as evidence but I wasn't able to ask the right questions. I now have so much to process yet again I'm someone who analizes everything and has to be in full CONTROL. I've never had nightmares as bad in my life and believe me I've had quite a few. Sounds contradictary but I also feel like I need a good cry but I'm not able to now. Meant to be going away for a few days break next Sunday but don't know now been told I need it by everyone involved.