I've posted in the pnd page but it doesn't get a lot of traffic over there thought I'd re-post here toofor some support..
Its taken me ages to get the guts to post this, I don't own up easily - scared of being judged I think.
I've spent most if yesterday in tears on and off. I have a history of depression so pnd is a real 'risk' cos if this. I had a wobble a few weeks back but a teary phonecall with my sister dismissed it as 'normal' new mummy feelings.
When I had my 6w check I mentioned these wobbles to my gp as I said I would to my bf, he dismissed it cos at the appointment I clearly had bonded with my son.
Now it just feels crap tho - I feel like I don't love him enough, that he's got a better bond with my bf, that I don't trust my knowledge (by profession I'm a nanny) - I have so much pressure on myself to know everything about looking after him and I don't know what I'm doing. I looked at him tonight and actually questioned whether I love him - wtf!!!
Nothing specific has happened to cause this downturn.
I just called my dr to do an automated appointment but they're full.
I'm getting up and dressed (when little man let's me) everyday and out everyday, been if it's just to get milk! I've been to a few baby groups, forced myself to stop crying in the car park and go yesterday - not been eating brilliantly and it's taking me a while to get to sleep (things I suffer from last time)
Dunno what I expect putting this on here, maybe explore other new mummies and their feelings/thoughts.
Not sure what the dr would say - I think i'd see going back on medication as a real backward step - I've been off of it for years...
I don't know what I want, to feel "normal" I guess