For those of you who PM'd after the last thread went tits up - thank you and apologies for taking so long to reply. This is the first time i have been back on MN since then.
I am still around, after a suicide attempt before xmas i finally admitted how bad things were and am now back on the ADs i was reluctant to start and will be going to all follow up appointments. On NYE i went to my 'happy place' with a close friend and disposed of 53 tablets of various kinds that i had kept 'just in case'. I still feel the same but i HAVE to carry on for my DCs.