Usually love this time of year have always made it special for the kids I know their nearly grown now but still. This year has been awful lost 5 members of our families not all old. Also going through hell with everything else, next week have Gp on Monday for myself, sons new psychiatrist is coming to see us on Thursday and I have therapy on Friday to try deal with the abuse I went through as a child usually takes me 2-3 days to recover from these sessions depending how heavy they are. Have DD1 and her BF coming on christmas day he obviously has noticed I'm not myself but doesn't know why. What the hell do I do.