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Mental health

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Original poster

New baby stress

14 replies

Pennies · 08/01/2006 19:50

DD2 is nearly 4 weeks old and I'm just finding it so bloody hard. Since she's been born I've had septicemia, mastitis and thrush. She's a rubbish feeder and my nips have been chewed to shreds, despite several midwives and BF counsellors checking the latch and confirming we're doing it right.

Xmas was hideous and NY was dull.

I dread feeds and I really worry that I'm not bonding with her as a result of all this stress.

OP posts:

wilbur · 08/01/2006 19:54

Poor you, pennies, I know how you are feeling. I got terrible cracked nipples with ds1 and dd, dreaded feeds. In the end I used a nipple shield on the worst one (I know the hv hate them, but it was only for a day or two) and gave it a break to heal. How come you got septicaemia? That's pretty serious, are you on strong antibiotics? They could be making you feel crap too. Don't worry about the bonding too - I thought that with ds1 and it did take me a few months to get the hang of him but then it was fine.

mummytosteven · 08/01/2006 19:56

You poor love, you've had a rotten time. Have you tried the NCT breastfeeding counsellor line? I think that part of the problem is you having several people come and check, and that you somehow need to find one person to give you some consistent advice. Alternatively what about trying nipple shields? Or do you feel that you've had enough of bfing full stop?

Don't worry about the bonding for now; there's so much time for you to impressed by your baby - it doesn't need to be love at first sight.

mummytosteven · 08/01/2006 19:57

apparently it is quite common to feel low after a serious illness such as septicaemia, so that may also be having an impact.

Marne · 08/01/2006 19:59

Poor you pennies, sending you hugs! If breast feeding is getting you down that much and your finding it painful ,why not think about stopping? At least baby has had 4 weeks worth of goodness from breast milk which is better than nothing (some people may not agree with me!).

Original poster

Pennies · 08/01/2006 20:01

HI Wilbur, I think it was using a shield that caused the mastitis because it stopped her from draining the boob and so it got all blocked up. Took 5 days to clear the blockage with some pretty hefty expressing. Got the sepitcemia after giving birth - internal infection from the placenta wound. Was in hospital for 3 days and had big time anti-b's (finished the coursee last week) which also culled the mastitis and made me feel much better but has resulted in giving me thrush which I can't seem to shift (had it for a week now and have been using some cream the doc prescribed).

I feel so sorry for her. She cries a lot.

OP posts:

Aloha · 08/01/2006 20:03

suspect you need the tablets - diflucan - instead of cream. if you search breastfeeding diflucan you will find good info.

Original poster

Pennies · 08/01/2006 20:04

I have had the latch checked by BF counsellors and spoken to them on the phone and we're doing everything right apparently.

I'm so determined to BF her as I successfully did it for DD1 for 10 months. I loved the closeness and I was so proud that I could do it and give her what I consdiered was the best. I so want to be able to do that again.

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tribpot · 08/01/2006 20:07

Pennies you've really been in the wars haven't you? You poor thing. At a minimum you deserve a nice treat of some kind, can you take a couple of hours to yourself?

All I will say is that I found the first 4 weeks with ds bloody hard too and I didn't have half of your problems, I failed at breastfeeding very early on. The Baby Whisperer suggests giving bf 6 weeks if you can, and that seems to be backed up by the more traditional 'lying in' that they have in other cultures. If you possibly can, I would try and hang in there for a couple more weeks and see how it goes but ultimately you have to do what's right for you and dd2.

Lonelymum · 08/01/2006 20:10

I remember being where you are with my dd (third breast fed child). I developed excruciating pain when feeding her and used to cry the minute she started crying for food in sheer anticipation of the pain I was going to undergo. I only kept it up because I had breast fed my two boys and wanted to give her the same start.

I moved in the middle of this pain but just before moving was given treatment for thrush on the off chance that that was causing the pain. My new GP didn't follow this up as the pain went away quickly after that (so I suppose it was thrush). I also had cracked nipples.

It is horrible isn't it? All I can say is, the problem did go away when she was around five weeks old and I went on to feed her for 12 months.

I hope things get better for you soon. Just remember breast feeding takes 6 (or 8?) weeks to fully establish itself, so try not to give up yet.

wilbur · 08/01/2006 20:13

Ah, that's unlucky about the mastitis - I had it with ds1 too, and it really wiped me out. Alternating normal and the rugby ball position for feeding helped keep milk flowing for me after it had cleared up. It's such a bugger that these wonder antibiotics can trigger thrush. Can you bear to cut out sugar/yeast for a couple of days to see if you can get rid of it that way? If your dd2 is crying a lot, it might not be hunger alone, have you thought about a cranial osteopath or to see if something like that helps calm her?

Original poster

Pennies · 08/01/2006 20:40

wilbur, yes I'm interested in CO though a tad sceptical I have to admit. But I posted a q. about it earlier which produced some encouraging anecdotes and am going to try both conventional advice via GP and HV this week as well and a CO. It can't hurt can it.

OP posts:

georginars · 08/01/2006 20:45

oh Pennies, no real advice but I have posted on your CO thread and think give that a go, but try not to be too upset if it doesn't work.
At 4 weeks DD was still just hideous with colic and breastfeeding, by about 6 weeks she was still hideous with colic but the feeding was sorted out. Was it all much easier with DD1, do you think you are comparing the experience and therfore being too hard on yourself?
anyhow, not being very helpful here, just wanted to express sympathy with you. Go easy on yourself, mastitis etc. will make you feel ill on top of all the new baby knackerdom

Original poster

Pennies · 08/01/2006 20:52

Oh I'm constantly comapring th two experiences even though I know how counterproductive it all is.

I need to really take hold of this situation - I'm eating and eating junk all the time (am an eat when stressed kinda gal) which of course makes me feel gross so I look and feel like a fat heffer. Add to this the fact that Im either feeding DD2 or expressing from the sore boob 24/7 the cow analogy becomes even more appropriate.

Tomorrow I will take myself back to the GP to see if they can really help me tackle this thrush thing. Luckily DD1 is backa t nursery for 3 days this week so I can at least use that time to try and suss this situation out with DD2 and start to have some time alone with her.

OP posts:

tribpot · 08/01/2006 21:58

Pennies my dear, you had a baby four weeks ago (actually a bit less). Feeling like a fat heifer is part of the territory even if you were on Jennifer Aniston's macrobiotic diet! (Which do not). Not surprised you are comfort eating, just try and mix some fresh stuff in there, even if it's just some salad bar bits from Sainsburys, or equivalent. Who has time to cook healthy food with a newborn? No-one. But you will prob feel better about yourself if you're getting some fresh juice or fresh veg inside you.

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