Prolonged baby blues?When does it get better?

[milibear]

Hi MNers,

I would love to get some opinions on what's going on and your past experiences.
Had DD 3 weeks and 1 day ago. First time mum, and very much the control type who gets anxious when things don't go to plan ! I get super anxious at the first sign of a wimper and have unfortunately resorted to using a dummy (initially dead set against it before birth) but only after feeding, changing, cuddling her and she still is unsettled.

Been feeling very weepy since day 3, but some days are better than others where I don't shed a single tear. Also feeling guilty as I have wanted DD for a while and have a supportive and loving OH.

Spoke to psych friend who doesn't think it is PND, but wondering when will these feelings of :intermittent sadness/inability to cope/guilt etc end?

Don't worry, it'll get better as you get used to your new role - and your little girl. You're still in the very hard stage. In a few months your little one will be in more of a routine and much more predictable. Congratulations by the way!

I am also a controller-type personality (I like the world to be predictable), for which a new baby is the ultimate challenge, like a nuclear bomb going off in your life! Try to relax and go with the flow a bit more. Dummies are not your enemy, but in fact your friend. If you still feel bad a few weeks down the line ask your GP for citalopram, which is really good for anxiety.

Thanks for the advice.
Today is a good day. I'm just going to have to take it one moment at a time.

Hi Milibear - I am not a new mum but a very old one with grown kids and grand children. However I always remember my mum saying "these babies - they weigh 7lb and turn your life upside down" when I was pregnant and it really irritated me, but OMG did I realise how right she was! I reckon that most new mothers don't feel anything like themselves for the first 3 months. Caring for a newborn is the most overwhelming thing anyone can do. Never before have your cared so much for another being, and here you are with a little helpless 3 week old and you will be shattered. I think perfectionists maybe suffer more, as you have to settle for imperfection for a while. Wait till she gives you that first smile around 6/7 weeks and you'll feel tremendous.

Take care and congratulations on the birth of your baby daughter (i always wanted a daughter but no luck!) and as others say if things get really bad you may have to consider the possibility of PND, but you just sound like a normal new mum to me, going through a huge period of adjustment.