The Cybergarden - Late Summer Edition

[madmouse]

Sorry been unfaithful, lots going on. But making myself useful - here's your new thread x

Did your mist burn off in the end, shodatin? Thank you so much again for sorting out the blue thistles ? I do hope I manage to nurture them, and report back proud pricklies in a few months' time.

How has everyone else coped today? Wiped out by the heat, or enjoying the sun?

hob, I hope you've been resting and recovering from yesterday. And Upward, hope your electrical readjustment is easing.

No sunshine got through the mist today, tianc, and it seems tomorrow might bring actual rain to these parts, so the painting season is probably over. Hope you manage to finish yours this year, without exhausting self.

Also hope hob and upward have been able to rest, and that we all have a good night, fortified by tianc's cordial, Cheers.

And yet another sunny morning! But unpleasantly humid, and there was obviously some rain earlier. Am looking less glamourous than ever with hair scraped back and up (dead straight so it slides down and through any items to make it look better), with DB telling me I look like a geek, which I gather is not flattering.
Hope everyone's managed a rest over the weekend, and not suffering too much with the weather. Have some new, fizzy applejuice on trial , not bad.

I hope everyone's survived the heat.

< tucks extra rugs round dozing cyberstargazers >
Thank you for fizzy apple juice , shodatin , a favourite treat here ( ympathies on cheeky DB's comments ). Hope you had some sunshine after the mist , as we had here ... bit of rain & lots of mist now . Hope you enjoyed DB's visit if you did have him over today - you'll be ready for your bed .

Thank you upward for thinking of us , who are all sending you very best wishes for improved comfort . So hard on you to have had hot weather to increase your woozyness . Hope you're ble to listen to some beautiful music or watch a comforting film or two .

Really , really sorry to have been away so long , which feels very strange ,but very tired & still had unmissable errands to run yesterday ... plan to nap for weeks now !

Good luck Tianc with achieving proud pricklies with shodatin's kind seedlings. How frustrating that your painting proved impossible in the heat - don't think that will be a problem from now on .

Friends' wedding was joyous , & old-fashioned in a v good way - many guests from extended family , with workmates & old friends , but not at all extravagant . It was very lighthearted , arty , yet deeply unpretentious .
The Catholic church has a new marriage service stressing equality , as well they might ... Wish I could describe the clothes & the novel going away bike & sidecar , but too identifying . Oh yes , loathsome person was a guest but didn't even see my pretty new shoes , just my nervous blotchy face but lots more important things to think about .

MIL seeming better again , though not letting ss talk to her as worried about cost of home help ... but she won't know cost if won't allow an assessment

dh has done brillianly to get through long day of being on show at work < Skype dancing people emoticons >
Peaceful night to us all - so lovely to be back in cybergarden
< looks out heater for orangery - thank you for reminding us we have it to look forwasrd to , Tianc >

Oh so glad the wedding was wonderful, hob! New shoes an' all, eh? Ver' nice! Hope you can now curl up and rest for days, dreaming of fabulous celebration.

And very well done on braving and surviving loathsome person. (I confess I've "parked" dealing with mine while enjoying the hard work painting, but must pick up and finish the job soon. Hrrmph.)

Upward, sorry if the heat has been affecting you. As hob says, it can't be helping your concentration, so I hope you've not been too hard on yourself if you're not fully back to your usual sharpness yet, or get tired very fast.

shodatin, "geek" is a compliment round here ? DP is definitely one! Does this mean you had another visit from DB, or just Skype?

And apparently snow and lashing rain are due in the north very shortly! Hope you don't have quite such a drastic change where you are ? that'll larn us to complain about the heat!

Thanks for posting, upward and hob, even though I guessed you would probably both be tired. The wedding sounds lovely, despite presence of your least-favourite person, and I hope your new shoes were comfortable enough.

DB not due until Thursday - he saw hair-do on Skype - and meanwhile Thai friend remembered how to use hair gadget so I could look reasonable and be comfortable in the heat, but unfortunately played about with it until it snapped
so will have to check shops for another... or cut it all off before then.

Would it be possible for one of the family to talk to ss about MiL's needs?
They are quite used to the oldies insisting they'll be OK as their younger family members will help, and know this can mean problems.

Agree the apple drink was good, will have last as nightcap (which will magically increase in volume to hand round) Goodnight.

< puts treaty food in Tianc's boy's packed lunch as reward > < teleportation unit judders promisingly >

Hope you're gradually finding you feel a little better , upward - is it still warm enough for a virtual sundae of of berries with , say ,dairy free icecream & proper sprinkles on top ? < lays out several on summerhouse table >

Poor you with broken hair gadget , shodatin , & hope you can find a replacement soon . I see electrical equipment in some charity shops , though many chains won't accept them as lack an electrician for the safety checks . On the bright side , am amazed to hear of equipment to improve appearance of hair < saves pennies for miracle >

Feel ostentatious now about mentioning my new shoes , but they were from a charity shop ( much cleaned ) & sooo frivolous , yet low heeled , that I had to share my joy .

Thank you for update on nasty person , Tianc - we've all been sending positive thoughts your way but I was wondering whether to ask outright . Hope "parking" the issue brings unexpected positive changes .

Thank you so much shodatin for thoughtful & well -informed suggestions , but I've been working on this issue for several years so far ! ILS went to advice centre for retired people for their referral for DLA , & centre can make ss referrals ... I 've rung ss several times as circs have changed in recent years... I think I'll see if CAB could tell them how much they'd be charged in their financial circumstances .
I'm obviously over - involved , & must have a case of transference - or is it projection - with dh's family's disturbing attitudes to "independence" Fortunately dh has a sense of humour, as do ILs < not me , no sirree >

Hope we all have a good afternoon < settles in cybergarden , vizualizing glittery confetti >
< is chased off Mn for bad taste>

Love the sound of your frivolous new shoes hob, and charity shop seems ideal place to flash cash for something like that - I gather they're not the kind of shoes seen on weighty Quakers then?
Apologies for giving simple advice you know more about than I do (re elderly relatives), it's a bad habit so will try not to intrude.

Hair item was not electrical, in fact, they're so cheap and plasticky I doubt any would get as far as a charity shop. Brand name (found on internet) is Tippy-Tail, or something very similar,
and they turn scruffy pony-tail into sleek, solid arrangement without even a hairclip, which is probably why they're coming back into fashion (but not here yet, have checked all local shops already).
Hope you have a peaceful afternoon without chores, in fact, am sending same wishes for everyone else.

hob you must be sooo much help to DH's family. I love it when we harness our own obsessions interests to be useful to others!

Oh, and obviously no sense of humour at all. None. Not even a little bit.

Thank you so much for your positive thoughts. Very much appreciated, and the wisdom of MN is definitely helping. I'm not done yet, but getting a lot out of slowly drafting this email and dealing with the difficult person in a new way. Either that, or I'm setting myself up for some gigantic new type of disaster. Time will tell!

How irritating that your friend broke your gadget, shodatin, I do hope you manage to replace it. Sleek and solid sounds très chic! Googling Tippy Tail came up with "THE ADVENTURES OF MISS TIPPY TAIL, KITTY BOO BOO, LILY LOLLIPOP AND JILLY BEAN", a family's adoption blog. So not that then.

But I've actually given up on hair gadgets and as you say, cut it all off ? tho not very consistently. As DP put it, trying to sweep back enough fringe to actually see me, "If I had a haircut, I'd give it to you."

And I shall definitely take you up on the afternoon without chores for tomorrow. Well overdue here.

Upward, have you got anything planned for tomorrow, too?

NanaNina, join us in a nice cuppa! And there are enough mugs for madmouse, kizzie, butterpie and anyone dropping in!

Night all, hope we all get some good rest and wake refreshed.

Morning all, and thanks to tianc for news of black-and-white-blur, complete with sandwich tin. I do hope you manage to fix a positive outcome for the problem, and agree it's better not rushed.
Have found bit of paper which says "Topsy Tail", and guess this is correct name for gadget, sorry about mistake (It's still not the best bit of merchandising, and am embarrassed to ask for one, even in Boots, where they're inured to odd requests).
How lovely that your DP can tease gently about hairdo, as men can be really upsetting - memories of Father's sincere compliment on new hair-do, which was actually head full of (new) rollers; "nice and tidy".

A miserable morning here, but look forward to a bit of pottering, including bit of sewing, almost a day-off in fact, and hope others can enjoy the day whatever the weather.

I hope the pottering goes well, shodatin .
What's the black and white blur, TIANC ?
New shoes sound good, hob - frivolity is good

I hope everyone is doing well, kizzie , madmouse , butterpie and NanaNina

I've turned up my power, so seeing if my head will settle this week - I'm enjoying not being so hot. Stressed a little over a clinic letter - I dislike the whole breakdown of 'me' into objective statements on signs and symptoms.

Brilliant to see you , upward !The "black & white blur " is next -door tomcat's nephew who's whizzed up to help Tianc with the autumn spider influx we all seem to be undergoing . Cats are knowledgeable about quantum physics so can teleport themselves wherever required ( as we were discussing the day before the apparent CERN findings )

Would you like me to ask Her Felinity if she has a friend near you who could nip over to help guard your flat from artachnids , or just be companionable ? Don't worry , We wouldn't expect reports of amusing antics - shodatin has a tortoishell female who took her own sweet time reporting for duty .

Have been fascinated to read about brain stimulation devices ( is that the right thing ? ) but what a daunting experience to actually be fitted with one - I see what Tianc meant about pioneering work . Looking it it up properly , I see that (in all cases ? ) there are many different ways to programme the device - amazing stuff but I see what a lot of experimentation you & your doctors have to be prepared for . The docs must have been delighted to have a level headed medical type in whose hands to entrust the controls . Very best wishes for an improvement this week , & am sure the weather will stay cooler to help .

The shrieks in this house when I read your post , Tianc - dh thought I was being murdered . < hides from mean , prodding Tianc > < strokes stouthearted b & w boy as spiders scoot , never to return >

Your current strategy for dealing with negative one sounds very promising , though I know what you mean about different tactics bringing new risks . As to "the wisdom of MN " , I do tend to think of it as first port of call for strategies in really complicated situations.One or two slightly sheltered person's experience is no match for the pieces of the jigsaw provided by many . ( bit like Ubuntu again ?)

No no shodatin, your advice was excellent and experienced , thank you so much ! That's the very reason why I'm annoyed it should be as you say " "
they seem desperate not to take anyone on to their full and underfunded books by insinuating that I'm a would-be oppressor of senior citizens for wanting MIL to see what services she might be able to receive .( they can obviously sense my true character ) Yes , all the Quakers in last night's meeting seemed delighted to be back in their favourite shorts & hiking sandals but most Friends seem also to delight in colourful clothes & pretty earrings , with characteristic zes, which you're familiar witht

MIL is distressed atm as the hospital have shocked her by recommending a feeding tube for her swallowing difficulties & malnourishment , which could be very sensible but feels alien to her as she is inexperienced around health matters . Docs say her lung problems may have been caused by inhaling food particles all along , caused by muscle weakness from childhood condition... wish they'd worked that out over the years in & out of hospital , but very positive if MIL can face having tube .

Aha , I've seen that Topsy Tail in the shops , shodatin but sometimes these gadgets go out of production for a few months before re emerging under a hopefully less daft name at Boots being inured to odd requests . I'll keep an eye out in local shops of bankrupt stock etc till then .
How hysterical that your DF thought your headful of rollers was the elegant finished style , shodatin and atTianc's DP's " If I had a haircut , I'd give it to you "

Don't know if you can open this link to a women's history site , shodatin www.guardian.co.uk/uk/the-northerner/2011/oct/05/herstory-archive-jill-liddington-anne-lister

so sorry - & that was after editing ... sets out mind - clearing

Thanks for the interesting link, hob, and I'll have another look at the details later. I'd be really grateful if you can find one of the Topsy Tails, but shall have to insist on sending you reimbursement this time, having gratefully received the Limnanthes seeds etc.

I do hope your MiL can achieve some improvement in her health, and will feel able to at least try the feeding tube, but it must be very difficult. Hopefully she will soon start to feel better in herself, and therefore more positive about it - hope so anyway.

Am sending best wishes to upward - glad that the weather has improved the way you feel and really hope that you will soon be able to "fine-tune" the electrical system.

Good luck with the retuning, Upward. Glad you're feeling a bit of relief from the change in weather. And sorry to have been confusing with our cyber fantasies of hob's next door's tomcat's nephew. Honestly, this thread will need footnotes soon!

Mm, know what you mean about seeing "yourself" apparently reduced to mere artefacts. Yuck. But it's so far from being all of you on that piece of paper. It's not your delight in good food or appreciation of music or love for your friends. All the things that make you You, and make you so different from a person sitting next to you at the day hospital, for example, with the same diagnosis but a completely different human being.

shodatin I hope the "miserable morning" just meant the weather, and you've had a lovely day pottering and sewing. But look what I found! If your hands aren't strong enough, I definitely think your Thai friend owes you this one! (Bizarrely, the woman in the film has to call on A Man to handle objects like wirecutters and electrical tape.) Film also suggests you can buy Topsy Tails on eBay or Amazon.

hob what wonderful link to that women's history resource! Fabulous stuff! And after I'd been mean and prodded you. Sorry to make you scream and scare DH, I only meant to make you laugh (not sure how...).

Sorry to hear MIL is distressed about tube. I don't know much about this ? would it mean a nasal tube, or direct into her stomach? And would it be uncomfortable or stop her talking? Sorry, don't answer if that's too intrusive. As you say, does sound like it could be quite beneficial if she can bear it.

Hm, MN as Ubuntu? I'd never thought of it like that, but you're absolutely right that it's a community with many many pieces of the jigsaw, and that we draw strength as well as advice from each other. One of the things that attracted me to MN was the fact that people seemed to cooperate and credit each other with expressing things well, rather than endlessly competing for their own moment on the soapbox. I've actually learnt such a lot just by lurking ? there are posters who have no idea they're helping me. And that's before I start on you lovely lot!

Bedtime here. Hope everyone gets to sleep OK, and wakes refreshed and recombobulated.

Grateful thanks to Tianc for finding Topsy Tail instructions, and will certainly have a go later this week. Might even buy wire-cutters, as I remember DH complaining they were lost.
Thai friend made higher tail with extra tucked-in ends rather than water-fall effect, but so pleased to see alternative.

Wishing goodnight to all, and final .

What was I doing upward, not mentioning the depressing clinic letter ,whilst spouting even more rubbish than usual . I'm sure Tianc's inspiring words lifted your spirits as they did mine , but apologies for seeming not to have heard you . Further apologies - for confusing references - should come from me , not Tianc

< feels recombobulated , at least with strong >

shodatin , please don't think of recompense when you have numerous times offered seeds , seedlings & all types of kindness , on top of the way the your online friendship buoys me up . I too will get new wire cutters to try out Tianc's hilarious Topsy Tail directions ... I never buy hair gadgets as am spatially challenged & leaflets don't explain enough , but this solves problem , & so economically < feels sleek and smug in advance >

< derisory snorts from Mumsnet at needing a man to cut the wire >

Ooooh , glad you like the herstory resouce , Tianc . If your laptop won't download the link , shodatin , I found the article in yesterday's online Guardian , in UK News , under a section on the right called The Northerner, which you may have seen before .
Oh yes , thank you & Tianc for extensive explanation of tomato seed pitfalls , about which I knew nothing

Thank you both so much for thoughts on MIL's potential comfort with either type of tube , & her state of mind atm . She has developed a degree of depression recently , but I think she may consent to stomach tube after all . She was weaker yesterday , though , very painful for brave dh . Will be very happy if she can come home , especially as cheery nurses will visit at first .

Tianc , agree totally that we all draw strength from each other on Mn & wish more of the people I know belonged to similar communities . I find it feels much healthier to share one's bewilderment with semi strangers than with own friends / relatives - much better for clarity . How right you are about cooperation & genuine motives for helping , compared with posturing on some sites .
Can't even begin to count the things I've learned (t?)on here - Mn has changed me considerably over years of lurking < gets to pedant's corner for writing / grammar rules >

Hmmmm , I seem to have scattered vital phone numbers etc all over house whilst trying to tidy - going to be a long day's search Also on standby for Operation Blanket - next door lady is still feeding stray tabby living on allotments & is thinking of launching a rescue operation to try to get Puss to the vets ... first catch your cat

I haven't commented on upward's letter either hob, simply because I don't have any experience , and because I know we have enough posters who do, and will reply with their usual warmth and wit, (Tianc in this case). Another good thing about Mumsnet, of course.
Thanks for details of herstory, and link worked perfectly well.
Have not previously heard of The Northerner, being out of touch with newspapers for many years, and will return to link when I have time to do more than a quick skim.
Best wishes for the cat capture, whoever actually manages it.
Some friends did this years ago, using food as a lure and having a cat carrier at the ready for a few days. Although they were successful and kitty convalesced quietly alone in my friend's shed, they were quite certain that would be the last time anyone got that cat into a carrier ever again.

I bet kitty wouldn't make the same mistake again , shodatin . Neighbour hasn't called me to hinder help so far & I doubt we'll ever catch the poor thing , as she's already feeding it , but perhaps it will be more amenable as it gets colder ?

Glad link works , & I know you haven't much time spare for extra pastimes . I find many people limit their intake of news for the sake of their emotional health ... I get quite annoyed by the capitalist press < award for pomposity > .

Thank you so much for comforting me about my neglecting to mention upward's letter . Am sure your thoughts on the upsetting material would be as valuable to her as all your other thoughtful contributions . Hope your uncomfortable symptoms lessen very soon ,upward

Phew , lots to do means lots of little sitdowns in cybergarden all round and "real" lemonade

Thanks muchly for the hob, was needing a mug of something.
Local Cat Protection have scheme for trapping/neutering/rehoming, should anyone want assistance, but am aware other areas may be different.
Have now made a Topsy Tail (from balloon whisk I got today in charity shop;) really easy but have yet to try it out.
DB changed mind about visiting today, so I was free to do a shop further afield, where I found a lovely old gnome in need of paint in same RSPCA charity shop! DB enjoys his gnomes, inherited with city-centre garden, so this will be a surprise, possibly for Christmas.

I see Gnome news has stricken friends speechless - no-one saw that coming, even as follow-up to Topsy Tail - but just had to mention it following on from cats, RSPCA and DS.
I understand that they're rare, and must admit, have never seen one for sale before. Or bought one, for that matter.

Please accept a from tray of assorted cups, mugs and glasses, and join me in a (second) bowl of strawberries to recover from gnome shock before bedtime.

That's a very... thoughtful Christmas present, shodatin.

But what a clever find getting the balloon whisk. Must be perfect for the job. And I'm still laughing out loud here at the Never Again cat-in-the-carrier. A heroic job well done, but kitty not the most grateful beneficiary...

hob any news on the current cat-catching? It's so good of you and neighbour to do this. I do agree with you, the cold weather may be the decider. Good luck! And I hope you have now reassembled your phone number collection.

Thanks for telling us about your MIL. You and DH must be drained. Fingers crossed she'll be back home soon and happier in her own surroundings.

Upward hope your day has gone well.

Suddenly very tired here. So shall wipe strawberry juice off face and say goodnight.

Sleep well all.

at mildly insulted shodatin and dazed Tianc. Sorry shodatin - fell asleep on sofa before sharing your gnome joy . As a fellow fan am sure DB will be delighted with his refurbished garden companion . I've never see one in a charity shop either , & I have looked < there there , Tianc >

Thank you both for kitty safety wishes - it's kind neighbour who's been patiently winning over this nervous tabby , & others tried to catch it some days ago . We're not getting very far with capture so must concentrate efforts as it suddenly became winter round here yesterday (after a glorious hot day ) < looks up local RSPCA , thank you shodatin>

Been thinking of you as always ,upward, hoping you're ever closer to feeling "right". Hope you're able to listen to something inspiring to pass the time .

Thank you so much , FIL says MIL was quite different last night - positively perky !( don't think it's a worrying side effect ,but result of resignation plus dose of optimism )They're meeting docs this morning to decide about tube .

Did find some of the precious phone nos after determined searching , thank you Tianc - in the place they were supposed to be where I pessimistically hadn't bothered to checkso was pleased to be able chat to those people after all . I remember you & shodatin were sorting your filing systems , & I 've been been refining ours , but must keep contact details in more formats as always lose them . As you 've both got some huge tasks out of the way this summer I hope you won't have too many tedious ones for winter .

Thought of cyberpeople whilst seeing ( very simple ) programme on theories of how the universe began as was trying to awken enough to respond tognomic tidings - nice programme on early electrical experiments too , both BBC 4.

Hope we've all had a refreshing sleep
< returns to frenzied strawberry therapy & sets out fresh supplies in shame >
espressos in honour of shodatin and

Mmm strawberries. I'm trying to file my papers due to my move - defintely takes time. hob , I hope the tube meeting goes as well as it can (once it's down, then it's ok to have in imho - I've had the nasogastric type and the one that they put a tube straight into your stomach with an op).

Thanks for the wise words about the clinic letter, TIANC Oddly, I find the psych clinic letters easier to read than the neuro ones - this was a neuro one.

A gnome sounds like a find, shodatin ! I hope the topsy tail works out, sounds innovative to make it from a whisk.

I'm umming and erring about putting the heating on - trying gloves and warm socks for now (very glad that I can type in gloves as I'm still trying to get work done).

I hope everyone has a good day!