Firstly long term ADs rock if you need them. I spent years ignoring advice to take them - parlptlybreinforced by massive opposition from my mum, my husband and one of my best friends. After at least 20 years of on and off depression and anxiety, nearly losing my job, my marriage and the chance to have children, I finally agreed to try two years ago and my life is transformed. I was worried I would lose track of myself in a chemical fug - instead after a couple of rejected options I have found one that works brilliantly. For me it is Venlafaxine, but obviously it differs. I have been told I am probably on them for life and I am totally happy with that. Obviously not everybody needs them long term, and I know some who have successfully come off, but if I need them frankly I've done my time in dark places. I'm lucky I have found mess which allow me to feel joy and sadness but in a "normal" way; I don't know if this is possible for all but would encourage people concerned by the effects of their ADs to talk to specialists - including asking the GP for a referral to the local mental health consultants, in case a better AD or dose for you can be found. I should add that I had about six to eight months of CBT as well, and that helped hugely, especially return to work; I honestly believe I needed both to get where I am. I still use the CBT skills to help when I have dips and though they are so upsetting at the time I just keep repeating the mantra that they will pass, which they do, thanks to the mess. I should say to those struggling with dips that you might need to up the dose, at least in the short term, and definitely ask the GP for support including some talking therapy. However I have also found through trial and error that my dips are almost always triggered by taking the meds at the wrong time, not in the morning, pref immediately after breakfast. If you do not have such a routine, maybe set one up and see if it helps.
Rockin - once I was stable I wanted to TTC so went to a private expert for advice. I saw Jeannie Spears (I think is spelling!) at Priory, Roehampton. She told me that Venlaxfaxine was on list of less safe ADs because there was less evidence it was safe as newer. She checked with a centre of expertise which records info on women and ADs, based in Newcastle, and based on their data there is no unnecessary risk yet suggested by the evidence. As she cheerfully pointed out my age (40) was a much greater risk!! The happy ending is we have a very happy smiley baby girl. It is probably too late to have the five DCs I now wish I had had, but we feel very blessed. I don't know how you can check: maybe MIND can help?
Brighter - I actually came on the forum for the first time to ask the same question. My god daughter recently asked a couple of questions, to which the most honest answer would have been about the depression, but I avoided it (she is nine). It got me wondering when I should be more open with nephews and nieces to whom I'm very close (aged nearly six to 2 3/4), and later DD. Any advice or experience very welcome.
FAB - do look after yourself. Sorry you are having a tough time now. Really feel for you and hope you have support. Had something more specific I wanted to say, but forgotten... Will return when I remember.
Great thread. First time I have shared experiences. Like others I'm keen to start being more honest to break the stigma, though I find most people hugely understanding, and often have had or been close to similar issues.