Long Term Anti depressant users .... 12 years for me now and counting

[kizzie]

Hi everyone - this is a semi regular question from me but just wanted to catch up with others.

(Not that Im boring or anything ! )

I was given ad's 12 years ago for PND. Ive never managed to come off them completely since although have had long periods on quite lowish doses. (Equivalent of 10mg and below of something like prozac/citalopram)

Im on a similar dose to that now (although its an older tricyclic) after having a big crash again last year. Things not completely smooth (still some break through anxiety and lows - 'blips') but had some good weeks so hoping that at some stage will back to complete stability again.

IF that happens (fingers crossed) then planning to stay on lowish dose for some time to come as dont want to risk another major dip.

Im also taking fish oils. And really (really this time) trying to do all the relaxation exercises etc.

Anyway I just wondered:

• how do you feel re. taking long terms ad's
• are you worried about long term impacts
• have partic medications worked better longer term than others etc etc
• anything really, just interested to hear from others in same position. I just cant quite believe that at 29 I had no previous mental health issues. Now at 41 Ive been on ad's for soooo long.

orange - that sounds sensible if you are affected more at different times of the year.

Winter is definitely worse. I don't want to reduce at all at the moment. I think the time to is in the spring but I missed the chance this year because I was waiting for surgery. There's always next spring but I think I would have to do it with some support as don't want to keep yoyo-ing. It's a tricky one.

Re - telling people. I didnt till anyone other than close family and 1 friend for the first few years.

But now I am much more open about it. Im in quite a senior position at work and decided it was time to stand up to any stigma.

I had a big crash last year and needed time off work. in the past id been able to hide behind 'family things' but this time I was totally honest with everyone.

i still dont talk about it a lot though - although Im not sure I would if it was any other illness either. there's only so much people want to hear isnt there.

'How are you', 'Fine', 'Good'

sorry x posts - yes agree the yo-yoing is horrible. Sounds like youhave good plan in place.

TheOriginal - I'm really shocked people reacted like that when you told them. How awful for you. I'm quite open about being on ads, but I know quite a few people who are also/have been on them. It tends to be older family members I don't tell, as I feel they wouldn't understand.

Kizzie - good for you to combat the stigma at work. That can't have been easy, although maybe it was also a relief not to have to pretend anymore. I hope people were sympathetic.

Orange - sorry you had that experience with your friend. How silly of her. As for trying to avoid taking ads - I just think that if you had diabetes or asthma, you would have to take drugs and no-one would argue with that. I don't think depression is any different.

Hi everybody,
I have been taking ADs for in around 10 years, I have been told that I will most probably be on them 'indefinitely'.'
I'm horrified that people stopped speaking to you ORIGINALFAB. Absolutely shocked, I thought that this level of ignorance had fallen away. It must have been hard to deal with, did somebody say something to you?

I do accept the argument that if you are sick, you need help/medication, however, I'm slightly suspect of the marketing of Pharma firms etc.

I'm pretty open to alternative therapy, but am on a high dose of the meds so it has to be in conjunction with.

I'm having a difficult time at them moment and trying everything I can to get well and stay as well as I can.

Nice to be in touch

Well, I've been on and of since i was 16 - that's 31 years!!!! Currently, I've been on venlafaxine for 6 years - I came off it for a while and was completely a/d free, but after another 'breakdown' as it were, tried everything else to avoid the heavy duty V, but nothing worked. Am on 150mg a day atm, but am going to start 75 in the morning and 37.5 in the evening really soon. Not 'proud' of being on them, but if they keep me stable....

This is a really inspiring thread. I'm on prozac been on it since late december. This is my second time taking meds for depression .I feel really good at the moment apart from tiredness. Now I'm better I realise how ill I was and for how long.I haven't told lots of people but this thread makes me think I should. I have been thinking about telling my son he's 16 I don't know whether too or not or is it too much for him. What do you think? BTW I'm a single mum.
TIA

Some just ignored me completely. One lady I was talking to me a few times and nothing since I told her I was having counselling. Just ignorant people. I will be happier once we move away.

Fab thats really terrible

Hello to everyone else who has posted. I wont have any online access for the next couple of days so wont be able to post - but didnt want anyone to think I was ignoring them if I dont reply.

Melissa - sorry you're havign a difficult time at the moment. Hope it eases really quickly. Im also in one of my spells of trying lots of different things. (Im terrible when I feel ok - I dont do any of the things you are supposed to do to maintain it. Thats one thing Ive got to get much much better at!).

Hi to Corrie and Brighter - im not sure what to say about your son. Mine are younger than that. Not sure what I'll do when they are older. Although have a feeling I may be honest with them without going into too much detail. Im sure others will have other thoughts on it.

I've been on citalopram for 3-4 years on and off. I think i'll be on if for a long time..i've suffered depression since I was a teenager and don't think I ever addressed it. I sometimes panic that I can't live without them but if it makes me a better person while i'm on them then I suppose i'm better off.
I've asked for cbt but there's a long long waiting list and the doctor seems reluctant to refer me. I don't know if this would work??
When i'm not on them I have no motivation, very black thoughts and I have terrible anger issues. Feel like I could kick the crap out of people in the post office just for breathing.
Mental illness runs in my family and I think Imight just have been predisposed to it.

FAB I am also appalled at the reaction you got from other parents in the school playground

brightermornings - I have a 17 year old and a 12 year old and they both know about my past depression and my problems coming off prozac etc, and my oldest takes interest in how I'm doing, when they were little I didn't say anything but as they've got older and much more aware it didn't seem right to keep something so fundamental about myself under wraps, I grew up in a family where everything embarrasing was hushed up or brushed under the carpet and I decided I wasn't going to do that with my children, I didn't feel as though I could confide in my parents about anything and I wouldn't want my children to feel they couldn't talk to me about anything if that makes sense.

I am not really surprised tbh. What upset me is when my inlaws don't understand and ask what I have to be depressed about.

Oh older people are the worst in my experience.

When I confessed to a mum up the road, years ago, that I'd had depression and was on AD's, she went on to tell me that she was as well, and quite a few others in the school playground, I suddenly realised I wasn't alone.

Hi choklit I've just been to see my doctor this morning to talk about my AD
dosage. Like yourself I've been on them for around 2 years. Recently I've been feeling lower too, especially in the mornings. I agree it's scary how things can change when you think you're doing fine on your current dose. I had been feeling quite well for a time.

I asked my doctor this morning if your body gets used to the dose as I thought this might happen, but she said no this doesn't happen, it's the depression worsening. We had a chat. She thinks I'm having a wobble and I agree but I've decided to stay on my normal dose for now. She also said she didn't want to jump in to quick and up my dose, but we need to stay on top of things.

I'm due to see her again in two weeks time. Meanwhile she's suggested keeping to a good sleep routine and going for more walks as I can't run at the moment due to an injury and this normally really helps me.

How old are your children? I'm finding the school holidays aren't helping me at the moment.

Interesting thread....I've been on and off AD's for around ten years and recently had a spell of three years without them but I am on Prozac now. I feel good on Prozac i do get tired easily but I think like some people I have had a hard time accepting that i may need to be on AD's long term. My main problem is panic attacks and i would love to hear from others who also suffer with panic attacks. The prozac wiped out my anxiety within about three days of taking it so for me this is the best response i have ever had to an AD. The worst AD for me was Seroxat i gained about forty pounds on it. I don't take the Prozac when i am really tired as it just seems to make me more drowsy, missing the odd tablet here and there doesn't seem to affect me too much which is good. I will take this for as long as i still feel good and calm!!

Hi philnteds. I am a fellow panic attack sufferer. They are utterly debilitating, aren't they? I too take Prozac, and have found it to be very effective.
As I said earlier in the thread. After years on and off them, with regular lapses and the anxiety of coming off. Then the fear that the panic will return; the inevitability when it does..... It felt like a nightmarish cycle. So when I saw a GP who said I should stop thinking in terms of 'coming off' the meds, because I had a chronic condition which needed treatment. It was a blessed relief.

its really interesting to read about those of you who have found the right dose and happily getting on with life.

I have been well on the dose im on in the past - but this time round I am still having lots of ups and downs which means that i dont feel confident planning things etc. Im going to work, looking after the children etc. so part of me thinks i should just accept it. (I have always had a really awful time in the past with changing doses or ad's)

But on the other side I think - if im going to take them i should at least find one /a dose that works fully.

Or maybe this is my 'working fully' now - because im aware that hormones etc could be playing a part.

I am not doing that great at the moment but I don't know if it is because the effects of the pills are wearing off now I am used to them, or because the children are being very annoying challenging.

Hi all,

I went out with my closest friends last week and I asked what they thought about telling DS. They didn't think it was a good idea incase he blamed himself. I've had problems with ds he's always been a challenge although the last couple of years he's really knuckled down at school and has been accepted for college.
So I'm still unsure what to do I don't want to hide it I suppose because I'm not ashamed of being ill. Also I worry incase he may suffer from it. I'm not sure if it's heriditary (sp) my dad told me first time I was on ad's my mum had suffered from depression.
I hope your all feeling ok

brightermornings in that case it's a tough one and if he's been a challenge and doing well now, maybe best to leave things be.

Quick update - I've been getting out for an early morning walk the last few mornings as advised by my doctor. The weather has been really beautiful here so it's not been that difficult. I have been really enjoying the time to myself and when I get home I feel good for a while. The trouble is the good feeling doesn't last very long. I have had some good news recently and had a lovely day with family yesterday, but today I've been feeling anxious and tearful and this seems to be happening more and more.

I'm 43 and haven't had a period for about three months. Is it hormones playing a part? Before I make any changes to my dose maybe I ought to get them checked. I've got used to just feeling alright but not particularly happy for a while and am perhaps starting to sink again.

choklit I have three dc too. They are 11,9 and 7. I've found it's got easier as they've got older but three are quite demanding and I'm exhausted a lot of the time. I probably do too much like most mums and then start to go downhill ..

brightermornings It's tricky to know what to do but perhaps best not to 'rock the boat' for now. My dds don't know I'm on ADs atm. Will probably tell the eldest at some stage.

i may well start lurking around here.

i'm on ads, have been for nearly a year. there was a specific incident which sent me to the doc. but looking back through my life there have been depressive tendancies for a lot of it.

i really don't know at what point it stops being the normal up/down of life, and becomes 'depression'? i know that people say when it affects your life, but just feeling fed up because it's raining has an effect & def. isn't depression.

i also used to get terribly upset about things, either get v angry, or just v wound up/frustrated etc about things, to the point of being unable to sleep or think about other things. this has improved dramatically since being on the ads, so is it part of the depression? i used to just think that i was 'highly strung'?