Anyone else with anxiety/depression that comes and goes?

[sphil]

Most days I wake up feeling anxious - butterflies in stomach, feeling of dread, nausea etc. It usually improves as the day goes on, and I rarelyfeel anxious in the evenings. I also have days when I feel sad, flat, unmotivated etc. But my appetite is generally fine (except when I'm really anxious), I sleep OK, I don't feel worthless -and it never lasts more than a couple of days -three at the most, so I don't think I'd be diagnosed as depressed.

anyone else suffer from intermittent symptoms like this? I'm 50 btw, and in perimenopause, which obviously doesn't help! But I've had these symptoms, on and off, for the last 5 years and I'm so fed up with feeling as if I'm on a roller coaster.

just read that post through and what it doesn't describe is the feeling of absolute despair I get when my anxiety is acute - as if I can't bear feeling like this for a moment longer. then when I'm feeling OK it's as if I can't remember what it felt like. very odd.

My depression used to be like this, I would feel absolutley dire and desperate in the morning and as the day wore on it would lift and I would feel better in the evening, but dread going to be knowing that it would start again in the morning, I have a feeling there is a name for it "diurnal depression". Mine was persistant depression though. Sorry not much help really, don't know what to suggest apart from seeing the doctor.

Saw a teenage doctor today who I think just wrote me off as a menopausal woman. Suggested ADs ( I was on them for about 9 months five years ago) but although on bad days I feel as if I need them, it seems ridiculous to take something everyday when I feel OK about half of the time.

It sounds like it could be hormone related.

I'm reading a really interesting book at the moment called Beating Stress, Anxiety & Depression

It describes how a number of different neurotransmitters and hormones can be responsible for the symptoms of anxiety and depression and doctors don't generally test for these before prescribing antidepressants. Which means that a lot of people are given the wrong drug that can actually make their symptoms worse. If you were tested and they found out it was a progesterone deficiency for example, then by giving you a low dose of progesterone and perhaps some supplements you would probably feel much better without having the trial and error of various drugs that aren't right for you.

All it requires is blood and urine tests that your doctor can refer you for or you can have them done privately.

I would definitely recommend it.

Thanks Malinkey - have had a look on Amazon and it sounds like just the thing I need, so have ordered. I am pretty sure my moods are diet related too - ate very late last night and have felt sick most of today, with accompanying anxiety about the possibility of being sick at work!

Meant to say by the way that I also have these feelings that come and go. And I know exactly what you mean when you talk about the absolute despair when you're feeling like that but then not being able to remember it when you're not.

That book also recommends diet and other stuff (but I haven't got that far yet). I suspect a lot of my anxiety is to do with my current situation which is stressing me out but will soon be coming to an end - so am going to see if I feel better when my life is resolved a bit more, otherwise I'm going to go and get myself tested to see what supplements/medication might help.

Good luck - let us know how you get on.

Yes, I also have possible reasons for my moods - apart from the menopause - my Mum died last year, Ds2 has autism and severe learning difficulties and my job is stressful at times and not always very rewarding. But I honestly don't feel as if that's the whole story. However, as you can imagine, whenever I see a doctor they look at my life and my age and almost shrug and say 'what do you expect?'

Mine is like this, but I can go long periods (months even) and be fine. Today though ihave woken up in floods of tears for no obvious reason.
However, I do have a long term health problem which results in chronic pain, hwich naturally gets me down, plus DH's job isn't as safe as we thought it would be, so I think that, coupled with one or 2 other issues aren't helping how I feel today

I have also jsut ordered the book Malinkey linked to

I had a severe episode of depression last Easter and was in hopsital for 3 months and have been struggling to recover ever since. I can have 2,3,4 weeks of feeling fine like my old self and then I can wake feeling flat, empty, anxious and it is all I can do to get through the day and if it weren't for my DP I would probably stay in bed all day on those days. There is no pattern and no triggers that I am aware of. Psych has just upped my ADs so hoping for some improvement, but not too optimistic.

Sphill - I think you are "underplaying" your fluctuations in mood.Is it anything to do with the recent death of your mother. Also you have a stressful job and child with special needs - quite a lot on your plate. By underplaying I mean that you seem to be wary of recognising that these ups and downs are affecting your life to the extent that they are. I know exactly what you mean about teenage doctors - I once saw one who looked about 12!

I would see a more experienced GP (usually the partners are more experienced) and I wouldn't rule out a low dose of AD. did they help when you took them 5 years ago. Strangely I have had an e mail from a close friend tday, talking about days when a grey cloud descends and although she can function it is all a struggle (she has never told me this before and has supported me all through my depression) but they only come occasionally.

You say you have suffered these fluctuations for 5 years and were on ADs 5 years ago - do you know what the trigger was then, or did you stop taking ADs.

Anxiety can often emerge before full blown depression and can be the last symptom to subside quite often. I honestly think you should see a more experienced doctor but again GPs can ony dish out ADs but they might just help.

Would therapy help do you think. There is a book called "Depressive Illness - the curse of the strong" written by a dr called Tim (forgot his last name but it's on Amazon. His book is based on the notion that depression is caused by stress (mine isn't) and so would probably be useful to you because it sounds like your ups and downs are stress related.

Sending good wishes

hi Nana
I went on ADs 5 years ago just after my son was diagnosed with autism, was on them for 9 months and then stopped gradually as felt I could cope. I had some counselling then as well which was very helpful. I then had three years of being fine - occasional anxiety, but nothing serious at all. It all got worse again last summer - my mother died at the end of May. There is definitely a pattern - I seem to go downhill a couple of months after a period of stress. I'm seeing a therapist again atm and although I sometimes hate going and it's horribly expensive, I can see it's doing me good. The reason I posted was that I wondered whether fluctuations in mood were common - I've been fine for the last few days and find it hard to remember how I felt last week!

It does sound sphil like a reactive depression, as you go downhill a couple of months after a period of stress, but the symptoms are reasonably mild, so if you can get by with therapy so be it. The fluctuations for me I am told by the psych are "to be expected" but my CPN tells me they are "not common" but they "can happen" so to be honest I don't think anyone really knows and a lot of MH stuff is trial and error.

I know just what you mean about fluctuations - I am having my 7th day of feeling really good but is always spoiled by the fact that it won't last and when I am "me" I can't really believe how I can get so low and when I am low I don't believe I will ever get well again. It's all so exhausting and frustrating.

Wish you well and hope things even out for you.

Do you find your moods are affected by what you eat and drink Nana?

No not at all sphil - if I had the remotest idea of what the triggers are I would move heaven and earth to do/not do whatever it was. The fact that I can't identify triggers is one of the things that upsets me and I don't feel in control of my life.

The good days stopped today incidentally - had an unusual feeling of optimism yesterday - out to lunch with a friend, enjoyed chatting etc and even managed to sit in the sun for about 30 mins........today woke with the old familiar flat feeling and have had to dip out of my dil's family do for a birthday. Improved a bit through the day and as usual am just about ok now it's bedtime, but know tomorrow will also be crap.

Re eating and drinking. I don't drink alcohol at all and am rather a fussy eater so tend to eat the same things, fairly plain food, fruit & veg (but not enough) fish, baked spuds etc. Don't like curries, chillies, indian food, anything hot and spicey.

Think it's time I tried therapy again. I had 3 months therapy with a psycho dynamic therapist which did no good as my dep/anx symptoms were worsening and she was trying to unearth some buried trauma from my childhood that wasn't there. Tried another but onlywent once as she as also psycho dynamic and started to make interpretations that didn't fit. Then went to a CAT therapist (cognitive analytical therapy)she was nice but I just couldn't keep it up - I think the first therapist has put me off for good and all, but I think it's time I tried again.

That must be very hard, not knowing the triggers. I know I am worse when I drink alcohol or eat rubbish food and better when I get a good nights sleep, exercise etc. But then that's probably true of most people! Think what's thrown me recently is going into menopause - I always used to 'rationalise' my moods by linking them to my cycle (always worse at ovulation and pre menstrually) but now I haven't had periods for the last three months I can't really do that any more.

I've had integrative arts therapy which was excellent - drawing, modelling etc instead of ( or as well as) talking. I would have gone back to her, but we've moved. This one has helped me a great deal with coping with my mothers death, but only a bit with the anxiety. She seems to think that I lead quite an anxiety-provoking life, but that I don't recognise this - that I see it as a sign of weakness. Which is probably all true, but doesn't necessarily help me deal with it!

Thanks for your replies and hope you are feeling a bit better today.