Relative in poor mental health-what can I do to help?

[biryani]

I have a cousin who's in poor mental health and I don't know what to do to help him. He's 56. He's been slightly "odd" behaviourally since childhood and is an only child. He's been taking a variety of pills since his early 20s, for depression and anxiety. I think he now takes 12-14 a day, although I'm not sure what they are. He hasn't worked since his mid-20s and has never left home. He recently lost his mother who doted on him but suffered from dementia for about 5 years prior to her death. He is now practically a recluse, and says he suffers panic attacks when he goes out. His mobility has been affected by the tablets and he has no bladder function. He has a social worker, nurses and helpers (not full time) but is rapidly going downhill despite the support he's getting. I visit regularly and he has people in the neighbourhood looking out for him. I think he should move to some sort of supported accommodation, but he is unable/ unwilling to take decisions so nothing happens. He has plenty of money and a house but refuses to spend anything on making his life better. What can I do?

Sounds like he needs a review and fast. U need to speak to his social worker who will get him assessed by his psychiatrist, possibly needs a change of medication.

Possibly you can do very little if he doesn't want anything to change. A move to sheltered accommodation is a very big step and he may lose the people around him that make him feel safe.

What is the problem with him carrying on as he is?

Your cousin has probably deteriorated since losing his mother, and will still be grieving. If there is a branch of the charity "Cruse" nearby, it may be worth contacting them, as there are social arrangements as well as counselling available (and not only for loss of partners, as I understand.

Thanks so much for comments. He's just had a review ofhis medication, with a view to reducing slightly. I agree that moving would be a huge step but his condition is deteriorating so rapidly that soon there will be no option, imho, because his house is in such a state. I've cleaned for him in the past, but he found it traumatic and started cutting himself. What he needs,I feel, is a full-time carer, but he won't pay for one. I think he would really like ime to become his carer myself and part of me feels guilty that I am not doing more to help him. I'm at the end of my tether and really worried.

I wonder if you've discussed this with his social worker - are you next-of-kin? It must be worrying if he has no other family nearby to help.

I'm his closest blood relative who is in touch with him. He has other cousins but they are not close. Yet another cousin lives in the same street and is a great support, but I don't want her to feel that she is put-upon because she lives closest. She also has problems of her own and is not in great health. I live about 20 miles away, a 40-minute drive. So far I have been able to visit regularly, at least once a week, but I need to go back to work full-time soon as my DP is unemployed. I think my cousin is panicking over this. I am in regular contact with his social worker, and she's great, but she is running out of options now as my cousin doesn't seem to know what he wants.