That's it really.
Many things are really getting mecdown and I feel like I sm sinking 
Don't know why but 'friends' never make effort to see me despite many of them not working (I work 4 days a week). Most will only invite me to see them or will fit me in seemingly as a last resort. It always seems to be me doing all the running as if I didn't I don't think anyone would contact me. As a bit of a 'test' I haven't contacted anyone for 3 weeks and I haven't seen or heard from anyone.
I never seem to have any money at all so end up being stuck at home with no petrol in car to go anywhere or actively seek out seeing people.
Brothers never reply to my texts and consistently let me down.
I just feel bloody miserable all the time and really lonely. On the surface I prob might seem like I have loads of friends, colleagues at work, friends in band I am in, force myself to be upbeat friendly and chatty at work buts getting increasingly hard to keep up the pretence. Most days I just want to stay in bed.
Had day off today and have literally done nothing, can't motivate myself, either spend the day walking round the house or just sitting there. Then school pick up time comes and I feel guilty and cross with self that I have wasted yet another day
Anyway that's it really just wanted a bit of a moan and someone to talk to :( thanks for listening