Not sure why I am posting this as I know that it is a decision I have already made about a situation that has been building up for such a long time.
My eldest son, 15, is under psychiatrist care of the local CAMHS team with a suspected diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder & drug induced psychosis.
He has been 'off-key' since he was about 4 yrs old & has had various low key interventions from school based anger management etc since age about 9. He finally got CAMHS referral when he seriously assaulted another pupil about 18 months ago.
My partner is away 3 out of 4 weeks and this wont change for another year, so I am alone with 2 younger kids & am 6 months pg. This is relevant as DS1 has told psychiatrist & admitted to me that he hears voices telling him to harm people including me & his younger siblings.
The psychiatrist has told me to be vigilant re child protection & TBH I do worry a lot on the days (well nights really) when DS1 seems to be particularly unwell. At these times I dont sleep until I know he has gone to bed & seems settled; this isnt until 3am some nights.
Basically DS1 has been 'on one' today since returning from school & there has been an argument between DS1 & DC2 tonight. I have intervened as DS1 apparantly was squaring up to DC2 (age 11) and then threw DC3's games console on the floor.
Usually DS1 will listen to me even if he is hostile but tonight he refused & wouldnt leave the playroom to go to his room to calm down; he ended up walking out of the house & has not returned yet which is another boundary challenge in itself as he has a strict 9pm curfew on school nights. I haven't checked if he is in the shed or near the house which is where he goes if he is locked out when he gets back home before me; I feel a bit wary of approaching him TBH.
I called BIL but he is working tonight otherwise he would have collected DS1 & had him stay there; DS1 will listen to larger males.
I have called duty social work team as per what is on his CAHMS care plan & am waiting for a call back. Feel so empty with it all.
Sorry this is so long but I wanted to get it of my chest & feel better for doing so already.