Lack of control

[KalokiMallow]

Everything feels like it is out of my hands and such a struggle.
I feel like I'm running up a down escalator with rollerskates on. Always going backwards no matter how much effort I out in.

I wish I could do something to get control back, and the only things I can think of are "not healthy". I want to self harm, and I want to starve myself. :(

Kaloki it is natural that you want to do these things because you are your coping mechanisms. I know the feeling. My sh is extremely mild in that I only use my nails, but it's still something I rather wouldn't do.

But you have found a different strategy too - you've come on here to talk and that is good. Talk away, anything that helps.

Not going to go into alternatives for sh, you know all those. Just do what you can to seek and accept support and keep taking it one day at a time. Just really hoping your dh will get some support now, that will make such a difference to you.

sorry they are your coping mechanisms - you are a lot more than your coping mechanisms

Just found out the one of our rats has two tumours on top of everything :( We've had her since she was a baby :(

I've had enough of all this :(

Oh no....that's just one thing too many isn't it. They are quite prone to tumours but it's still your lovely pet xx