oh this hurts so much.

[misdee]

just been putting together a photo album for peter. he should be home with me seeing the girls grow up, ishouldnt be documenting their lives with photos for him. it hurts so much

Hey, what can anyone say, except you are right, it shouldn't be happening. So, so sorry. I think of you often.

i just want so answers. why was he fobbed off by the gp and ambulance crew when he first fell ill? why was it left to us to get him to a and e. why didnt the local hospital listen to us last year when we stated severaltimes he was showing signs of left heart failure? fed up of fighting, andjust wantto know why?

I think of you too - you're fantastic. What have I got to moan about? I'm sure he loves the pictures and here's hoping you are all home soon enjoying your lovely family together. I think family albums are fantastic - so many of us must mean to do it but never get round to it.

I think sometimes the medical system lets people down so badly. Like poor Bubble. People cock up. Maybe they just didn't expect to see such a problem in such a young healthy bloke. I don't know why they didn't listen to you. It's terrible that they didn't.

so many people have cocked up over my dh care, cant fault harefield tho, they have been fantastic, and the hospital where he did eventually get dx the care was great. but my local hospital where he spent nov/dec/jan last/this year is rubbish. its a 1 star hospital. i just feel angry about it. if they had referred him to harefield when we took him in in nov, he could've been on the list dec/jan and may have had a transplant in that time.

but thats all what if's. i cant change the past.

I just signed up with a new GP and ticked all the boxes on the organ donation list and thought of Peter at the time.

thanks. i know more people have signed up because of peter, and i am glad people are but it still hurts so much.

It's so unfair. I know you just wanted a regular life like the rest of us.

when i get a regular life, i'm gonna go nutty.

i've neverbeen normal

mind u i might start posting normal worries and moan abut dh on the relationship board.