Im not sure where to start and this may be a bit disjointed - sorry.
My mother - I now realise - has always had behavioural issues. She has always been pretty toxic - mostly to me (only child) and my dad. She has always been either crying hysterically, screaming and name calling, vile and rude or clingy and childlike - never just 'normal'.
A few months ago a minor illness seemed to tip her over the edge. Her short term memory has deteriorated rapidly in e space of six months to the point where she can't recall a conversation had five minutes previously, goes to shop but can't remember what for, bought my DD the same item for Christmas x 4 and then cried when she realised etc. She is also even more aggressive than usual and has been vile to me over Christmas - calling me awful things in front of my DCs and walking out on Christmas day in a foul
temper for no reason.
I have attended four GP appointments with her and the GP believes that she is depressed and this is causing the memory loss and mood swings. The chemist supplies her medication in a weekly chart sheet with the days in bister packs but she can't seem to follow the course. My DH has been driving to her house several times a week to check her medcation and it's always in a muddle. We can't leave it to my Dad as he (like me) is regarded as the enemy and she won't let him near her or her tablets and screams at him, lies and hides them.
My DH cannot sustain this responsibility and i am struggling with the 6 or 7 phone calls a day whe we just talk round in circles. She calls, we talk, she says I'm lying and there is nothing wrong, I remind her that we love her and want to help and that we've had the conversation twice already that day, she tells me we haven't spoken, she calls me names and slams the phone down, she forgets we've spoken and an hour later we do it all again.
I now have her best (and only remaining) friend calling me everyday to tell me how 'mad' mum is and that she keeps forgetting plans they've made or things they've agreed - even though they spoke an hour earlier.
I did call the GP and tell her i was concerned things were getting worse and she referred mum to s specialist who agreed with the deprerssion diagnosis but she still seems to be getting worse not better.
On top of this my DH who has been fab, is very stressed at work and also has a a lot of childhood issues. Like my mum he is too stubborn (and selfish actually) to get professional help so he drinks every night and becomes very verbally abusive and unpleasant. It's like living with Jekyll and Hyde.
I know they are both ill in their own ways. Both refuse to 'talk' to a professional about the issues that have brought them here and chose instead to use me as a kind of therapy (my mum is always telling me how she hates my father, should never have married him etc, and when DH drinks he rants similar things about me :(. In the day (sober) he apologises, but it still hurts.
I am tired. I want them to get better but don't know what else i can do. I feel my DCs are starting to suffer by witnessing such volatile mood swings and hearing me be insulted by my mum and DH - I just don't feel equipped to cope. Any advice would be welcome and sorry this post is so long and full of typos.