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Original poster

Dissatisfaction is engulfing me and I'm drowning in..

70 replies

dropinthe · 13/09/2005 15:10

self hatred at the moment.
There,I said it! Not would you normally here from "ole" me but OMG do I feel like screaming at my life and everything in it.
I'm getting fatter by the day and blaming it on an underactive thyroid,(which I do have but I also eat to give myself comfort),don't particularly like DH at the moment,are letting my kids drive me crazy and feel,in general,like a piece of shit.
We never have any money,live in house I hate in an area I hate-I have handful of adequate friends but have no one whom I can really confide in-God,I wish I had a good,dare I say it,"best" friend!
I'm so ANGRY at the moment!
I've had enough of this crappy existence called motherhood and quite often wish I weren't one.

OP posts:
Original poster
dropinthe · 13/09/2005 16:16

HM-HAVE CAT U.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 13/09/2005 16:17

Lovely - will check later (they're not immediate, I don't think). We can feel better, I'm sure!

ssd · 13/09/2005 16:38

hugs to both of you. I'm feeling fat and lonely today, sometimes being a mum is hard work!
how old are your boys dropinthe? I've got two age 4 and 7 yrs, wonderful but hard work and ds2 poor sleeper!

Oh well,as I said hugs to you both and any other mums out there feeling like a bit of a cry ....

Lio · 13/09/2005 16:54

Hey dropinthe, hope the CAT-ing is helping. Not sure I can say anything practical, except to reinforce what others have said about it being OK to feel like this - there's this horrible dichotomy between feeling crap and cross and and then thinking that we shouldn't because we are in the top few percent of the world's wealthy and therefore should be laughing. Doesn't always work that way.

You are right - best friends are the business and to be cherished. Sounds like you have a few MN admirers and Monday's meet-up is something to look forward to. Enjoy the brownies - churlish to turn them down

Luckie · 13/09/2005 17:06

Big hugs to you dropinthe and anyone else who is feeling down.
I know I haven't been a MNer for long but I am a very good listener should you need me.

Original poster
dropinthe · 13/09/2005 17:07

I have 2 boys -one four in January and the other two in January-youngest is the devils' nemesis sometimes.
Today,I am just not coping AT ALL!
I could scream if I was given the space to do so.

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Luckie · 13/09/2005 17:46

I have no idea what it is like to bring up two children , I just know that one is hard enough.
I'll bet that you are doing a brilliant job with your boys.
I sometimes feel like I want my life back or to just get a break but it feels like I'm stuck in a pit and there is no way out. Times like these are when I just can't bring myself to talk to anyone in rl about it.
I don't want to harp on about me though when I am trying to help

Original poster
dropinthe · 13/09/2005 17:58

No,the more people you feel are in the same boat,the less you feel isolated!
Motherhood is very hard work and if you have any kind of inbalances in your life be it hormonal,emotional,whatever...it makes it much harder!

OP posts:
magnolia1 · 13/09/2005 18:03

Blimey I came on here to start a thread almost the same

I have 4 girls and feel like throttling them to the verge of almost doing so

I have been on AD's for PND with the twins and our youngest who is 2 but came off them gradually over the past few months.

Now wondering if I should have

What you posted described me exactly so I am sorry I don't have any advice but wanted to say I know how you feel.

Off to bath the kids and try not to drown them

Original poster
dropinthe · 13/09/2005 18:10

At least I saved you the effort of posting it eh? I'm afraid I've taken to the bottle tonight after abstaining since Friday in the main!
To top it off,have just found about 10 ants under my computer desk-on the first floor of my house FFS!

OP posts:
Original poster
dropinthe · 13/09/2005 18:12

Ive not cooked dinner.
Not bathed the kids.
Sat and cried in front of them all afternoon,(something I try not to do in the norm).
Am going for a walk if I can when DH gets in to clear my head of this shitty day!

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magnolia1 · 13/09/2005 18:37

Awww hun, hope your dh gets in soon (hug emotion that we should have on here!!)

I have cooked dinner but the buggers wouldn't eat it so I screamed at them Just bathed them and they fought so much I screamed at them!!

Dh at work till 3am He didn't start till 3pm which is bloody typical coz thats when I get the girls from school so its just me that gets it

Hope you get your thyroid medication sorted

Gonna look around the other threads and post as usual with wit and intelligenece and not a sign of sadness, which from what I can tell is what you do too

Original poster
dropinthe · 13/09/2005 18:58

You're not wrong!

Dh not so bad-has come in,all heroic,and taken manly charge of dinner,kids,life,the universe and everything!

I now feel a tad better as have had a couple of glasses of red,(Hope MascaraOHara not lurking on here!) and things feel more normal.

Until tommorrow-when I make an appointment with my quack and pour my heart out!

Thanks all for advice and ears!

Its why I love Mumsnet so much!

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magnolia1 · 13/09/2005 19:10

Think I might do the same, or try St John's Wort 1st
Glad you feel a bit better. I envy the wine!! Dh not here so I can't go to shop and buy some could do with a Huuuuge glass

Original poster
dropinthe · 13/09/2005 19:17

I buy these supplements and then forget to take thenmsaying that had breastfed so long I couldn't even if I wanted. Off to Boots tommorrow now-Thanks for reminding me!

I'll have an extra glass for you honey!

By the way,I've dlots of offers of CATing people today-do you yCAT ing me? Will respond tommorrow?

Might make YOU feel better,eh?

OP posts:
Original poster
dropinthe · 13/09/2005 19:18

Spot the depressed person getting drunk??

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cori · 13/09/2005 19:25

My BF has underactive thyroid. It took about a year of taking the pills for them to start really working. She lost three stone in about three months. She was also taking Seroxat, for panic attacks/depression. Once thyorixine kicked in she was able to stop the seroxat and hasnt had panic attacks since. I think you have to give it time. I also think you have to have another blood test before they adjust the dose.

KBear · 13/09/2005 19:30

drop - so DH isn't so crap after all!! Not defending him of course - god forbid - us girls have to stick together but at least he helped not hindered when he got in!!

My DH is on nights tonight so a MN night stretches ahead of me!! DS feel asleep on the way home from my Mum's (I've been at work today) so I haven't had a cuddle from him. I've also got a DD (who is 6) and we've done her spellings and read her book and now she's off to bed too. Talk later hopefully!

x

magnolia1 · 13/09/2005 19:32

Ta, dropinthe will Cat you.

Kbear: I see the same kind of night for me too

Original poster
dropinthe · 13/09/2005 20:07

I must say,when DH takes the boys away for a night I love having a drunk MNet night ahead of me-its when I start silly threads and talk a load of nonsense!

OP posts:
Original poster
dropinthe · 13/09/2005 20:24

Lonelymum would agree with me on that one,eh?

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hunkermunker · 13/09/2005 21:01

DIT - have replied

Passionflower · 13/09/2005 21:51

I have an underactive thyriod. In fact it doesn't work at all anymore.. Sort out your thyroxin dose it will change your life.

Whenever DH pisses me of I remember that he put up with me before the thyriod was diagnosed. And believe me he put up with a lot!

It is also important to know that pregnancy and childbirth can drastically effect thyriod function. Please please go see your GP.

Big hugs

Original poster
dropinthe · 14/09/2005 13:29

Thank you all-feel a bit better today and hopefuly seeing the quacks on Friday.Bought some St John's Wort today and resolved to try and keep myself as healthy as is humanely possible when you don't give a flying fxxk about yourself!
Thanks to the people that CATd me-I'm going to respond very soon-it was great to hear from you.

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Lonelymum · 14/09/2005 13:33

Aw dropinthe, this is not like you? Sorry to see you down though it happens to the best of us! Sorry I didn't see this earlier. I have been off MN the last couple of days (well, mainly!) as that Vaunda thing got me fed up.