Keep falling pregnant despite contraception

[nup]

I'm in my 30s and not ready for a baby yet. I'm completely at my wits end with contraception and feel totally hopeless about the whole thing. It's really getting me down.

From my mid teens, I took various pills for a few years, which I got on relatively well with, apart from 2 unwanted pregnancies (despite taking them perfectly).

My doctor said I might have a hormonal issue, so I tried multiple copper coils. I had so many issues: several rejections, a punctured uterus and then 2 pregnancies.

I moved on to natural family planning, which worked for me for a few years, until eventually I fell pregnant with that, too. I switched to condoms for a few months, but fell pregnant again.

After so many years of non-hormonal methods, I tried taking the mini pill a few months ago, but suffered with very serious depression and suicidal thoughts, so I switched to a different pill, but had ultimately the same experience.

It's been 2 weeks since I stopped taking the pill and I'm feeling better already, but I just don't know where to turn now. I don't want to try any more hormonal contraception, I can't bear the thought of being depressed for another few months through choice. I'm desperate not to get pregnant again, and I feel like I'm out of options.

Does anyone have any recommendations? Even my doctor doesn't know what to suggest.

"I feel extremely confident that whenever I'm ready, I'll have a baby 9 months later."

Oh if only it was that straightforward.

How is it the same? It's a valid question. Somebody losing a wanted baby is very, very different to someone terminating pregnancy after pregnancy, using abortion as a form of contraception. Frankly, that's appalling.

Abortion is there for when contraception fails.

What does it matter if it’s one abortion or 20 abortions a woman has in her lifetime?

But honestly for the purposes of this conversation, I don't think it really matters. I'm only 31. I'm desperate not to keep falling pregnant. I appreciate your words, but they don't hold any meaning for me. I have the opposite issue to most people. I'm hyper fertile.

This isn't true any more because now they remove a large part of the tubes.

I just had it done with my c section two weeks ago, didn't have to push for it at all, all the consultants thought it was a great idea. One even said well done, more women should consider it in general, in her opinion

Neither of the situations you describe apply to me or my situation so I don't think that they're particularly relevant here.

Oh that is such a shame you had a bad experience with the copper coil.

I am the same, I fall pregnant so easily even on contraception, and anything which includes hormones really affects me mentally. I've had the copper coil for 7 years and it is the only thing I haven't fallen pregnant on.

I have four children and have had four terminations. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful but just wanted you to know you're not alone!

VASECTOMY

Surely just avoid sex for 7-10 days during your fertile window and outside of those days, just to be on the safe side, use a condom. To have 6 terminations is horrific!

Oh gosh, it's so simple! Thank you for your input, you're a life saver!!!

Would you consider sterilisation?

It does. You're contraception is continually failing so you choose to terminate repeatedly knowing it will likely happen again.

Only once I've had a couple of kids. In my previous posts I mentioned I'll probably have a bilateral salpingectomy during a C-section if the doctors are on board when it comes to it. But I need 2-3 years of contraception in the meantime that will actually work for me.

It sounds like you skimmed through my OP, got a bit worked up and had to start posting before you read through it all properly. It's disingenuous of you to suggest that by using contraception I am effectively not using contraception and bringing unwanted pregnancies upon myself. That's a ridiculous take.

I'd stop humble bragging and double up on contraceptive methods. Do you really need a bunch of women to tell you that's the best solution. You might be very fertile (congrats) but you're not particularly bright!! Good luck trying to avoid an outcome that MANY women on here might have prayed for and not got - and well done for rubbing lots of their noses in your misfortune!

Diaphragm and spermicide.

It's literally the family planning board. What do you expect?

Comparing miscarriages to abortions is disgusting! Not comparable on any level. I struggle to understand how anyone could deal with the mental toll of so many terminations when a couple do want a family at some point?

Hogwash. Miscarriage and termination are one and the same: the end of a non-viable pregnancy involving the expulsion of a cluster of cells.

Sometimes the body decides, sometimes the mind decides, and both decisions are equally valid and moral. Stop trying to make women feel guilty for choosing to rid themselves of unwanted cells that are no more "a baby" than was your latest bowel movement.

Oh dear. Ignore that, OP.
This is the family planning board, as you say.

Please speak to a local family planning/sexual health clinic it's possible they've seen this before.

I worked at a clinic where a young woman kept getting pregnant on multiple types of birth control - including LARCs. They will probably be able to offer other forms of prophylactics.

Your partner should consider not ejaculating in you along with using other forms of BC to reduce the risk.

A lot of women have terminations, you can see it all on the computer when you work in the nhs unless they’ve specifically asked to hide it from everyone but the GP.

Theres no need to get all frothy over it.

Stop trying to make women feel guilty for choosing to rid themselves of unwanted cells that are no more "a baby" than was your latest bowel movement

That's a terrible comment.
Women who have had miscarriages do not need to read awful comments like that.

You shouldn't be looking at personal information like that.

She already got pregnant with a condom. And on the pill and with an IUD and with tracking. You haven't discovered sliced bread.

Hogwash. Miscarriage and termination are one and the same: the end of a non-viable pregnancy involving the expulsion of a cluster of cells

Termination doesn't involve a non viable pregnancy.