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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Original poster

Missing school for training

50 replies

extremelydullname · 02/11/2023 14:00

DD(10) is a competitive gymnast. We've always been happy for her to miss school ad hoc for competitions, regional training etc - she finds school pretty easy and there have never been any issues with her falling behind as a result.

However. Her club now want her to miss school on a weekly basis for training. I don't want to have a conversation about the absurdity of the training hours for young gymnasts - this wouldn't have been the sport I'd have chosen for DD but she chose it, she loves it, she does well. I just want to hear from other parents who have had clubs (any sport) make the same request, how you dealt with it and what the upshot was. I don't know any of the parents of the older gymnasts at her club who are already doing this so thought I'd ask on an anonymous forum instead!

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GU24Mum · 02/11/2023 17:27

We've had a few friends who have done competitive gym training. While the hours are gruelling, they haven't been in school time so it sounds odd. Surely the whole squad isn't going to miss school on a weekly basis. Mind you, gym is crazy!

IglesiasPiggl · 02/11/2023 17:35

The only people I know who miss school for training are those in the academies of professional football clubs. Is there a chance for a career out of this, or is it just a normal gym club?

Opihr · 02/11/2023 18:27

I work across several schools and know of students who miss an afternoon weekly to go to gym.

The schools have authorised the absence and the kids in question are doing well both at school and gym.

blabla2023 · 02/11/2023 18:32

Mine does - however, he misses one hour of PE, and does his sport instead. He doesn’t miss any other subjects.
As he hates football, rugby and hockey with a passion its a win/win situation.

Original poster
extremelydullname · 03/11/2023 13:36

Definitely no career on the cards.

@blabla2023 Are there any kids in your DS‘ club that miss this training session because their parents won’t allow them to miss school and do they manage to keep up ok with the sport? The problem we have is that DD would be missing something in class that we really don’t want her to miss. We are getting put under a bit of pressure from some coaches at her club (not others).

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blabla2023 · 03/11/2023 14:04

@extremelydullname its a 1 to 1 session, so not a problem (and planned to be at PE time). I wouldn’t allow him to miss academic subjects regularly, and I don’t think school would be keen on that either!
Condition is that he tried hard at the PE time he has left, so he actually learns more than before (he absolutely hates ballgames)

horseymum · 03/11/2023 14:05

I have a child who is at a high level in music and I wouldn't let her miss a regular afternoon of school. I don't think I would do it for gymnastics unless they were on a performance pathway eg realistic British team selection. Surely there are enough hours outwith school time? I know gymnastics has a huge amount of training hours but you can't guarantee you will make it and need a good education. If they are serious athletes, some are homeschooled to fit in. It's tricky navigating these things.

Original poster
extremelydullname · 03/11/2023 14:14

@horseymum Oh I completely agree with there are plenty of hours in the week outwith school and that education is the most important thing.

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Original poster
extremelydullname · 03/11/2023 14:15

Sorry posted too soon! I completely agree with you!

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Original poster
extremelydullname · 03/11/2023 14:16

DH and I both in complete agreement that education is the most important thing. Actually the lessons she would miss are not academic (that I would be very happy to catch her up with at home) but things that we can’t really offer her - think art, drama, music. It’s an unfortunate clash!

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Whataretheodds · 03/11/2023 14:18

I was a semi-professional musician as a teenager. I didn't miss any school until I was in 6th form and even then it was minimal.

Have you asked the coaches why they have scheduled a session in school time and asked them to move it out of school hours? They can't think it's workable for 10 year olds to miss school weekly for a local club.

how are the other parents responding?

curaçao · 03/11/2023 14:25

I think you would be absolutely barmy to allow it, and i very much doybt the school would either unless she was at international level.

Original poster
extremelydullname · 03/11/2023 14:52

Lots of other kids do it already, DD is being moved up into a new training group. So lots of parents/schools don’t have an issue obviously. This group is either on performance pathway or expected to be - a couple of them are Commonwealth hopefuls though most are just likely to represent the region at UK wide comps. So talented but not professional by any means!

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Mumofteenandtween · 03/11/2023 15:09

My 13 year old dd is ranked in the top 3 for her age group for her sport in the country. (So I get it!)

Completely different sport with far more sensible levels of training. (She trains 5 times a week on average with 2 prescribed rest days.)

Have you asked the school if they will authorise it? Dd’s school will only authorise time off for national level events. If it would be unauthorised absence then that may be enough to help you make the decision.

Have you talked to the coaches about it? How many in the new group do this extra session? How many don’t? Why does it clash with school hours? What other options are there?

Most importantly though - you need to get an honest opinion on how good she is. If she has a decent chance of representing her country in the future then that is one thing. If not then I would not be keen to mess up her education / childhood so that she can one day represent the “South East”.

taxi4ballet · 03/11/2023 15:16

My dd used to miss school from time to time, and it was put down as 'educated off-site' but they were things like one-off performances, exams, auditions and the like, and I thought your post was going to be something like that - competitions etc. Having time off school for that sort of thing is perfectly reasonable.

But what your dd's gym teachers are asking for is ridiculous.

FrippEnos · 03/11/2023 15:23

Its definitely do able.

There are lots of pupils that have paid music lessons within the school day.
I have known pupils have a day off to go to sport academies where the main school teacher sets work or gives a tutor the subject module for them to do at set times instead of the sport.

The only issue could be that she night get additional homework to do so that she can catch up with the lessons.

In the end its all down to the school.

ReverendBlueJeans · 03/11/2023 16:02

Why are the club scheduling training for school-age children in school time?

Original poster
extremelydullname · 03/11/2023 17:14

There are lots of pupils that have paid music lessons within the school day. Actually that is a very good point, she already misses an hour of class each week for her instrument!

We don’t want her to do it, I guess what I was really hoping was to find parents who’d been in the same position and the decisions they’d made for/against (obviously one parent on here has helpfully explained their decision, thank you) and how that had worked out. Why does the club do it? Because they can, I suppose. It seems pretty standard in elite gymnastics - DD has met girls her age from several other clubs at performance pathway training who have been doing this for a year or more already.

@Mumofteenandtween Oh how I wish she’d chosen a sport with a more sensible level of training! Her brother has and i am very grateful for it! Not really sure why gymnastics is like this, if none of the clubs did it then none of them would have to IYSWIM…

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chocolatemissmarple · 03/11/2023 17:48

My DD13 does something a bit like this. She has to leave school early twice a week (so missing one lesson on each occasion) to travel to dance lessons. The lessons themselves are not timetabled for school time, but she needs to leave school early because of the travel time.

The school are very supportive in allowing her to do it and it's been working well for the past year (started in year 7, now year 8). I think they just mark her as 'educational activity off site'. We do vary the days week to week so that she doesn't always miss the same lesson (and the school operates a two-week timetable).

Her marks haven't suffered, and we support her at home to catch up with any missed content. The quality of the dance classes have made the whole thing absolutely worth it.

Hope that helps.

horseymum · 03/11/2023 18:16

Music lessons in our school are 25 minutes and rotate through each period of the day so you don't miss much. ( we do ours out of school though) A club specifically timetabling a session in school time is different to occasional competitions or a national training day. Which I would absolutely let them go to. I guess it's balancing whether she feels comfortable with catching up on work and missing things being taught for the first time. The school may have good supporting resources. Good luck making a decision. My DC has had to make plenty of choices like whether to miss parties for extra lessons etc. They have to learn to navigate it with your support.

Lonecatwithkitten · 03/11/2023 21:00

My BFs daughter missed first thirty minutes of school and the last 30 minutes every day from year 10 every day to end of year 12, she was on British swim team pathway in run up to 2020. They only made the decision to miss school when it was clear British team was a realistic option and she was achieving well at school.
She had to be super organised to get all her work done.

thirdfiddle · 04/11/2023 09:55

Aged 10 - year 5 or year 6? I wouldn't have a problem. With all due respect, it's primary school, they're learning to learn rather than any particular knowledge beyond basic reading/writing/arithmetic. And in terms of learning to learn, doing elite level sport is going to teach her more than school is - focus, concentration, challenge to her limits etc. Unless there's any particular skills she's struggling with that she'd be missing, I'd say go for it.

But also be ready to reevaluate at the beginning of secondary school when they are starting on subject pathways and building subject specific skills much more.

Bunnycat101 · 04/11/2023 16:41

I wouldn’t be doing that unless an international level was viable. When my youngest used to do pre/school gymnastics we’d often see some of the older girls who were about 11/12 missing school for training. They had a realistic chance of a national team place but it seemed a hell of a lot of work. One of them seems to have made the England squad for their age group, the others not up there. It’s a hell of a commitment and only a few will make it. Even then, you only have to look how precarious it is for the elite international athletes re risk of injury taking them out.

TreesandRug · 06/11/2023 11:26

My DDs gymnastics has girls turn up around half one, so they go to afternoon registration first and aren't technically missing school.

My daughter was offered more hours but turned it down (I was relieved to be honest). I do think if you turn hours down it's sort of the beginning of the end. Not that you still can't keep doing and enjoying gymnastics but that there's a certain number of hours they want girls doing at a certain age and if they aren't doing those they're on their way to rec. classes. My DD is 12 and does a couple of hours a week rec. class now alongside a lot of other sporty activities.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 06/11/2023 17:08

DD does something similar on the music side - can't be done outside normal working hours.

I schedule it all for holidays, half-terms and then grab any part day where school finishes early. She often needs to leave a bit earlier to get there, but school are extremely supportive and she's down as educated off site.

However this is a school with a lot of very high level athletes and academy footballers, who are asking for far more time off for training and competitions, so they are exceptionally happy about accommodating weird schedules and helping insure that catch up happens.

I would advise picking secondary school with care - we knew we would need time out along the way and it was a question I asked every school I visited. DD's positively embraced the possibility and were able to give me multiple examples of current students with similar needs, but a couple of schools were a firm no before we'd even filled in the CAF. Most were not sure how to do it but were interested to be flexible.