Missing school for training

[extremelydullname]

DD(10) is a competitive gymnast. We've always been happy for her to miss school ad hoc for competitions, regional training etc - she finds school pretty easy and there have never been any issues with her falling behind as a result.

However. Her club now want her to miss school on a weekly basis for training. I don't want to have a conversation about the absurdity of the training hours for young gymnasts - this wouldn't have been the sport I'd have chosen for DD but she chose it, she loves it, she does well. I just want to hear from other parents who have had clubs (any sport) make the same request, how you dealt with it and what the upshot was. I don't know any of the parents of the older gymnasts at her club who are already doing this so thought I'd ask on an anonymous forum instead!

Thanks everyone for input. I think we will give it a miss this year (Y5) and see how it plays out. Her timetable will be different next year anyway.

@TreesandRug Yes… I know what you mean. I hope it’s not the beginning of the end quite yet but nor do I want it to be the only thing in her life. I don’t think she’d happily go to a rec class but maybe to one of the less elite competitive classes.

My cousins dd have up aged 12 when they started this nonsense, she's good just wasn't international level good.

I guess it depends how long and how often they’re wanting her to miss. I teach and have a boy who leaves 40 minutes early one afternoon a week for a sport and he doesn’t miss too much. If it was anymore though it would get more difficult to manage. he’s also confident and quick on the uptake so not worried about him not being able to pick up anything he does miss, some children I’d be more concerned about.

If she doesn't do the extra training, surely she will not progress as fast and not move to the next level, or be replaced by a child who will? Of course that might happen amyway, and it might not be a bad thing. What will her future gymnastics be if she doesnt move up? If shes still going to have fun, great, but if she spends the next 10 years thinking "I couldve made it" thats not so good.

I think Id probably let her do it for a term or two, if school ok'd it. But shed have to absolutely love gymnastics, be super hard working at it, etc.

My daughter missed school a few times to perform in musicals and dance shows but each time we had to apply to the local authority for a licence. Also the occasional drama/dance exam.

For sport I would expect only elite children on a national pathway to be expected to do this.

Why are the club scheduling training during school hours for school age children?

High level gymnastics requires two things:-

1. A huge number of hours training
2. A highly specialised (so incredibly expensive to run) gym

Practically everyone who trains in gymnastics is aged between 4 and 18 with the vast majority in the 7 - 12 range. (I did a little bit at university but very few did and my poor 19 year old body felt every day of its age!)

So everyone wants the gym in those peak 4pm - 9pm hours and then at weekends.

The only way they can increase the hours available is to eat into school hours.

@Mumofteenandtween - thanks for taking the time to give your insight. I come from a competitive swimming background- it's the same for clubs trying to access swimming pools also used for learn to swim lessons, families and lane swimming etc. Swimmers train before and after school to get their hours in- early in the morning: a 6 am start is not uncommon, and sometimes up to 9pm or later at night as these are the only hours they can get pool hire. Then there's gym on top.
I don't think it's necessary to miss school, even for gymnasts, and i think it's wrong of the clubs to put pressure on parents and children to do so. Gymnastics does not have a good reputation for looking after children- and this sort of thing contributes to it.

Yes - swimming is very similar to gym in the need for specialist equipment and the huge number of hours required. Except swimming also has to compete with adults like me who like to swim lengths from 8pm - 9pm on a Tuesday as well!

I don’t know why gym doesn’t do early morning sessions. Maybe because it is skill based rather than endurance based and requires the kids to be fully alert for their safety while you can plough up and down a pool even when exhausted.

Agree about gym not looking after kids. I have a few stories to tell and I wasn’t even all that good!

I think you have to decide if you want your daughter to progress. Realistically, like posters above said, she won't be unless you agree to this schedule . I don't think missing a bit of school-run art/drama/music is really going to harm her education and she can always take those subjects up outside of school if she wants.

My daughter dreams of a show jumping career and although the hours of training are a lot less crazy than gymnastics, it still takes over our lives. Sometimes the sports training has to come before school.

The thing is @XelaM she doesn’t want to do it as a career. It would be different if she did.
I also disagree on the art/music side: she’s talented in these areas and they are very much not mine and DH’s talents/areas of expertise. I think it’s hugely important that her education is well rounded - the academic stuff is easy to cover at home but we can’t give her access to an art studio, a range of instruments, etc…

My daughter and 3 of her friends on the compulsory pathway all missed school once a week for training.

All quit now. One with a serious injury :(

Seriously, with hindsight I wouldn't bother. Those extra 4 hours did not make the difference when they did grades and competed. We were simply pulled into the 'grooming' nature of gymnastics where you simply accept the hours and what needs to be done. It doesn't. Although having said that, you turn it down, that's the end of her gymnastics journey anyway.

Come back in 5 years and update!

Seriously, with hindsight I wouldn't bother. Those extra 4 hours did not make the difference when they did grades and competed.

Thanks @suitsmetoo, this is exactly what I’m wondering about! How much difference it will make when they do so many hours anyway…

It’s ludicrous that a sport would require children to miss school. It would be a big fat no from me. DD is on the national team for her sport, and has only ever missed one day of school, that was to take part in a training course overseas. She will miss 2 days of school next Sept to go to the European Championships. Other than that, all training planned to allow her to get an education too. It’s incredibly stupid and selfish of a gymnastics instructor to require a child to miss school on a regular basis, and I’d be questioning who benefits more from this - your DD or the club?

I was a competitive gymnast
I missed one day of school a week ti train
My parents said the second I fall behind it stops which I never did
Very grateful for them
Best years of my life
In high school I remember some of the less academic children got to go one day a week to do sports so it made even more sense for me to miss a day then
The choice is yours though

Just to let you know i passed gcse and a levels without picking up a book and then went on to do a degree. It did not impact my schooling on any way. But again the choice is yours and only you know if your child can and will keep up.

What I will say though is those who are competitive gymnasts are usually competitive minded which means they aren't willing to fail in any aspect of their lives including school

In fairness some sports require a lot less training or training at a more reasonable schedule, but gymnastics is one of the sports that requires insane commitment.

@XelaM I must count myself lucky DD only does an equestrian sport that takes up about 20-30 hours a week of her time then! I still think a sport which routinely disregards a child’s education time is not one which shows sufficient respect to the child, and is therefore one which needs an eye keeping on what other boundaries it feels is ok to overstep the mark with.

There were several girls in DD’s class at primary who were going to be the next big thing in gymnastics at 10 years old, who by 12 were either burnt out and desperate to leave the sport or were cast aside by their club. Not a healthy environment whichever way you look at it, and I certainly wouldn’t be taking my child out of school for such an unhealthy environment.

Dd swam competitively and from age 10 was expected to train at 4.45am twice a week, as well as 5 evenings. We hated it and always said if it affected her schooling she would have to stop. She only missed school once for an overseas competition.
If we hadn’t agreed to morning training she would have lost her place at the club.

It sounds like you have a similar decision, does she want to commit to this extent in the hope of getting to the top level? Does she want to just enjoy the sport but accept dropping down from competition level? Does she want to try it whilst still at primary and reassess at secondary? And will her school and future school allow it? It is such a young age to commit like this.

Dd swam until after GCSEs then dropped down to a local club. She ( and I) don’t regret it as she learnt a hell of a lot of life skills and gained confidence, as well as making her still best friends (26 now).

There were several girls in DD’s class at primary who were going to be the next big thing in gymnastics at 10 years old, who by 12 were either burnt out and desperate to leave the sport or were cast aside by their club. Not a healthy environment whichever way you look at it, and I certainly wouldn’t be taking my child out of school for such an unhealthy environment.

This was very true in swimming. Several young strong girls who then got overtaken as others grew or others had better strokes either gave up or were pushed out. If you hadn’t reached certain levels by 12yr you were thrown out.

My daughter does show jumping 😃I don't know how lucky we are really 😂 I think it's similar hours as you mention - 6 days per week (after school and weekends).

But gymnastics and figure skating (and maybe dance) I think are sports were it's impossible to get to the next level unless you start super young. I know in figure skating (for girls in particular) they have to start extremely young and it's not really possible to master those skills post-puberty if the technique wasn't mastered beforehand.

@XelaM our horses have to be able to trot 45km and pass a vetting at the end of it - the fitness training alone entails hours each week! Hillwork and gallops, plus we need to school over XC jumps regularly. Bit more fitness than showjumping requires - even our SJing instructor agrees!

Wow our ponies are definitely not that level fit! And thankfully mine only does XC recreationally during the spring/summer. I couldn't watch her compete XC 🫣

What I will say though is those who are competitive gymnasts are usually competitive minded which means they aren't willing to fail in any aspect of their lives including school

This is very true. My daughter is super focused in everything that she does. I don't know if she got that from gymnastics or she was that was inclined anyway and it made her successful at gymnastics.

From experience of having a very similar child I am firmly in the camp of “they are who they are”.

Dd was screwing up drawings in disgust (“it’s not perfect mummy!”) at the age of 3.

Oh, absolutely DD is a high achiever and incredibly focused in everything she does. I don’t really think you can be even remotely successful in gymnastics unless you have that hyper focus because the training is frankly very repetitive! As I said upthread, I wouldn’t actually mind her missing any of the pure academic stuff at school. It’s the enrichment which her school does so incredibly well (and was part of the reason we chose it in the first place). Anyway; we’ve said no for this year and the head coach has supported us in that. Her timetable will look different next year so we can reassess then.
It’s been helpful reading all the input, thank you.