So, I've not cycled for years. Last year decided to take up cycling, chose a lovely mountain bike from my local independent bike shop. It was nice. It waa comfortable. The saddle didnt make my tail bones cry. And it was purple. 
Then DH persuaded me that it would be a waste to buy new, might not use it, bla bla bla. Ended up buying a second hand one from a local guy who claimed to be a bike mechanic.
Well. He wasn't. First time out, 1/4 mile from home and the mis-sized seat post collapses. Badly fractured knee, fractured elbow, week in hospital, months on zimmer and crutches.
But I've decided I need to try again not least because my dd was with me at the time. I'm not getting back on the heap of shit and I'm not risking second hand again so I've signed up for my works cycle to work scheme. I have up to 600 to spend on a new bike but it has to come from evans.
Can anyone help me work out wtf to buy, as it's like a foreign language! I will mainly be using off road cycle tracks and a bit if town cycling but I'm a bit scared of going for anything with narrower tyres than a mountain bike as I'm pretty nervous now. Unsurprisingly...
I'm about 5'5 with relatively long legs and short body. And, well, I'm not exactly light either - size 16. Keep seeing female so if u mtb which are tuned for the lighter rider. That Ain't Me
Can anyone help a lost wannabe cyclist? Apart from not causing broken bones I'd ideally like something vaguely attractive maybe in purple or pink but I realise that's a long shot and not that important.