Westministenders: The Truth Isn't A Made Up Concept

[RedToothBrush]

“In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”

Not George Orwell but often attributed to him. But a powerful statement with resonance nonetheless

The old adage was never truer:

• This place is full of bloody idiots.
• This Great Nation is full of bloody idiots, and they have a right to be represented.

With their average age and most being somewhat pudgy from the subsidised bars & restaurants,
I hope their social distancing is adequate.

We don't want Westminister reinfecting London either.

Some of them are really struggling with walking and talking, aren't they?

Ask them the time and they forget their name.

And that was the amendment. Now we get the substantive motion, when the previous No's are now Aye's and vicey versey.

How many of them will that confuse?

I'm not sure Mr Speaker has a scooby doo what's going on!
Some poor old duffer is going to die in that queue

Stephen Bush @stephenkb
One thing this new system of voting does is significantly increase the theatre of rebellion, which may disincentivise it but also might encourage it.

I mean you're really getting your moment in the sun with a rebellion now.

First rebels: James Gray and Dan Poulter.

I've decided I'm actually hugely pro this system.

Harriet Baldwin.

Really all this needs is dry ice at the entrance to the chamber.

Robert Neill, rebel no. 4.

I think this is a brilliant system. In the last parliament you needed a majority to gum up the works. Now you just need to call a division.

You wait ages for one and two turn up at once: Caroline Nokes and Jeremy Wright.

This seems like a pretty good way to kill off traditional Commons divisions in the longterm to be frank.

No. 7: Jack Lopresti.

Sheryll Murray, the first ever woman to represent South East Cornwall, rebels.

Mark Garnier, rebels.

Really hoping this passes, might do a fact for each rebel in future divisions.

Robert Largan, 2019 intake, does his first ever rebellion. The first first-timer of this new system

Martin Vickers rebels. Typically, the second I decided I liked this system, it became unpopular. Andrew Selous rebels, too.

Jason McCartney brings it up to a baker's dozen. Need 44 rebels to defeat the government.

I had missed three: Redwood, Watling and Collins. Also Grey Clark. 18.

Craig Whittaker rebels. Peter Bone rebels. We are at 20.

Crispin Blunt, 21.

Anne Marie Morris makes it 22! Now that really is a in a woodpile.

Love this system: the hilarious indignity of an MP voting to keep this system but doing it wrong. Deeply concerned that there are definitely enough plausible rebels left that it may be defeated.

Clifton-Brown and Tugendhat bring it up to 23.

Andrew Percy 24.

Missed a couple: Ghani, Loughton, Brine,Crouch bring it up to 26 rebels.

So I think that passes but it's hard to say because there's a hidden number (MPs pairing because they're self-isolating).

Should be like T20 Cricket. They should walk on to music of their choosing.

Is this a sneaky IQ test for MPs ?

Its an eyeopener isn't it?

Graeme Cowie@woodstockjag
More than 200 MPs absent.

So something resembling attendance would probably have taken more than an hour?

You can tell which dickheads can't manage going through airport security quickly and efficiently can't you?

Nicholas Watt@nicholaswatt
Turns out Jacob Rees-Mogg is a unifying figure: MPs from all sides united in agreeing that the “Mogg conga” voting is a farce. MPs snaking round passageways and courtyards of Parliament not knowing which vote they are lining up for

One member of the shadow cabinet says: I don’t know what queue I’m in and for which vote. All I know is that Jacob Rees-Mogg is getting an earful as he queues up

Former Tory cabinet minister says: I’ve never seen anything quite so bizarre in my life. This is like a speeded up rehearsal for a lying in state

Could it be JRMs dastardly plan backfired ?

I might even tune in to TV news, if we're to be treated to him grinninly slightly sickly saying how marvellous it all is.

Hancock is doing the briefing solo this afternoon

Hancock is doing the briefing solo this afternoon

The tricky third album ?

Tom Peck @tompeck
Over on your BBC Parliaments they’re all wandering through the commons, stopping, saying their name followed by “no” or “aye.”

Aye means yes, by the way. Which doesn’t make it to the Top 100 Most Utterly Ridiculous Things About All This

Agonising inefficiencies already clear to see. There is one queue, which then divides at the front for “no” and for “aye.”

But far far more “no” votes than “aye” so one line remains almost empty.

Split votes would be quickest. Theresa May’s Brexit deal would have taken years.

“Andy McDonald. Aye. Never seen anything so ridiculous in my life.”

You absolutely love to see it.

I swear some of these Tory MPs have been round about eight times now. Either that or they all look exactly the same.

“Jeremy Corbyn. Aye.” Then Jeremy Corbyn pauses just in front of the TV cameras for a little whispered chat in someone’s ear. Absolute legend.

“Name and how you’re voting.”
“Liz Truss South West Norfolk. No.

Bet that got a few laughs on her wedding day.

Aaaaaaand having spent an hour and a half voting on the amendment to the new voting, which they all knew was going to lose, they are now doing it all over again, for the main motion.

Flat out stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.

They should blatantly do this for the Ask The Audience lifeline on millionaire. Imagine the tension.

Anyone want to bet that a couple of days of this and the system gets changed as Mogg gets told to change it anyway because of a behind the scenes mutiny over it.

Nicholas Watt @nicholaswatt
One former Tory minister tells me: What a complete farce. Are there any satirists around to capture this?

Hancock is doing the briefing solo this afternoon
Oh should be interesting then. Have Vallance and Witty told him to sling it again?

Music Choices:

Won't Get Fooled Again
We're On A Road To Nowhere
I Would Walk Five Hundred Miles
Do You Know Where You're Going

....Etc

Hannah White @DrHannahWhite
The government has taken a fully functioning digital voting system which took 15mins per vote in which all MPs could participate and replaced it with a queuing system taking 45mins per vote in which only 2/3 of MPs can participate. Not a great advert for government effectiveness.

Nicholas Watt @nicholaswatt
But a supporter of Jacob Rees-Mogg defends the system. “Don’t let anyone decry this. It is working. We have expected the rest of the country to queue up for months. So why shouldn’t we queue?”

Oh btw, Trump's photo shoot with the bible is VERY concerning.

Can someone purleeeese speed up the video for this and team it with Black Lace "Congo" music?

PARLY@PARLYapp
Stephen Crabb voted no, realised his mistake, then went to the other side and said no. Registered as an aye

They are going around again.

I have nfi whats going on.

Red neither do they🤷🏻‍♀️

Red DH suggested they're confirming whether they want fries with their BicMac

They are going around again. I have nfi whats going on

You are Stephen Crabb and I claim my £5

They voted down the amendment and so now they have to vote again on the main motion.

Now if they'd voted for the amendment, they would then have had to vote for up to three further amendments.

And they will have to do this for every vote and every amendment until Mogg is strangled with his own catguts prevailed upon to reconsider.