In any event, we are negotiating. The meaning of this is we have some aligned objectives, some differing ones. We agree on the aligned ones and compromise over the differences, with both sides having ‘red lines’
Having a series of red lines that May had, meant any negotiations would be limited.
Without these, we could have left the EU and had an agreement similar (but unique to the UK) to EEA/EFTA, we would have fulfilled the requirements of the referendum, without too much damage.
Instead, May pandered to her parties demands and we are now facing economic hardship, a chaotic brexit and damaging the fragile peace in NI.
On top of that, we are going to threaten and try and ruin european economies too, anyone who thinks uk/european relationships (on a country by country basis) will survive brexit is wrong, neither side is going to forgive the other.