"Er, the Leave side won - shouldn't they be the ones reaching out to us?"
They don't need to reach out to you because they won. History now unfolds according to their logic.
Those who wanted a second referendum, and for the outcome of that referendum to be convincingly Remain, needed to get out door-knocking from the day after the last vote. Instead, there is a kind of attitude that says 'I'm not sullying myself by speaking to such people - I will simply sit in my house and whine to anyone who will listen on the internet'. It's a very odd concept of being politically effective, to be honest, and not one that speaks of very much experience of activist politics at a local or national level. Remain's major failure in this whole thing was not to seize control of the political discourse in a way that made any convincing sense to Leave demographics. They didn't really even attempt to reach across the divide in many cases.
In a democracy, everybody's vote counts. Which is why you can't hide behind your gated community, in your fortified house, sending your kids to posh schools, socialising with only middle class people, and frequenting only middle class places and always expect to have everything your gilded, golden way. Because those your life excludes still matter, and if you build a society that is deeply unequal, they will come roaring back against you.
(I voted Remain, btw).