When do you think it will feel better?

[FlopIsMyHero]

I know lots of you will want to say: "get over yourselves already", but please be kind (or say nothing!).

But for those of you for whom this is genuinely devastating, emotionally, morally, practically (if you or partner is non-British), or job-wise - when do you think it will start to feel better?

I'm waking every morning feeling as if, yes, the sky has fallen if, or as if I've experienced a personal bereavement.

But it's not like losing someone you loved and dealing with their absence.
It's like someone moved in who is shouting abuse at my children and I can't make them go.

unmumsnetty hugs all round

Sorry spouse, you're completely right and I didn't mean to sound insensitive as I appreciate its nothing like the grief of losing a loved one really - that's just the only other time in my life when I've felt this similar form of long-term shock, sadness and angry, so that's where my comparison came from.

I mainly meant to say it's not one loss or event which is over and can be just ignored now. It's a continuing wave of feelings and they'll be around for some time.

But even though I'm scared and sad, the shocks will pass. We will all hopefully get through this, however it turns out, and best-case scenario, maybe we'll live in a country where we're not as unwittingly complacent about the poorer, disenfranchised voters or their needs anymore. Maybe we'll fight racism better rather than driving it underground. I'm not sure but I'm hopeful. We have to have hope I think, but that's easier said than done.

all.

Working for a european company theres no escaping the subject. I went out for a long walk with v good friend earlier and felt better for a while but I actually am still really cross.

It's gonna take years. As bertiebotts said, it's exhausting, i have wondered if i'm going down with something, but i think it's just the waves of awfulness washing over me.
I'm telling myself it is what it is and p'raps something better will come of it, but i can't see how with the same (in effect) people 'in charge'.

I now am just saying to people in rl that i dont discuss politics purely as I dont want to fall out with my own relatives! Its horrible, like a bad dream.

Nothing will ever be the same again.

Leavers are delusional. The amounbt wiped off the economy in just a matter of hours was equivalent to 40 odd years of EU contributions.

So the whole thing was a pile of shit.

And those who voted Leave should be ashamed. But what they have done is irreversible. They have wreaked havoc on us all, and half of us (almost) never asked for this yet will be expected to pay the price as if we did.

I think we're going to end up needing a Resistance movement. It feels like being at war and the very people my dad and grandad fought for years of their lives, to keep from running this country - now run this country. Or will do.

OP, I'm exactly the same. Don't know, I guess we have to move along the 7 steps of grieving process (I'm at an 'anger' stage, currently).

My biggest problem is that I have been through the break-up of one mighty country before (no prizes for guessing which one), only there it just happened, not been voted for (well, it sort of was, but not really). Also, we had hope that it would be better 'magically overnight'.

Well, it was not pretty at all. Not AT ALL. I could go on and on about it, would not help to feel optimistic, though.

It'll be with us for a while, and I don't know if it will get easier. It's been a pretty seismic event, the ripples will go on for years.

It feels better for me already, I have lived through Blairs choices and a weight has been lifted from me, that we will not be subjected to the madness any more.

Blairs choices directly affected my life, it could not have got worse for me. So I feel much better.

They have wreaked havoc on us all

Life has been havoc for me and many like me for years due to the madness that is the EU. Sorry you feel your in chaos now, maybe now you can empathise with leave voters?

RainYourRottingMyDhaliaBulbs

What did the said havoc caused by the EU entail?

Rain with all the best will in the world, could you take a look at what I've written about my children and toddle off to a more appropriate thread, like one that's not actually full of grieving people?

Thanks

pippi
Just leave it alone, hopefully if we ignore it it will go away.

I just feel incredibly sad that the uk isn't the tolerant place I thought it was. I'm still angry so avoiding all the 'leavers' I know in rl and I've stopped following them on Facebook.

When the referendum is overturned on the basis of electoral fraud seeing as the public was so woefully misled!

drspouse

heyevent.uk/event/d72ipmth6gcsma/march-to-parliament-against-brexit

Am going on this march on Saturday if anyone us interested....

denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance
I am still ANGRY, fucking furious. Where are you?

I think I've gone full circle and am back to anger...

I feel the same, OP. I'm so sad and so angry.

I'm still in a state of utter disbelief and shock, flop. I wish I could just 'get over it' but I also feel similar to you.

I'm irrationally angry about it - that a load of rich right-wing utter bastards have hoodwinked this country into leaving, with such appalling lies and such a cynical, dishonest campaign. I feel like something has been taken away from me and (particularly) my children - and now the country is in turmoil.

When I'll get over it, I don't know. As to when the country will get over it - Adam Smith says at least a decade - but even then, we have no idea if things will be any better than on June 22nd.

I'm taking some comfort from watching Brian Cox wonders of the universe. It's giving me a higher context to view the planet from, and reminding me of the small time frame ŵe live in.

*Adam Smith Institute, not the man himself, obvs.

I've spent the last 6 days feeling various waves of shock, despair, disgust, worry, gloom etc. Am a British citizen living in another EU country. Practically everyone I know, both Brits here and friends/family back in the UK voted to Remain. My FB feed is full of hundreds of incensed people, and I haven't been able to stop watching/reading the rolling car crash that is the news.

Finally today I am starting to feel a bit less despairing about it all. Having done (even more) reading, it struck me that it is surely inevitable we will end up staying in the single market and therefore surely inevitable that we will have to accept freedom of movement and all the other EU laws and regulations that we currently abide by.

I don't think anything practical will change for people like me, living abroad, or EU citizens in the UK.

It seems fucking pointless to leave the EU under these circumstances, but there you go. Hopefully the fact of technically having left will appease the Leave-rs, and this wave of vile racism and xenophobia will burn itself out.

The only thing I worry about is that a lot of Leave-rs may NOT be at all happy when they realise their vote has had no effect on immigration, and that that could lead to more unpleasantness. And also, how long the UK economy will take to get back on its feet and how many are going to suffer in the mean time.

But ultimately, I am starting to come round to thinking that although this whole thing has been a pointless waste of time with some horrific short term effects, in the medium to long term things probably won't be as bad as we think.

Of course none of this will be any consolation to people suffering racist abuse / job losses etc in the here and now...

I could maybe understand it better if it had a rational explanation. Even if it wasn't one I agreed with, I could come to terms with it if it had a rational basis. I do find it hard that a bunch of people have come along and taken a sledgehammer to my life - which wasn't particularly wealthy, but was predictable and rolling along quite nicely and quietly - for no rational reason and apparently to no great potential gain for them. I didn't think this would happen in the uk.

Last year I read 'the guns of august' by Barbara Tuchman, which is a really gripping account of the months leading up to ww1. It was gripping even though I knew how it was going to end, but what was striking was the randomness of it - the series of events, none of which, each on their own, necessarily signalled disaster - don't know where I'm going with this except that we do tend to just bumble along assuming everything will be just fine, but actually this is the longest period of peace for a long time. I can't really wrap my head around the fact that this seems to have been put in jeopardy just because a random group of mps got exercised over the jurisdiction of the European court of justice over, say, holiday pay, or working time. It just makes no sense to me.