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Ethical dilemmas
Original poster

Found out something about my friend

226 replies

frankiesamson · 26/01/2019 03:55

A good friend of mine I've known for over a decade, whom I see almost every day, who supported me through some of my life's toughest times & I don't think I could have survived without her... and vice versa, opened up to me tonight about something apparently no one other than her has ever known about.

I promised her I wouldn't judge and that she could tell me anything.

Then she told me: during her divorce many years ago (her husband left her for someone else), her husband was out on a date with someone else & she felt so desperate she wanted him to come home to her. In order to get his attention, she told him their pet guinie pig had died (a lie). He agreed to come home.

So that he wouldn't discover the deception, she killed the pet. She was so ashamed she never told anyone.

How would / should one react?

OP posts:
NicolaStart · 26/01/2019 20:46

MN is full of people killing spiders for no good reason.
Putting down mouse traps.
Etc.

Beaverhausen · 26/01/2019 20:49

As an animal lover and someone who is arachnaphobe and I do not kill spiders or ants or slugs.

To me that would be a no deal, killing an innocent pet is not on.

bobstersmum · 26/01/2019 20:49

Crazy woman! I worked with a woman who was merrily telling me one day that over the weekend her pet rabbit was very poorly and was also old, so she laid it behind her car tyre and reversed over it! I could hardly speak I've never forgotten that.

CandleConcerto · 26/01/2019 20:55

This is clearly just you sensationalising what she’s told you. You’re not a great friend.

BlueSkyBurningBright · 26/01/2019 21:04

It would not bother me at all. She was obviously going through a very difficult time and felt she had to do this. It is bit odd though.

MondeoFan · 26/01/2019 21:16

Wow I'm totally shocked. That is a real desperate person.

Bluntness100 · 26/01/2019 21:58

I think it's clear we are split into, fuck no, game over, you killed the family pet, and meh, it's irrelevant, it's all about you and your distress, and neither side will meet....

grenadezombie · 26/01/2019 22:00

Interesting how so many people think it's ok and she was just desperate. I bet if the tables were turned and a man had killed the pet there would not be a single person on this thread who didn't call him a cunt. A selfish cunt at that.

RebelWitchFace · 26/01/2019 22:10

Bluntness you forgot the "yeah it's shit and utterly fucked up,but a decades long,strong,supportive friendship is worth more" side.

Bluntness100 · 26/01/2019 22:18

Rebel, that's true, I just guess I don't believe that side exists,

In reality, I don't believe anyone is as ok with killing thr family pet, as they are making out on here, but sadly you never know, it's as sick as it gets.

mirialis · 26/01/2019 22:33

it's as sick as it gets

well it's obviously not and that is a really feeble cop out. No one is saying 'meh' or 'happily' accepting the situation but you keep telling them they are because you've backed yourself into an unreasonable position and will never admit you needed to see something from a different perspective, and you know it.

Mookatron · 27/01/2019 00:23

See I think it's split into those who think they can say 'I would never...' and those who think extreme situations and emotions make people behave in ways they would never have expected.

Plus anyone who says 'I won't judge whatever it is' must've led a v sheltered life!!

Dowdydoes · 27/01/2019 00:34

I am an animal loving veggie who loves her pets. Under pressure people can do awful things but you know she is a good person so she is. No one is all good and few people can’t do awful things in the right circumstances. I would acknowledge how it’s hard to reconcile with the her you know and to appreciate what a state she must have been in at the time. I would get this deleted

Lovingbenidorm · 27/01/2019 00:41

Ffs it’s got nothing to do with being a vegetarian!
This woman killed a small helpless animal in an attempt to get her DH attention.
That is fucked up

QueenofHarts · 27/01/2019 00:59

The women killed the family pet to back up her manipulative story about it dying in order to get her partner home. Does it matter if it was 10 years ago or 10 days ago? Which ever way you look at it it’s pretty fucked up rationale. Not normal!

InSightMars · 27/01/2019 01:04

I would never promise not to judge because there are some things, and this is one, I know I can’t help judging. I get she was desperate and probably not in her right mind and I’m very sorry for anyone going through so much emotional pain but, no matter how good a friend, I just couldn’t get past this. I could never look at her the same, I guess that makes me hard and uncaring, but it would be a friendship breaker to me.

OrigamiZoo · 27/01/2019 01:08

Family pet, not just any animal. who has been loved and who trusts in return. Kids in grief... I'm appalled. I would strongly suggest psychotherapy.

dellacucina · 27/01/2019 10:12

Mookatron it's funny, traditionally criminal law actually accounts for the idea that a person driven by emotion could commit an impulsive 'crime of Passion's and this is considered a mitigating factor.

KittensAndCake · 27/01/2019 10:14

She's an imaginary sick bitch and I'd have nothing more to do with her.

Butchyrestingface · 27/01/2019 15:19

Mookatron it's funny, traditionally criminal law actually accounts for the idea that a person driven by emotion could commit an impulsive 'crime of Passion's and this is considered a mitigating factor.

Isn't that usually when the victim is the very person who's been pissing off the perpetrator?

Doesn't really apply in this case. OP's friend took her rage/distress/spite/whatevs out on a third party.

mirialis · 27/01/2019 21:41

Wow OP - when you posed this "ethical dilemma" did you imagine it would get as far as a lawyer discussing the mitigating factor of a crime of passion and another poster's response referring to a guinea pig as a "third party victim"?

dellacucina · 27/01/2019 21:46

Butchyrestingface I wasn't saying it applies here, just noting that western civilization has for years recognised that a person under emotional duress can do something unpremeditated and possibly uncharacteristic.

dellacucina · 27/01/2019 21:47

I am laughing out loud, mirialis

Bluntness100 · 28/01/2019 09:51

Well the op has not come back, so either a troll or this is a reverse and she's the one who killed the pet and told her friend...and didn't get the reaction she hoped for.

Trolls usually interact though...

Butteredghost · 28/01/2019 20:57

In reality, I don't believe anyone is as ok with killing thr family pet

Saying pps are OK with it is a bit strong, they don't think it's a great idea. They are mostly saying they are horrified, but also seeing the bigger picture which is that most of us have murdered animals in our house daily - sometimes 3x per day (breakfast, lunch and dinner).

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