Found out something about my friend

[frankiesamson]

A good friend of mine I've known for over a decade, whom I see almost every day, who supported me through some of my life's toughest times & I don't think I could have survived without her... and vice versa, opened up to me tonight about something apparently no one other than her has ever known about.

I promised her I wouldn't judge and that she could tell me anything.

Then she told me: during her divorce many years ago (her husband left her for someone else), her husband was out on a date with someone else & she felt so desperate she wanted him to come home to her. In order to get his attention, she told him their pet guinie pig had died (a lie). He agreed to come home.

So that he wouldn't discover the deception, she killed the pet. She was so ashamed she never told anyone.

How would / should one react?

@WomanWithAltitude true, actually no animals used for food or research are treated humanely as humane means compassionate or benevolent and so wouldn’t involve killing them.

Presumably if you eat meat, that involves the slaughter of innocent lambs, cattle, poultry etc. Or is it somehow different because you don't see all that nasty stuff going on and by the time your succulent piece of flesh is served on your plate, all the ghastly business of killing it is somehow so far removed, you don't have to deal with.....

I eat meat and yes, I am far removed from the process. But even then, there is a difference between killing your pet and the meat trade. I agree both animals are innocent, but it's no where near a comparable situation.

@LunaLunitaLunera oh thank you! I was expecting to get roasted (vegans normally get a hard time on mumsnet, even on the vegan board sometimes!) so a nice post was really appreciated

Or is it somehow different because you don't see all that nasty stuff going on and by the time your succulent piece of flesh is served on your plate, all the ghastly business of killing it is somehow so far removed, you don't have to deal with

So in your view, if we are ok with eating meat, like most of society is, we should all be ok with randomly killing any animal, including the family pet, as and when we feel like it and fo any reason that takes our fancy, bad day, kill the cat, why not we are having steak for dinner, boyfriend dumped you? Slaughter the puppy, why not, it's pork for dinner.

I refuse to believe anyone is this idiotic.

Haven’t read the full thread as saw it became a meat eating debate but...fucking hell. I’d never be able to see her in the same light. She intentionally took a life to suit her social life. That’s inexcusable. And before anyone asks, no I don’t kill spiders, insects etc. It would set alarm bells ringing for me, it’s psychopathic and most murderers start off killing animals before moving on to humans.

All these 'I can't look at her the same', 'she's a killer', 'I couldn't be friends with her' posts. Very odd to me. You would give up your friendship for a furry rat? How many of you have employed exterminators to kill rats and mice? Or used poison?

I would be more concerned that my friend was in such a desperate place that she killed the animal.
I wouldn't abandon her and the fact that she's so remorseful that she can't bare to think about what she does tells me she's not a psychopath the way some posters are suggesting

All these 'I can't look at her the same', 'she's a killer', 'I couldn't be friends with her' posts. Very odd to me. You would give up your friendship for a furry rat?

No. But I would give up my friendship if my 'friend' turned out to be sick enough to kill their own pet for absolutely selfish and unnecessary reasons.

How many of you have employed exterminators to kill rats and mice? Or used poison?

It's not comparable. Not sure why you think it's is?

It's not comparable. Not sure why you think it's is?

I suspect the poster knows the family pet is not comparable to vermin, but for some reason think it's cool to be idiotic.

Killing something as a means to make yourself temporarily feel better emotionally does not remotely compare to killing something for physical survival or to remove a health risk. The former is seriously unhinged.

Killing a family pet for attention!? That is truly psychotic. Sick sick twisted woman.

Not only would I disown her as a friend, I would also inform the ex and the RSPCA. That woman should not be allowed near animals again and I would also be pretty wary allowing her around children!!

Keeping rodents in a cage in your house is ethically dubious in the first place.

Just because some people choose to turn rodents into pets doesn't stop them being rodents.

The only reason GPS don't pose the same public health risk as rats is their domestication

Frankly I find ending a friendship over this 'dilemma' idiotic

OMG 😮 I have no other words

Well of course they are rodents, that's clearly not up for dispute, what is being said is they are not vermin, which is what you were effectively reducing them too,

And as much as you can be happily friends with someone who would kill the family pet for attention, please don't call the rest of us idiots because we would not. We have our red lines, animal cruelty is one of them, but you fill your boots.

she's not a bunny boiler
she's a guinea pig guillotiner

We have our red lines, animal cruelty is one of them

the red line isnt animal cruelty
the red line is cruelty to animals in the 'animals that we agree not to be cruel to' category

when we decide it would benefit us to form an emotional bond with an animal we call it a pet and treat it with kindness

If we want to enjoy the pleasure of eating meat we decide that the animal is just a commodity and we butcher it

Not only would I disown her as a friend, I would also inform the ex and the RSPCA.

You forgot log it with 101. The fuck is RSPCA going to do ?

Just because some people choose to turn rodents into pets doesn't stop them being rodents

No but it does make them pets.

That is pretty shocking. I had quite a chaotic upbringing and a difficult lat teens and early twenties so I know a fair few people who've done very dark things.
I think people can behave very strangely under pressure and when in extreme distress. I think you have to look at the bigger picture. Who do you feel she is? Is she someone you previously loved and trusted? Has she done anything else like this? Etc etc I dont personally feel you can judge people based on one act in thier life alone.

do you know anything about the method of slaughter?

Fucking hell 😮

OP, this is a very outing thread. I'd have it deleted tbh, or it'll end up in the Daily Fail.

as much as you can be happily friends with someone who would kill the family pet for attention, please don't call the rest of us idiots because we would not. We have our red lines, animal cruelty is one of them, but you fill your boots

Firstly, no one has said anything about "happily" accepting this situation; the reason being, that someone who does this (not that I necessarily believe this is a real situation) is really, really not well. This is also not someone who's been anything but giving and supportive in the time the OP has known her. As such, my concern is far greater for the friend confessing this than for a pet rodent.

Blutness - do you remember the story when the OP's friend had faked a pregnancy and taken it to a massive extreme (even buying a fake test for the boyfriend) and you were berating people for saying the OP with a newborn should have nothing more to do with her because clearly anyone who acts like this is clearly unwell and needs support and empathy from the friend, not rejection...?

Oh yeah, unless she killed a guinea pig and then the bitch can get to fuck

Neither story is true anyway.

I'm guessing she was a bit out of her mind in light of the affair, but what else might she have done for attention?! What if she had children?! Someone who goes out and intentionally murders their pet needs to seek therapy. I would immediately distance myself from her.

Jesus Christ that bitch is crazy

She would be dead to me from that instant of telling.

Fuck 'I won't judge'. That was before she admitted killing a defenceless animal for attention.

Actually, maybe not quite from that instant.

I'd collect any pets she had first and look after them myself for their own safety. Then she'd be dead to me. Assuming I managed not to deck her during the process of walking out.