My elderly father has become insufferable. He was a terrible father growing up and we had a strained relationship. He was an abusive alcoholic and eventually separated from my mum when I was in my early teens and then finally stopped drinking many years later.
He is now old and infirm and lives alone after separating 12 years ago from his 3rd wife. He lives in sheltered accommodation which I arranged after being evicted from his rented private property due to it being hoarders paradise and the landlady having enough. I have been present in his life since his divorce and checked in on him periodically. Since moving into his sheltered accommodation a year ago he has declined and has a couple of falls and has become a lot more dependent on me. I have a brother who refuses to have anything to do with him due to childhood trauma and I absolutely understand this as I was there and received the same if not worse treatment. I very much resent my dad and feel like I have been burdened with his care.
He is currently having carers attending twice a day however he usually sends them away and is quite aggressive towards them.
He has sent messages to his ex wife threatening to unalive himself on many occasions and she then calls me to see to him. Today I went to see him with the doctor as he had a fall at the weekend and I was concerned with the gash on his head and he refused medical help. He is drinking again and tried to lie about it saying it wasn't his (no one else has been to his flat)
I find his drinking massively triggering for me and it has brought up a lot of childhood issues which I wasn't expecting. I am at my limit with him and am seriously considering cutting all ties. He is exceptionally manipulative and I very much dislike him. Am I being a terrible person cutting ties for my own mental well-being? Should I continue being present for him ?