Helping elderly parents with heating controls

[Needtosoundoffandbreathe]

My parents, in their 80s, are struggling with their heating controls. They've recently had the traditional pin circular timer on the fairly new boiler (it's maybe 2 years old) and separate wired in thermostat replaced with a digital controller and thermostat in one because they couldn't get the heating to do what they wanted it to. I had to go round at short notice at the weekend because the heating hadn't come on.

Well it wasn't on because the temperature in the house wasn't below the temperature the heating is set to come on at. They had the boiler on the incorrect setting too so it wasn't communicating with the controller. Anyway, I demonstrated correct setting and showed them how to manually put the heating on when they need it.

I've now realised there's a fundamental lack of understanding of how the thermostat works. Added to which, 21 or 22 degrees is not warm enough for them. I feel like I'm going mad because I've suggested turning up the setting to 24 or 25 degrees if they're not warm enough, but there's a reluctance to do this, which I think is because they're worried they'll get it wrong and either break it or get a huge gas bill. I'm going to have to go round again (50 mile round trip. I work full time in a demanding job and my sibling is 200 miles away) to change it. It's a two minute job.

Does anyone have any tips for how to deal with this? I think a large format display controller would be helpful as both were struggling to read the controls. Maybe they should get something like Hive and I can control the bloody thing from a distance? It's not even particularly cold yet.

That was long!

Definitely a hive or similar then you can control it.
(I had similar with the TV remote. Over an hour round trip ti press a couple of buttons)
I know it means you are then ‘responsible’ for their heating - but it will save you so much frustration being able to sort it rather than trying to teach them to use it.

Thanks. I feel like I'm in a twilight zone. My dad just has never understood anything electronic going back years and my mum is worried she'll mess things up. I'll ask my BIL for suggestions. He's a plumber and heating engineer, but lives 200 miles away!

Good luck 🤞 😆

If anyone has any suggestions for cheaper alternatives to Hive Id be grateful to receive them.

I've told my mum what is needed, i.e. increase the temperature setting, but she now has had enough and doesn't want to even try. So frustrating.

They might be better with a separate thermometer in the main room so they can see how warm it is rather than having to just trust it?

It's hard for them potentially if what used to be warm enough no longer is. Do they have enough for the heating bill - is this an emotional difficulty rather than financial?

Can you video call them so that you can see what they’re doing and talk them through it?

If it’s app based can you control (support!) from your phone?

We had a wireless one for my FIL. He had it set to 26 degrees!! Fortunately he lived in a very well insulated bungalow so the heating usually only came on for 3-4 hours a day to dt the temperature up. It was really easy to operate...we used it via the Google home app.

We have a Heatmaster Neo system
with an app. I can use it to control the heating in our house as well as parents.
I don’t know if it is any cheaper than Hive though. My very techy DH set it all up.

I had a Nest which I loved but after Google took them over they ran down support for them. I’m now with Tado which allows you to switch between properties as needed (think you can have up to 10 different addresses in the one app).

It defo feels like his skill set to sort them out with the hive / apps.

They have just that. It's a Bluetooth heating control with thermostat and a built in thermometer so it displays the temperature of wherever it is. I ordered a pack of small thermometers earlier which are being sent to them so they see what the temperature is in different places around the house. And hopefully put the controller in the coldest place until they turn the thermostat up to a temperature they're comfortable with. DP pithily said to me, "tell them to stick the bloody controller in the fridge if they want the heating to come on [even when it's warm enough for it not to be needed]!"

I could try and was going to attempt talking mum through turning the settings up, but only she does tech and she'd struggle to put the call on hands free and show the heating controller. She finds the laptop a faff (because you have to turn it on and wait for it to boot up) and her phone screen too small to be easy to use. A tablet may be the answer, but everything is just too difficult at the moment. She also has no patience, even though there's no real pressure on her time if it does take a while. It's exhausting. What should be simple becomes a drawn out drama.

I've done a lot of tech support over video calls when I didn't want to make the road trip.

They're not poor. They have a gas fire in the living room, heated blankets and throws. Double glazing, cavity wall insulation, carpets, curtains, they shut internal doors. The reality is that what is a normal room temperature for many people is not enough for them to feel warm. When they come to our house I have to remove myself to the kitchen, wearing a vest top in winter because the living room is on boil (25 degrees or more!) with the TV blaring so they can hear it and you have to shout for them to hear you.

Definitely get a device which lets you control it from a distance. I wouldn’t bother with trying to get a new device they can see/understand better, because … they won’t. I know you say this kind of thing has never been in their wheelhouse, but there may also be some cognitive issues at play. Either way, at least this is something you can do remotely. Good luck!

What about a little fan heater or similar in the room they sit in.
They won't be particularly cheap to run but they don't need to know that and they can flick it on and off at the wall.
I find I feel the cold in the evening so need the heating set higher, less in the morning but if it's wet out it feels colder and if the sun shines some rooms are warm thanks to sunshine. So I sympathise with your DPs.

I suspect if you weren’t on call, one of them would soon figure it out, (unless they have dementia which you haven’t mentioned).

My mum has a thermostat that she carries around with her. She's been known to put it in the fridge to make the heating come on.

They don't need a fan heater, they have a gas fire they are happy to have on when the heating goes off so they are only heating the living room.

Since Saturday I have found that my dad doesn't understand how a heating system with a thermostat works and that 22 degrees just isn't warm enough for them. It definitely isn't (now) that the heating isn't working.

No - my dad just doesn't get this kind of thing. My mum could probably figure it out eventually, but she'll just find ways of making it come on instead of addressing the issue as she'll be worrying she'll mess it up. Neither of them show any signs of cognitive decline.

I'm not unsympathetic btw, but they agreed to what the engineer did and it's not what they need in terms of the temperature setting. Then they misunderstood the bit about the setting on the boiler in order for the separate controller to work.