Cockroach cafe - Spring to Summer 2026

[FiniteSagacity]

New thread for us all to gather and have tea, cake and something from the stronger shelf as needed.

Keeping the cockroach name in honour of those who have graduated the thread in spite of the suggested thread names!

What a pain @BestIsWest . My mum has her denosumab at the GP surgery, but has to first book and get blood tests, then get the surgery to order the injection to the pharmacy, then pick it up and take it round to the surgery for the injection. She doesn't get a prompt or reminder for any of this so I have to put it in my diary. Both are within 5 mins walk of her house and she is fully mobile but the logistics are complicated for her as she is losing short term memory fast. I have to say her GP surgery and pharmacy are good, they see her quickly when needed and seem to do a thorough assessment (she shows me her NHS login notes afterwards) and she is now getting regular check-ins with the social prescriber. I wish DF was still registered with them, his CH is only up the road but is with a different practice so he has had to change.

@ElderlyDilemmas what a pain about the reminder. Thankfully the District nurses did the blood test. She used to have the jab at our local community hospital five minutes away but the nurse there retired. It’s completely bonkers if you ask me, apparently the GP surgery has to sign up to something called ‘shared care’ and ours hasn’t.

Glad to have you guys here for support 🙏
My dad has gone onto palliative care.
All our lives are up in the air, trying to juggle everything, taking things one day at a time.
Dreading work's reaction when I let them know I won't be in next week (I was already off this week with leave as it happened). They were hit and miss when my nana was ill/died. Faux empathy and an unpleasant appraisal on my birthday, as if the whole thing was my fault because I didn't keep in touch daily - what was I meant to say daily? "She's still dead?"
Got good support from family and friends and appreciate you guys being here, sending hugs and strength to all xxx

That DM's GP is useless is nothing new. She has had the same one for years and has been unhappy with him the whole time but small town and no choice.

This isnt the first time the GP has done something neglectful. Some months ago he switched DM's diabetes medication which resulted in a very severe hypo and hospital. The thing was, DM had the same thing before on the same medication. GP too lazy to read his own notes.

I know that most GPs are good but it is frustrating when you get a bad one who is lazy and doesnt communicate.

Just an update guys. My dad died today. Got family here. Just having some quiet time with the pets. Thinking things over.
He went peacefully xx

I'm sorry for your loss @jellyfish798

Condolences @jellyfish798. A peaceful end for our loved one is what many of us hope for. It’s comforting even through the grief. Wishing you strength to deal with your workplace as they don’t sound good.

Sending best wishes - hope you get some comfort from his end being peaceful.

Condolences @jellyfish798 .
Hope someone at work has "been there" and will be, if not helpful, at least appropriate.

I’m sorry @jellyfish798. Take care of yourself.

I'm glad your dad died peacefully @jellyfish798 and I'm so sorry for your loss.

@jellyfish798 condolences💐. I'm glad it was peaceful and hope that helps you come to terms with it.

@jellyfish798 Condolences in your loss. Wishing you strength for the days ahead.

I am sorry for your loss @jellyfish798.

I’m sorry too @jellyfish798

I’m so sorry @jellyfish798 - I’m glad it was peaceful and hope your work are more supportive than before 💐

@GnomeDePlume that is terrible - repeating the medication that gave the bad reaction, but the not communicating even more. I did camp out in the nursing home on the day the GP comes and I think that was worthwhile. Thinking of you still in the trenches of caring and having the challenges of advocating.

@jellyfish798 condolences.

So it looks like golden balls is trying to force mum into a care home regardless of her wishes/needs because now I'm not talking to him he can't bark orders at me. I'm not against her going into a home. I actually think she would be happier in the right home. BUT (there's always a but isn't there), golden balls hasn't visited any homes. He's picked the cheapest one that always has a high vacancy rate (which says a lot). It's one of several I have visited and it was one of the 2 that I wouldn't never want mum to go to. Not just poor activities but the standard of care I witnessed was appalling.He knows that and he knows exactly why I said it wasn't suitable. She also has no needs yet that can't be met at home. And the bastard has sole POA.

God how frustrating for you. 😬

That is awful @countrygirl99 , cruel and mean to choose somewhere because it is cheap.

Do you suppose he is doing this to force your hand in some way?

Yes. This could be the reason.

Do you suppose he is doing this to force your hand in some way?

@countrygirl99 I agree with this - in the light of what you have said previously, I read your post thinking your B is trying to provoke you into reacting and getting in contact. What an arse.

I think you are all probably right that he's trying to force my hand. But I'm having a chat with an acquaintance who manages a care home about how best to handle this. Some of her suggestions could badly backfire on him. It's a question of how nuclear I want to go. I'm seeing mum in a couple of days and I'll decide my approach after that. Acquaintance is in another part of the country so she has no skin in the game.

Does your mum still have capacity to change her POA?

@Choux no, sadly well past that stage. Only really got it done in the nick of time and it was me that was pushing my parents to set up POA. I knew he would treat it as a power thing and tried to get them to do joint and several by arguing it's a big responsibility for one person and what if he's on holiday or ill himself to no avail.