Complete refusal to use technology

[Senttotestus]

My mum is 79 & a completely technophobic
In her mid 50s she resigned from her job as a Drs receptionist because they introduced computers. She worked for a few more years on a helpline then retired at 60
She has never sent a text message or WhatsApp
She has never sent an email
She cannot google anything
She has never purchased or booked anything online

A man from a tech charity for the elderly spent 2 sessions with her with no improvement

Over covid I told her she must learn to FaceTime & she has £1k worth of iPad for this purpose, she can also log onto her Halifax app to look at her balance - she cannot make any payments.

i do all her online banking, food shopping &
booking of appointments, she eagerly gives out my email address as if I am her PA

She has just rung to see where her Waitrose delivery is & she was unable to open the Waitrose app on her iPad - ITS 3 CLICKS - she presses everything with such force that most times the IPad thinks she is trying to move the apps around

I am accepting of this most days but today it just feels wilful that she has rejected all technology for over 20 years and thinks it’s acceptable to shrug and get me to do everything , laughing at any suggestion that she should be able to do some of these very basic things.

Rant over - deep breaths!! Anyone else in a similar position?

For many elderly people, the thought of technical things is frightening and overwhelming. We may accept it as an everyday thing, but they cannot see it. I know some elderly people who quite happily use smartphones, but then again, I know some younger people who hate technical things like phones. I know it is frustrating, but it's horses for courses, really. You cannot force your mum to use things if she is not happy doing so. She is probably frightened of pressing the wrong buttons and losing money or destroying the machine. Annoying as it is, I think this is something you are not going to win and forcing your mum is only making her unhappy

Agree. My father in law has an old style mobile but no internet or computer. However the difference is he is very self sufficient not asking others for constant help. He’s 88.

There are a few who think they are above it all. There was a thread the other day from someone who could sing some highbrow opera but said she „couldn’t“ use the self scanner.

The point is that there WILL come the time when there are no paper train tickets! So it’s best to get accustomed to e-tickets and the ticketing apps whilst you are young enough to get used to them. Otherwise you may be another who finds it difficult to adapt in years to come.

I can't see train companies turning away paying customers. That would be crazy.

More and more organisations are already doing it. Lots of attractions/events are now app-based for advance bookings only and don't accept "walk ins". Some bus companies are app only. Some car parks are app only. There WILL come the point where the train companies won't be able to justify the cost of staffing ticket offices nor the costs of ticket machines - yes, they'll lose "some" customers but there is always a "tipping point" where the extra revenue from potentially lost customers doesn't justify the cost of providing multiple booking options.

I feel your pain, OP. I bought my Dad (87) a new phone in the spring, set it up, put credit on it, and showed him how to use it. He hadn’t used it once and isn’t keeping it charged! My Auntie texted me recently and said that she was worried that she wasn’t able to contact him…she’d been leaving messages on his new phone. 😂

It’s frustrating.

@SupposesRoses Yes, the Morrison’s near my Dad offers phone ordering, you don’t have to order much either. Luckily he’s mobile enough to visit a really good Co-Op around the corner from his home and he enjoys poking around in there looking for bargains. All the staff know him. 😂

I’m a long way off old. Have children still
in primary school! And I’m an
avid user of tech, AI etc, particularly at work and enjoy trying new things.

But I find the e-tickets a hassle, especially when dealing with multiple tickets and a railcard for a family journey whilst trying to herd children on a train. I get round it by printing tickets out if I haven’t managed to get a paper ticket though.

You can print your own tickets, or print them for a loved one. Why would the train companies stop that?

Trains are different to attractions, they are a public service.

Exactly. I reckon the train manager checking tickets probably hate all the faff as people find their phone, find the app, find the tickets, find their pass, instead of just pulling them all out. I travel by train every week and the paper tickets are definitely checked faster. Not to mention the problem if your phone dies, I don't just mean the battery as my rather old smart phone decided to die while I was travelling. In the end I had to buy another ticket and when I got home went through a load of hassle to try and get a refund and only got a partial.

I was stood in M&S behind someone trying to pay with their phone today, it took an absolute age, not sure if she was perhaps looking for a voucher or maybe sparks card as well as pay. She was probably about 40ish but it would have been a lot quicker to use a paper voucher and pay by card

I have a technophobe friend - she's only 70 but she can only order books on Amazon, that's all. She can't email, still uses telephone banking, wouldn't have the faintest idea how to do shopping.

The way that I have found that works for her is to Write. It. Down. Every single step, in such painful detail that it makes you want to weep, (including 'press button gently. You will see xxxx pop up next. Go to the box that says 'name'. Type in your name.). My friend's big problem is the fear of doing something wrong and emptying her entire bank account, however much I reassure her that this is largely impossible, and having everything written step by step helps her to know that she's pressed the right button.

And if you write it down, make copies. Because they will put the instruction sheet down and lose it. Repeatedly.

But much less convenient. The vouchers are in the M&S app, no printing required.

I was adding all the various offers to my Sparks card when I paid today just in case they saved me some cash. Otherwise my Sparks card is in my Apple Wallet. If M&S automatically added the various offers it would be even quicker.

Well it's obviously not just the old that seem to not be able to use their phones, I would have thought anyone would know to just put them in the wallet but obviously not, she was taking absolutely ages. Even adding at the till shouldn't take that long if you had to do it.

I just ask Gemini to take me through step by step if I can't work out how to do something.

Depends on your phone as well. Mine is getting on a bit, wasn't a very expensive one and it has "moments" when it decides to freeze it go slow, other times it's fine.

The really annoying part about all the shopping apps is when you get into the store and find the metal roof means there is no phone signal!

Was this my mother?! I jest - she’s just proudly told me how she was ‘determined’ to pay with her phone at Booths, but it took ages. She even said ‘the people behind me weren’t very happy’, but the till assistant said “I was doing very well”.
If I’d been behind her in my lunch break, my blood pressure would have started to rise but, if she doesn’t try, she will not learn 😬

Sainsbury’s do offer a phone order system for those not online. Other supermarkets might as well. I pity the poor people who take the call from my 86 year old DM (she hasn’t forgiven them for sending her too big a box of shredded wheat) but she juggles those deliveries mainly for bulky stuff with Wiltshire Farm Foods and similar and taxi trips to the supermarket when she feels up to it.

Yeah i don't think that will ever happen lots of people still use physical tickets and I don't see that changing anytime soon

i am not very au fait with my phone, ordered an eticket by mistake, and then couldn't find it, the inspector locally was pretty unhelpful jobsworth and said they would check in london, they never check in london. i always print tickets now

You can put your tickets in your goggle or apple wallet but I still prefer just buying my tickets, even if im going a long journey i will buy them online then collect them from the station.

I just screenshot mine and then close phone so it's quick to show if asked.

Clever.