My mum was told she had probable metastatic cancer in three places in March she declined further treatment or investigations. She developed neurological choreiform sytmptoms but refused tests suggested by neurologist. She wrote an advanced statement saying she does not want to have investigations or treatment into cancer. Or be in hospital
A week ago she collapsed and is now in hospital. She cannot walk and has lost some speech. She had planned to take her own life, but left it too late.
I told them about the advance directive and that she doesn't want to know what's wrong with her. But now I think did she just mean the cancer and the brain thing? Is there anything else????
They put her on end of life pathway without telling her, I assume because of the advance directive. But what if it's because of what I said??
i visited today and She remembers doing the advance statement but now says I want to know what's wrong with me and what's happened to my speech. She said it three times so I told them and wrote it down. Nurse said doctors will talk to her Monday. I gave her the note stating my mums new wishes and they're putting it in her file.
I am terrified I have fucked all this up and that I should have told them to tell her before this.
I am in torment. The whole situation is killing me. I am now bleeding rectally which is probably from constipation as can't eat properly.
I can only visit every other day as she is an h9ur and a half away and I don't drive because of autism and visual processing issues I have had lifts and spent 500 in taxis. I have asked them to move her nearer to me but it depends on bed availability.
She's stopped drinking because she doesn't like the thickener they put in her coffee. She's not eating because she thinks she has but she hasn't.
I feel so guilty like it's all my fault.
Will they not give her fluids through a drip because it's end of life care? Dying of thirst is supposed to be awful.
Please help me.