Dad getting aggressive in care home

[Remmy123]

My dad is 77 he was an alcoholic and lost mobility so kept falling over .. spent months in and out of hospital, had carers that came but it wasn't enough he had terrible bed sores, feaces on carpet etc drinking all day

Hospital sent him to a council funded care home. He was in bed for months recovering (still none the wiser as to why he now can't walk) i thought he had dementia but he has put weight on and memory has improved so much so I don't think he has.

we got him an electric wheelchair and he thinks he can now do what he wants and go out alone.

he gets v rude and aggressive to the staff they have now banned him from leaving his room so he is now stuck in his room. He can't go to the lounge or restaurant downstairs.

he kd like this because he feels like he is being treated like a baby and has lost his freedom. It's not all the time as staff say he is really funny and lovely and so he volunteers.

i took him to the lounge yesterday and everyone had dementia and not with it at all and only my dad and one women had mental capacity.

my dad can't live alone and he can't live with me but he is calling me 6 times a day saying he is suicidal that he can't stay there. That they won't let him downstairs. Why can't he go out etc

I feel drained from this I am having a call with the manager as they can't leave him in his room

I'm worried this is it now fior tears and years until he dies stuck there with no freedom but he can't live alone!

not sure what I can do to make life more bearable and can only visit on de a week

thanks

I'd respond something like 'Thank you. My father retains no memory of these incidents and I would suggest that you refer him for appropriate medical review eg to the older adults MH team'

Hi OP, you don't need to do anything, the care home are just giving information. They are obliged to keep the person's next of kin informed of incidents and developments.

As previously said, it sounds like the wrong care home for him, they are unable to deal with his behaviours and they are now indicating they are concerned about keeping him safe. I suspect they may serve notice on him, at which point the council will have to source an alternative placement. There will be a care home which is better equipped to handle his behaviours.

I wouldn't reply to that. There's nothing you can do

Hi OP, you don't need to do anything, the care home are just giving information. They are obliged to keep the person's next of kin informed of incidents and developments.

Exactly this. They would also message you if he had a bad cough or wasn’t eating much.