DM has an inoperable brain tumour and is currently in a care home with a prognosis of 6 weeks to live. It came on so suddenly (in late April) and has been such a terrible shock to all of us. A week before she was admitted to hospital the first time, we were shopping for curtains!
The care home she's in has been nice enough so far, but she hates it. She was very independent beforehand and is now totally reliant on others, and I understand why she's so upset. Before the home she was in hospital for nearly a month. She's only 70 and was absolutely fine beforehand. (She's the youngest resident in the home by 20 years, which she's very upset about as well.)
She can't go home, she can't come and live with me. There's nowhere else for her to go, but she keeps insisting they'll move her to a hospice and give her something to make her go to sleep so she can just slip away peacefully. Obviously this would be the best solution but we've explained so many times that they can't do that, and every time she gets so upset.
She's lost the use of both legs, her right arm and says the left arm is too weak to use as well. She's also got bowel problems (always has done) and is terrified to eat in case it gets worse, so is living on cornflakes and soup (and things like custard) at the moment. She's also losing her eyesight because of the tumour.
I'm an only child and so it all falls on me. I've got a few people who can help and support (including DH), and go in to visit occasionally, but otherwise it's all down to me. She calls me frequently (which I don't mind!) because she's uncomfortable and distressed, but I'm not really sure what to do or say. Nothing seems to help her at all.
She doesn't want to press the call button, and says nobody comes when she does (they do, maybe not immediately), but she doesn't like it when I call the home and ask for someone to see her either! Says they'll get cross if we keep asking, even though everyone keeps reassuring her that they won't. She said one of the nurses shouted at her, but then changed her mind and said they didn't, so it's hard to know what to believe. She's always been a bit paranoid but it's through the roof now.
I'm trying to juggle supporting DM and giving my DC some semblance of a summer holiday, but it's so so hard and I feel like I'm drowning. DM, if she was her usual self, would want me to focus on them, but I can't just leave her. And yet I feel guilty that I can't take the kids out for the day in case she needs me to come. The DC know that she's very poorly and won't be going home or getting better, but we haven't told them how long she has left, yet.
Has anyone been through similar? Sorry if it's a bit of a jumble, my brain is fried.