All I want for Christmas is ... Power of Attorney sorted

[Mum5net]

For those whose DParents haven't signed POA , Christmas might be a 'window of opportunity' to have the dreaded discussion and suggest that EVERYONE, daughters and sons included, all do their respective POAs in 2024.

Don't spoil your Xmas because of it, but if your elderly parents shows willing, make it a New Year's resolution. An understanding that they will help file the paperwork at the start of 2024 would be a mammoth Xmas present to everyone. Some parents may give grudging approval. Some won't.

DF and DM were rigidly in the camp that said they would never need POA; nothing would happen to them. It's now 8.5yrs since DF died; 13 months since DM. While DM was in hospital under section (out of control dementia), DF had an accident at home which resulted him being in a coma for five days until he passed. DM's care decisions were therefore taken by her local Social Work team until we went through the courts and got Guardianship. She subsequently spent over 8 years in care homes... From June 2015, every financial transaction on behalf of my DM had to be receipted and recorded without fail and audited via the Guardianship/ probate process. We are hoping for probate to be granted in January 2024.

DH and I did our own POAs in 2015.
Looking back POA would have saved so much effort and so many posts on this forum ...

Seconded. It was a struggle to get mum to do hers, she was extremely suspicious and till the very last minute we thought she might back out. She was still competent and understood what she was doing, and reluctantly went through with it. I felt absolutely awful during all the discussions as if I was forcing her hand. It was the best thing she ever did for all of us, including most importantly herself, as quite soon afterwards she would probably not have been judged to have capacity. As soon as I picked up the reins I realised what a mess her affairs were in. The fact I had PoA meant I could sort everything out, although it took months and months of work and endless phone calls. We (son and daughter and partners) have also done our own.
Don't leave it till it’s too late!

My parents gave me PoA almost 10 years ago (when they were mid-70s). I have just had to activate it, which I have done with DM's agreement. Just to help them manage better. I am thinking that DH & I should activate it for our DC, while we are still competent & thinking about it, as they are both over 21 now (although not particularly responsible now, but hopefully they'll grow into it...).

I think when you reach a milestone birthday it should trigger a reminder that its never to early to sort out POA. (Not sure who should send it out though!) Education about Enrolling for a Pension and POA sort of go hand in hand. It might stop the 'You're trying to steal my money' arguments later on if people were more aware it is only triggered when capacity is lost.

oops, too early

Dh and I have just done ours. Dh was a bit reluctant, but the pil’s lack of LPAs was a total pain in the arse.

Mil was out of control with dementia, and had sole control of her and fil’s finances. I arranged for (paid handsomely) a solicitor to assess her as still being compos mentis. Otherwise it would have been a nightmare, having to involve the Court of Protection.

I believe Kate Garraway said she wished she and poor Derek Draper had done them as you never know when severe I’ll health/an accident will strike and you need to be able to act on someone’s behalf.

100% support this - and if you think you need one, get on with it as there are big delays between filing the application and it being registered. don't leave it as it maybe too late.

I agree wholeheartedly. I'm about to start the process of applying for guardianship for mum because she didn't do poa. Now she has limited cognitive ability and the social worker has advised me to apply for guardianship. It's going to cost me more than I can afford really, but I don't know what the alternative is. And my brother is no use at all

Should spouses need to do POAs for each other?

I have guardianship for my stepfather. I had to complete an initial financial assessment, then complete one annually accompanied by a year’s worth of bank statements and care home invoices. It’s not onerous.

The cost of applying for Deputyship is paid for out of the funds of the person you’re applying for. I went through a solicitor - it took 6 months and was straightforward. Once it was granted, I was able to access his bank account and pay the solicitor fees.

Yes, because say one has lost capacity and has accounts in their sole name, that money can’t be touched.
Me and DH have POAs with each other plus our adult DDs as attorneys.

Just been quoted £550 for mine. It'll need to wait.

Thanks, I'll make it a New Year's resolution to get it sorted.

You don't have to use a solicitor. It is £82 each if you use the government forms.

https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney

We did ours last Christmas by coincidence!

Dad was OK but more comfortable once we said we were doing ours too. We got a will.writer to call on us in the early new year and complete them all (inc wills for us).

They took about six months to come back registered.

*Soontobe60" thank you. That's reassuring

You can't use those forms in Scotland.
I'm going mad, trying to arrange my own and DH's so that our DC don't have any bother if we lose capacity.

But there is no template that can be used in Scotland.
We get pension credit and can't afford ££ for a solicitor.

My parents never did theirs. I found the partially completed forms amongst some paperwork after DF died. He'd never mentioned it to me or my siblings either.
DH and I thought about doing ours last year giving POA to each other plus adult DS as an additional/alternative attorney. We didn't get around to it although we did redo our wills.
It will definitely be on the list for 2024.

@Soontobe60 to be fair, how onerous it is depends hugely in the size of the assets that are being managed. My father's assets are considerable, and we have qualified for extra special watching from the OPG based on this alone. And of course, considerable assets often involve considerable costs and associated maintenance, all of which has to be recorded.

Trust me, my task, 2 and a half years into it, is huge and time consuming...

And I should add, it took me a full ten months to gain Deputyship, the costs of which are still being assessed by the COP. I used a solicitor who was excellent (very happy to recommend her by pm) and that did make it hassle free.

COP rarely awards health and care deputyships btw for elderly people. They retain that part and just deputize you for property and finances.

We did ours as a way of encouraging PIL to do theirs, but we now need to change so our kids have POA for us if the other of us can no longer make decisions. Will spring it on them this Christmas.

...Well it can be if you have to clear out, then rent, your DM's home to meet the monthly care home bills; deal with the ever changing tenants, and also have to re-home your DM when her care home is force closed with only 21 days' notice by the Care Commission ...

Trying to get my parents to get this sorted!

My late parents set up their LPAs when my father retired over 30 years ago. They were so sensible. The old fashioned LPAs could be used even before activation with certified copies and guidance from the solicitor.

£80 online. Just done ours. Dead easy.