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Elderly parents

My mother is refusing another service worker

55 replies

XmasStag · 03/12/2023 22:54

I had an issue a few weeks ago with my mother where there was a leak at home and she was ignoring it. I booked a plumber and I was going to pay but she ordered me to cancel him. It was so odd. It wasn't an issue of money and being worried about paying, I was going to pay. I think it was anxiety that a man is coming into the house. It is so odd. She's behaving as if service people are going to come in and rape her. She was never attacked like this before in her life nor were any of her sisters. It's just so weird.

Anyways there's no heating and I want to make fires in the open fire but she's paranoia about the chimney and in all fairness it's been a few years since it was cleaned so it will need to be cleaned. I searched online for a chimney sweeper. I had a chimney sweeper a few years ago but she has a general distrust on everyone and she never took to him. So I went to find someone else and she's ordering me to cancel him. It is so weird and she's being nasty.

I was trying to do a nice and good thing for use both so that we can heat up the home a bit and try and have a cosy Christmas.

She is saying because of the chimney sweepers location it's too far to bring him out to where we are but when I contacted him I told him of our location and he was happy to give me a quote and a date. His website states he services the county throughout too. But she's saying it's not fair to bring him out and she will find someone else closer. I caught her out on a few lies already this year and she hasn't a notion of finding anyone else closer and I already searched online and there is no local chimney sweeper.

Do I cancel him or ignore her and continue on with his booking?

OP posts:
XmasStag · 04/12/2023 17:28

I have a good mind to cancel the turkey and everything else too. We are due visitors next week and I have a good mind to take a step back, do nothing and just let them see what's happening. She has little organising abilities now any more and there's two rooms turned into a mess even though I had them clean in the summer time.

OP posts:
HalebiHabibti · 04/12/2023 17:36

Who are your visitors OP? I wouldn't cancel anything; it may be tempting but would mean they'd focus on you seeming petty rather than your mother's problems.

XmasStag · 04/12/2023 17:41

Ok, thank you. That makes sense. It's a sibling coming home from abroad. I am really hoping he's going to pick up on the issues that I am seeing at home with her. There is stuff that is just not right with her.

I suspect her focus will be on him for the Christmas while she shouts at me but as I understand it I think that will be showtime and a responsive reaction to being out of her routine.

OP posts:
blacksax · 04/12/2023 17:55

all my siblings live abroad

I'm not surprised they've chosen to live far away from her, and I think you should too. I remember a previous thread of yours. You're never going to change her, and there's no point in trying.

kalokagathos · 04/12/2023 17:59

Sounds like dementia. My aunt and my father in love presented exactly like that

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