My husbands mother has been ill for a few years but after some treatment is now mentally much better and living a good life in 3rd party care. She has a few properties which my husband shares trustee ownership of with her. One of the properties has already been sorted by the managing agent who did everything and let out. The other is a bit of a dilapidated old house, but is in an excellent location that she would like us to do up as a holiday let. I have somehow ended up with making all the decisions on this, new carpets, 2 types of hard flooring, sofas, side tables, dining tables, bedroom furniture, mirrors, console tables, electrical questions - new circuit board, new leds in all rooms, safety questions like blind cords being replaced in most of the rooms for child safety, dealing with all the safety regulations and so on. ive spent my days researching furniture, sending off for paint samples, carpet samples, floor samples, on and off the phone to curtain lady etc etc etc. Basically a glorified interior designer/project manager. There is a builder whos got the guys to do the work (electrician/plumber etc) but he still expects answers on all of these questions and my husband can help with some of them isn't great when it comes to other kind of stuff. When I raised the topic with my husbands mother and said "look you know I don't want to seem like I'm overstepping the mark here (which I do, as it's not my bleeping house!), is there anything particularly you'd like in the house, fabric wise for curtains, furniture etc" i.e. trying to get her to take some ownership she just replied "You're very good at this you decide". I suggested we get an interior designer she said no as it would be too expensive...when my husband complained about all the work required she said "i didn't ask you to do any of it" but, its his responsibility as a trustee to ensure what's in the trust is maintained. He wanted to sell it but the mother wants to make it a holiday let and he's agreed, neither of us realizing how much work is really involved.
To be clear this is a house neither my husband or I will have any financial gain from. I doubt we'll inherit it and the time that we want to use it will likely be booked up now as its becoming a holiday let (and hopefully a nice one once we are done doing it up). She was a house wife her entire life, never worked, the father was very successful in his work, and made all the decisions, paid all the bills etc, she would have just pottered about at home doing nothing if it wasn't for him. She is now in a place where everything is done for her. The father sadly passed away and fortunately she has been left in a very good position financially, but despite suggestions made, zero effort to gift has been made. As a result this has meant my family have provided a lot more. I respect that's her choice, but this is now starting to raise resentment in my husband whos basically taken over managing all of her affairs for free and now im afraid to say partly me as I feel like my good nature may be being taken advantage of.
WWYD in this position?