Small rant about lpa and sibling

[IncessantNameChanger]

Just ranting into the void. Asked my sibling to look at lpa forms last month, two weeks ago and last week. The realisation I'm on my own if I go ahead with it is hitting me. My sibling head isn't in this so I'm.hoping I can add them but not have to keep relaying info to them. It looks like my parent will refuse any treatment to extend their quality of life. Sibling is in total denial. They haven't read parents medical letters either. I know that's siblings choice but I do feel hacked off that I'm dyslexic and useless at forms and on my own with it all. My sibling isn't going to any help going forward are they? I absolutely spelt out that I needed help with it and it's always on the to do list.

I'm doing the lpa, I'm not discussing it further with anyone. My sister can sign it or not. if you put her on the form as joint attorney she’ll need to sign it. Maybe have a back up form ready with you as sole attorney if she’s not going to sign?

I think she will sign it as she thinks she wants to help and be involved. But the reality is that she's too super busy to be involved. She will sign it but I will do all the legwork. She won't ask, so I won't tell her either. She can carry on in denial. At least I'm not going to feel this level of hurt each time I'm.told something and she tells me it's wrong and actually it's all fine. I'm so over people telling me they care and are getting round to caring. It's been three weeks since I sent her the letter from the hospital and she is still getting round to reading them. I only have that offer of help. One day, one day, one day I'm getting round to it. So if I can't persuade mum to sign this health lpa as it's in her best interests then there's no one else to talk her around. My sister had agreed to talk about with her but again she is getting around to it. After two months. Couldn't even ask the question while on the phone to hospital of what's going on. That is fine. But why fuck with hasnt and pretending she is supporting me? Just be honest and say no crack on as your on your own. If she takes forever to sign it, she comes off. I will tell her she has a limit of two weeks to read and sign or I'm sending it off. I'm definitely just doing the health one first and everyone signs, only then doing the financial one.

If there's an attorney named on the form, they have to sign the form. You can't send it in with her name on it and missing her signature. Well you can but they'll send it back as being incomplete.

I know this is all too much but believe me when I say that the alternative is far worse. I strongly suggested that my sister in law sort out finance PoA for her mother (my mother in law) because she was starting to confuse the phone and the tv remote and I thought that the time to be doing it was running out. She said she'd do it, the next year when things had progressed beyond confusion it turned out that she thought the conversation would be too difficult so she'd never even mentioned it to her mother. It was too late to start it then because MIL was no longer capable of understanding the issues.

Today MIL is in a care home. She has a house standing empty that can't be sold, if it needs any repairs no-one can access her money to get someone in. Sister in law has to apply to the court of protection, it's a longer, more expensive process with a lot more form filling.

I think you would be better off being sole attorney if she’s going to dick you around about signing stuff.

And I would do that for health and for finance. I don’t see the benefit of doing them in sequence.

I think you are making this a lot more difficult than it needs to be. Just do the LPA for health and the one for finance in your name only.

I'm glad you friend helped you. They are extremely easy to do on your own though in case anyone else is wondering. I did them with my parents. We just did it very very slowly and used a lot of post it notes 😅😅😅

If it's at all possible and if your Mum is ok with being asked see if you can get all her passwords and bank details etc etc. I'd also try and get your name added to her bank account as an LPA-finance. I did this with my parents and it made everything so much easier.

The bank was extremely helpful. They need to see a copy of the LPA and then we went in and they sorted out the details. I know have access to the accounts and can do payments etc.

My Dad died and having all his paperwork sorted beforehand plus all the password made everything a million times easier to sort out. I'm so grateful that he helped with this.

My siblings are useless so they arent involved. I don't count on them at all so it takes the emotion out of it. If they do something then that's great but if they don't I don't give it any headspace.