Reaching burnout with caring for my mum

[AlternativelyWired]

I'm autistic which doesn't help. I have 3 dc with the youngest being 7 and the eldest in her final year of school. I don't drive and have long term health conditions of my own. I'm a single parent and don't drive and it's a long walk to school and back each day followed by a long walk to my mum's and back followed by the school run again. It's about 8 miles a day minimum.
I'm going to write a list of everything I do for my mum today but it's taking too much of my time and energy.
How can I cope better with things? My own house is in need of attention because I haven't time to do anything at home and am collapsing into bed by 9pm every day.
At the moment she doesn't need much doing but her conditions are unpredictable and she has got used to be going every day to keep her company if nothing else.

[Ilovetocrochet]

I think it is time for you to contact Social Services and get an assessment of your mums needs - and also a carers assessment for yourself. It will take a while to happen as they are overstretched but the hospital might help with the referral. You mum sounds like she needs carer visits to help with daily life. Has she had an OT assessment to look at adaptions for her house, that might help get a ramp provided?

Whatever you do, don’t go back to providing daily visits, you need time for you and your family.

[AlternativelyWired]

I was planning on phoning them on Monday. Mum is quite capable of day to day tasks except cleaning anything other than waist height or similar surfaces. She doesn't need me every day and o don't go up every day. I usually have one day off in the week them ne and the dc go for a social visit on the weekend for an hour or so. It's been an emotional drain lately but it turns out she has broken her back and I've said she must stay in hospital while they sort this out.

Previous carers have been useless and social services have said she doesn't qualify for anything. She has all the adaptations she needs but I'm still going to ask for an assessment for her to see if there's anything else they can do.

Im just sick of having siblings that do not a lot and have to be told to stay with her in A&E for example. All I get is that they work. Yeah well it's a good job I don't hey! If I did work outside of caring for mum they'd still expect me to do all the caring.

She's variable which doesn't help people understand her needs. Some weeks she is fine and does everything she needs to d bar hoovering and the bathroom cleaning. Other weeks she struggles to even make a cup of coffee. I do push her to do more for herself within her limitations and she does take it on board but sometimes she's just a bundle of woe is me and that's what I find the hardest to deal with.