The age-old private vs state debate

[mistressploppy]

DS is only 7mo but I can't decide about schools for him; here's the low-down....

We live in a pretty posh village and the local school is small and has a very good reputation. Small class sizes (actually mixed age classes, that's how small it is). It's also about 3mins walk from our house. However, the expensive Prep school is also 3mins walk away. DH went to this school. It has a great rep too; it features in those glossy schools inserts you get in Tatler

We can afford the Prep school.

Trouble is, I am a bit of an inverted snob. I went to a big city state school and got good results, went on to uni etc etc. Had a fab time at school. DH - not academic like me - went to posh prep school and even posher boarding school, messed around, got nothing! (But has a fab job now)

I'm worried that if DS goes to a posh school he'll only mix with mega-priviledged kids and won't have a rounded perspective. We're so lucky that we're in the catchement for such a good primary. But should I deny him the chance to go to a school with more opportunities if it's within our grasp?

Waiting lists for preps are pretty rare outside of London.

amumm, we thought that too - until we tried to get our DCs into preps in N Yorkshire.

Blimey, thanks everyone - especially Oracle and Rasputin - I am stuck firmly in between your respective opinions!

I didn't know that the £50 registration fee was a standard thing, I just thought our prep was being cheeky!

Will discuss with DH.

Absolutely NO desire for pony/Boden/society shite

I am about to take my DS out of a state school in a very posh village as well. He will be starting in year 1 and I have no regrets in him having his year in state as I have gone for a school that I would have not contemplated. Dont worry about the Boden/Pony mums we have more of those in the state school. In my DS new school we have a real mix of children of celebs right down to families who work their socks off and make sacrifices for their childrens education.
Not going to miss the dreadful Boden Mums

So you want to make him common like you then.. so he'll say uni and fab and unlike his own father... mmm, doesn't sound very fair. Our chidlren all always went to private schools.

Xenia -

Not sure if your post was aimed at me Xenia but we are far from common and DS father has a PHD in Theoretical Physics from Cambridge.

bellasmama - I read Xenia's post as aimed at the OP not you. Hope it goes well for you at the new school.

Xenia - never been called common before, I'm quite enjoying it!

Actually your post is perceptive; the whole debate has much more to do with DH's and my egos than I care to admit....

(I didn't know that 'uni' and 'fab' were class markers; I shall be more careful in future )

Mistressploppy, what a gracious response.
Xenia!

I was only half joking. Your husband didn't do that well at school but he still came good and that's almost what private schools seem to manage. People don't always do well at them like Branson but they tend to come good in the end because they had a good rounding in all basics, got self confidence, often may be a slightly better accent and all that stuff which does you as much good in life as how many A* you get at GCSE.

The other issue is do we want our children to be different from us? The classic case is inner city comp and poor family - child is brilliant goes to grammar school in the old days and finds a kind of barrier or separation from its family. I wouldn't of course stop those children ascending on those grounds but it's an issue. If you hate the idea of private schools, offends your political principles, feel you did fine in the state sector and your husband doesn't then that's hard for couples to decide. I only went to fee paying schools and my children only have and that's working out fine for us.

Fab... not sure - just sounds more like a 1960s word. Uni can be an age thing but people my age/class tend not to say it I suppose... so I'll let you off although sometimes you can indeed tell in a few seconds of speaking to someone their class and even type of schooling although not always. It's all huge fun and part of the delight of being English.

I take on board your comments, Xenia, they are actually rather helpful.

On another note, and in part response to the 'children different from us' issue; my father says 'uni'. He is a music professor at one. He was privately educated at Alleyn's - classy enough?

,...well it still makes me wince whenever I hear it (and I've 3 university age children so I hear it bandied around often enough... I'm not sure if by them)