If you are against Home Ed, can you tell me why?

[Bodenbabe]

I'm in the very early stages of thinking about HE and want to know all the pros and cons. If you are against HE, can you tell me why?

It is, and I don't choose it for my own as I have said. But the idea that education is more than assessment objectives and exam grades is becoming more and more appealing to me. I don't think my children would be differently rather than less well educated were we do it at home. Less qualified probably, but I don't confuse the two.

Lots of people do though, you're right, and there's the rub. I am however pretty confident that I could get mine into higher education should they want it. And once they were there, I suspect an unconventional educational background would be more of a curiosity than a hindrance.

fivecandles- equally I spose you could argue that a bad school experience can put a child off learning for life and so limit their opportunities later on...

None of us- whether we send our kids to school or HE- can tell how things will pan out later on. We can only hazard a guess at best.

Oops - I think my children would be differently rather than...

Attention wandering - sorry. Am preparing spoonfeeding for my exam classes in another window...

Well I do accept that a child being unhappy in school is a good reason to HE although I do find this sad since it indicates real problems with the school or child or both. But I dispute the idea that the quality or breadth of education provided at home is automatically or even often better. I think it rarely is.

And I think it is a huge risk for parents to make that assumption unless they have a very good reason for not trusting the school.

And the point that has been made by myself and others is that just because your kids go to school does not stop you encouraging independent learning, etc, etc at home. Best of both worlds.

Unfortunately TheFallenMadonna it is a fact of life that a CV won't even be looked at if it doesn't have the right qualifications on it. I say this with authority, having DCs at that age-life is tough-very tough and unfair! I have watched CVs put on the discard pile if they don't tick certain boxes. I don't think it right, it doesn't happen every time, but it definitely happens. I wanted my DCs to have the widest possible choices in life and if 'pieces of paper'are what they need I will make sure that they have every opportunity to aquire them. Sometimes an unconventional education is a curiosity and not a hindrance-I think it helped in my case-but not always. If the person interviewing is prejudiced against HE (and many people are) you are at an immediate disadvantage.

Well obviously as I am a teacher who sends her children to school, I'm not in any way anti-school, and I'm not going to disagree with the idea that independent learning can be encouraged outside of school hours. And even during them.

But I find a lot of critics of HE focus on the teaching aspect - which is I think a red herring.

Children have 13 weeks holiday a year + weekends + evenings. That's an awful lot of time to encourage their itnerest, develop independnet learning skills, read, learn or do nothing.

My kids have a very formal, very pushy education at school and at home we read, write stories, draw, bake, they do ballet and swimming ...

I think that by HEing you are driving your children into an unconventional lifestyle and denying them the opportunity of choosing the conventional option.

It is extremely rare for anyone to be a lawyer or a doctor without the requisite pieces of paper being obtained at 16. For me, all I want to do is increase the choices available to my DCs. I'd like them to have the choice as to whether they are medics or trapeze artists, rather than take that choice from them.

Some of us do have "a very good reason for not trusting the school"- through long and bitter experience, in our case!

I think you have to make your own choices, based on your experience, ideally. That's why I don't make judgements on other people's choices

God, I sound proper smug, don't I

I would say that I have always HEed-I just do it around the hours at school!

I wouldn't feel fulfilled if I was spending all my time with my dcs. I'd be incredibly anxious about our financial security. There is also no way dd1 would learn from me. Way too independent and strong-willed but she also gets incredibly frustrated when she can't do things on her own. She needs the input of neutral people.

But that's only an argument against you HE your DD though fivecandles.

I think I would find it very interesting myself.

But DC like school, learn lots and enjoy themselves in the process, and I too am a conventional soul, so...

Citizen I understand that there are scenarios where parents have no choice but to HE - illness, school refusal, bullying etc. I do really get that. It's the assumption that Home Education is automatically better and broader that I object to.

It's also really hard when you would like things to be a certain way and bring your kids up according to your values and principles but then those clash with what is conventional and valued in society as a whole. I get this a big in little ways i.e. because my kids are vegetarian and don't do things that are considered conventional i.e. pink, girly. It breaks my heart when they stick up for themselves in ways that get them considered to be 'different' or 'outsiders'. It would worry be that this would be expereince of Home Ed children on a much bigger scale.

Yes, yes, Fallen, my reasons. I was returning to the OP. Must go to bed now. Have to brave school and snow tomorrow.

When I was growing up the home-ed kids were the weird ones. This was early 80's Cambridge, but even so the arran-sweatered home-made-shoes take-your-crumhorn-to-the-park vibe was a bit much. They seemed unable to engage with non-HE-ers, very cliquey and, well, odd.

Empirical and not unpacked even slightly, but that's my gut feeling when considering the topic and why I wouldn't be tempted to HE.

I've ummed and ahhd about joining this thread. Here goes, please don't shoot me.

I would prefer my children to go to school (don't have any just yet ) but accept that there may be situations where HE is a better option. DH and I are agreed that if he is posted to the back of beyond when we have primary aged children we would consider HEing with reference to the NC and with support from the CNED so it would be more school at home and we would only do it as a temporary solution at primary age. If the situation arose when they were secondary age they would go to grandparents or board. Similarly if they had SN or were being bullied I would have no qualms about removing them and HEing but it would always be with the goal of retuning to school.

Academically I would be able to teach a rounded curriculum until the age of about 13. I have As at A-level in an art, a humanity and a science with 10 good GCSEs plus a degree with another from the OU in progress which will hopefully be an Open degree and plug gaps in my knowledge from only being able to take 3 A levels because that's what school would allow. We're a bilingual family in 2 mainstream European languages with working knowledge of 2 more. If that wasn't the case I personally couldn't even begin to contemplate HE but I'm relatively confident we could fill the gaps. I wouldn't plan to do it all myself though!

Equally important I would be confident actually teaching because I was a governess until I married DH and that was my job. Different circumstances but enough to reassure me I could do it.

I understand the pitfalls of HE, having been there with someone else's child and think I know how to avoid them. We are very lucky that if DH were to be sent somewhere that local schooling isn't an option I wouldn't be working anyway and his salary would reflect that so we could afford it. So why wouldn't I do it after primary, and even then only reluctantly?

It boils down to the fact that school is the norm and unless there's a very good reason for not going such as illness or there not actually being a suitable one that's what the vast majority of the population do. It's an expectation people have, it's a common experience that you carry throughout your life and I have a weird feeling of kinship with any alumna of my alma mater! School prepares you for exams and for qualifications. It encourages you to compete with your peers and teaches you to be a small fish in a big pond. It would always be the default of option for me. I couldn't do my children justice at secondary level. I hope they will be ambitious and want to be doctors or engineers or archaeologists, I don't really mind what exactly! But I don't know whether I would be enough to get them there alone/with the support of other HEdders. School would provide them with a better education IMO. Schooling and education is really important to both DH and I despite our different experiences. I loved school for the knowledge it gave me but was appalling socially at school - different in extracurricular activites though, which is odd. He loved it for the social experience and schoolwork was a minor inconvenience which could be knocked off quickly (bright, tests well) but didn't merit serious thought. If our children are anything like us school is the best place for them because I would, quite frankly, be inadequate all other things being equal.

I would probably feel totally differently if my child had been severely bullied and it was a matter or rebuilding confidence and rehabilitation, for want of a better word. Or with an SN child whose needs weren't being met. But for a child who just plain didn't like school there are things in life you don't like but have to do. For a child who was 'different' (by which I mean slightly kooky) sometimes you have to bend a little and go with the mainstream so they'd stay in and either deal with being different or learn to adapt at school whilst being allowed to express themselves at home.

I agree there's a negative perception about HE and HEddrs which probably forms part of my reasoning against. Not because I think they're weird, I know they're not all weird from meeting them, and I know they HE for different reasons but some are and that's the image people have. If I could avoid it I wouldn't put the burden of that perception on my children for the rest of their lives.

This is all my personal opinion based on me because I think it's a decision that can only be taken with a knowledge of oneself and ones family.

There is life outside school though, even for a child who dislikes school. Clearly if a child is desperately unhappy, being bullied, not learning, is seriously affected by being at school then that schooling approach isn't right but for a child who doesn't like having to get up and go to school or who dislikes having to sit still and follow instructions or any other aspect that's part and parcel of school then they'll have to deal with it because it would probably be the same wherever they went. I've already said I'd remove a child if necessary but it would be with the intention of going to another school, not giving in to the fact that they dislike not being in control of their day or whatever it is they have a problem with. I'm talking about the child who comes home and whinges consistently, not the one in hysterics or the one who gets seriously depressed, just one who dislikes school, perhaps because there's someplace else they'd rather be. I have met people who HE on the strength of nothing more than 'Fifi went to school for 2 weeks but she didn't like it so now we HE' and I am against that. Firstly because 2 weeks isn't enough to make any kind of decision of that magnitude and secondly because it's not trying to find out what the problem is, how to fix it, why Fifi was unhappy, whether she wasn't ready for school and it's worth trying again later, whether there are things that could prepare her, whether there's an underlying problem etc.

That's what I meant when I said a child who doesn't like school.

I think that Steiner sounds wonderful in theory, but I don't think it delivers what it promises and I wouldn't think of sending my DCs to one.
I like the state system, where it operates well and I like my DCs to meet all sorts, from all walks of life.

Gah computer ate my post but the gist was that was an RL example and I did use her RL name. Perhaps I shouldn't have but that's another debate. So I don't know what that says about my prejudices or what it says about other people's perception of my prejudices. And I don't truly believe, having done it, that the discipline of school, which is what some children don't like, can be replicated at home and nor can the experience of sharing one adult with 30 other children. IMO the only flaw of HE which cannot easily be rectified is the lack of a classroom experience and discipline unless you can flexischool. Not saying discipine in general because I saw some very well behaved, motivated, focused children who were HE but classroom discipline which is something else entirely IMO.

But the OP asked why people were against it, I've given my reasons why it's not for me or rather why I'm not against but it wouldn't be my first choice and now I shall leave the debate to the more seasoned on here!