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Homosexuality in the Classroom.

766 replies

Darcey1 · 25/11/2009 13:40

My daughter is nine. Yesterday she came home from school and said that her teacher had told the class that she was a lesbian. The teacher is about to have one of these civil partnerships and according to my daughter told the class that girls could marry girls and boys could marry boys if they wanted to.It was according to her entirely natural. This seems like corruption to me. I don't want my daughter exposed to this kind of lifestyle.

I am very upset about this and don't know what to do. Am I over reacting? Should the school have warned us that the teacher was going to do this? Do you think I should make a complaint to the school?

OP posts:
PerArduaAdNauseum · 25/11/2009 20:51
dilemma456 · 25/11/2009 20:56

Message withdrawn

feedthegoat · 25/11/2009 20:57

I haven't read all of this thread to be honest but I'm shocked that in this day and age anyone would consider this to be 'corruption'.

I have always known from a very young age that my uncle was in a same sex relationship and this was (as it should be) always treated as completely normal. He is involved in my ds's life as is his partner and again it is no secret.

My ds is too young to understand what it all means yet so I sincerely hope that the outcome for him will be the same as it was for me. That is growing up not even questioning that it isn't 'normal'.

Why do so many people think that children need to be shielded from perfectly ordinary real life things?

CitizenPrecious · 25/11/2009 21:00

Hullygully I regret that I have had to report your posts to MNHQ

I have just choked on an ice cube

CitizenPrecious · 25/11/2009 21:01

...and I only came on here to give the troll a

mollyroger · 25/11/2009 21:02

my younger ds is also 9. And also an innocent.

By that I mean that he asks no questions, has no real curiosity yet about sex. (He does have an older brother, who perhaps tells him stuff...)

But my ds knows that people love people. He knows that some people get married. Some people have children. Some people never get married. Some people never have children.

He knows that Andy, our friend, used to live with Mary and they are Susan's mum and dad. But Andy and Mary fell out and now Andy lives with John. And Susan spends some time with her mum, and sometime with her two dads

He is still innocent. but totally accepting of other people..
It is possible DP.

mathanxiety · 25/11/2009 21:04

It's a pity that schools don't allow teachers to use the relationship-neutral title Ms instead or Miss or Mrs. Or is this really the case? If so, it's very 1950s of them. I recall my own teachers in Ireland in the 70s and 80s using Ms.

"I honestly don't believe that you really think a heterosexual teacher shouldn't mention their forthcoming marriage to his or her pupils." Yes, I believe in the interest of consistency and fairness to all the children, as well as fairness to people who are denied the rights that heterosexual people take for granted, nothing like this should be mentioned. How sad might a child be, knowing he or she is gay or a lesbian, to hear a straight teacher looking forward to his or her wedding, knowing that he or she might never enjoy that right? There are plenty of places in the world where no such right exists, and who can tell if a child might end up living in, say, Wyoming? How sensitive is it to talk about your private relationships to children whose own lives might or might not include a father or a mother, or whose parents might be fighting or contemplating divorce?

And what does changing your professional name say to children about the respective status of boys and girls in our society? Teachers who change their names mid-year because of marriage have always annoyed me, as a feminist. Ditto those teachers who show children their big shiny engagement rings. You are teaching every minute you are in the school, and teachers need to examine what exactly they are imparting.

I would really caution daftpunk against trying to tell her DCs that one kind of sexual orientation is wrong and another is right. If it turns out the child is gay or lesbian, the emotional fallout can be devastating for everyone concerned.

WouldYouCouldYouWithAGoat · 25/11/2009 21:09

you are just attempting to bore us into submission now

GrumpyWhenWoken · 25/11/2009 21:12

both of mine (age 4 and 7) know that sometimes girls marry girls etc. reason being that I would hate for them to realise perhaps they are gay and think that they had to hide it.

I know someone who did that all his life and he's quite f**d up now - and he still can't come out and admit it to anyone else.

I think the OP is a troll - where is she?

TheFallenMadonna · 25/11/2009 21:13

I am Ms at school. But I still refer to my husband. And I think your ideas are daft. And rather soulless. Your school would be a very sterile place I think.

daftpunk · 25/11/2009 21:14

if any of my children turn out to be homosexual i will deal with the fall out...

i'll admit i would be disappointed....but i'd support them....they're my children and i love them....whatever happens.

cory · 25/11/2009 21:18

mathanxiety Wed 25-Nov-09 21:04:54

"Yes, I believe in the interest of consistency and fairness to all the children, as well as fairness to people who are denied the rights that heterosexual people take for granted, nothing like this should be mentioned. How sad might a child be, knowing he or she is gay or a lesbian, to hear a straight teacher looking forward to his or her wedding, knowing that he or she might never enjoy that right? There are plenty of places in the world where no such right exists, and who can tell if a child might end up living in, say, Wyoming? How sensitive is it to talk about your private relationships to children whose own lives might or might not include a father or a mother, or whose parents might be fighting or contemplating divorce?"

So the implication is that children must be protected against knowing that any adults they come into contact with might have something enjoyable in their lives, just in case they miss out?

What about the teacher who mentions that he used to play football in a real team? Or who tells the children that he thinks sport is great fun? Not allowed in case it upsets a disabled child? Or the teacher who sings at assembly? Forbidden in case a tone deaf child is saddened? The mere sight of a motherlike authority figure might upset a child who has just lost her Mum? And a teacher must on no account wear a nice outfit because one of the children may end up living in a country where they have to be heavily veiled.

You're not serious, are you?

I am glad that my children have not been exposed to this kill-joy attitude: they are allowed to know that their teachers are real people who live in the real world. And that this necessarily means that they may have things that dcs might never have.

cory · 25/11/2009 21:19

sorry, just re-read your post, and realise this was probably sarcastic

cory · 25/11/2009 21:20

I hope?

EdgarAllenPoo · 25/11/2009 21:21

i've got through life without knowing many gay people..
(not sure i've known any..?)

You know plenty now DP

TheFallenMadonna · 25/11/2009 21:22

Ah - sarcastic?

Phew.

mollyroger · 25/11/2009 21:23

Have you considered how you might feel if you turn out to be a disappointment to your children, DP?

''I know she's a homophobic bigot, but she's my mum...'''

badietbuddy · 25/11/2009 21:24

DP you really do take the . Why make such a big secret and issue about homosexuality? My best friend is in a loving same sex partnership, my dd is 5 and knows that Aunty M and Aunty L love each other and are 'girlfriends'. Not an issue to her at all and it makes me so sad that you think your nine year old needs 'protecting' from same sex relationships. Let me tell you, I know I'd rather my dd learns from a loving example than sniggers and mis-tellings in the playground

badietbuddy · 25/11/2009 21:25

You would be disappointed in them???!?!?!? Then I not only pity your bigotted attitude DP, I pity your children.

Chickenshavenolips · 25/11/2009 21:27

This thread, and some of the posts on it, has got to be a wind up. So all I can add is

seeker · 25/11/2009 21:27

Please will someone break into daftpunk's house and disable the full stop key on her keyboard?. I'm not sure that her views would be any less repellent if they were written in complete sentences, but they might grate a little less.

popsycal · 25/11/2009 21:28

OP

you ould have had great fun with me challemging a group of 9 years olds in my class last week when they were calling each other 'gay boy' on the yard then

my lecture to them was way more detailed tan your child's teacher discussing her CP

ravenAK · 25/11/2009 21:29

No, mathanxiety has posted in a similarly unrealistic manner before.

Schools are part of the community.

I live & teach in a biggish market town. If I'm shopping in town at the weekend, I get 'hello miss!' approximately every 10 minutes. If I go out for a pint locally, I'm probably served by an ex-student. I phone a local plumber...used to teach him. Dh is chatting to a new work colleague, who notices our unusual surname - 'I think your wife teaches my dd'.

It's nonsensical & artificial to imagine students can (or for that matter should) be protected from the sort of information about teachers that any local acquaintance would have.

Thandeka · 25/11/2009 21:33

Actually Marthanxiety finally here we agree re. using Ms. or discussing marriage in school- but probably for different reasons.

I am Ms. in school and if I do refer to DH (who I am married to) he is my "partner" as kids do like to make assumptions and I like to challenge those assumptions. Yes a lot of students assume I am gay because of this (and the work I do on homophobia) to which my response is "would it matter if I was?" while still not necessarily clarifying for them- and actually bless em for a lot of students the response is "no it wouldn't matter". For me it is important that I don't necessarily promote a heteronormative lifestyle so I choose not to (maybe am just being bloody minded!) but I do think if you are comfortable talking about your orientation (reinforcing talking about identity NOT sexuality/sexual practices) then you absolutely should and I wish more teachers would be out in schools but sadly it is threads like this (well not nec this thread as overwhelming support for the teacher concerned!) and fears of parental backlash that prevent this. In fact this thread has made me realise something I am going to pass on to the legislative bods for further clarification- "would a teacher telling a class about their relationship" count as sex and relationship education- ie. would a parent have a right of withdrawal/complaint. It is implied by all the other legislation that they wouldn't- however I do think this is worth clarifying further so teachers do feel able to be out at school.

daftpunk · 25/11/2009 21:36

time i left this thread..

i'm ignorant

have sexual hang ups

and now i'm a disappointment to my children....

i think some of you forget i'm human...

only so much i can take.