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Original poster

Homosexuality in the Classroom.

766 replies

Darcey1 · 25/11/2009 13:40

My daughter is nine. Yesterday she came home from school and said that her teacher had told the class that she was a lesbian. The teacher is about to have one of these civil partnerships and according to my daughter told the class that girls could marry girls and boys could marry boys if they wanted to.It was according to her entirely natural. This seems like corruption to me. I don't want my daughter exposed to this kind of lifestyle.

I am very upset about this and don't know what to do. Am I over reacting? Should the school have warned us that the teacher was going to do this? Do you think I should make a complaint to the school?

OP posts:
daftpunk · 25/11/2009 16:17

Blu;

why do i think a teacher needs parental consent to talk about something that is legal & commonplace...?

i can't believe you've asked me that...

drinking a bottle of vodka every night is legal & commonplace, doesn't mean i'd want a teacher talking to my 9 yr old about it....plus i don't think civil partnerships are that commonplace..

bibbity;

not sure why you find 80% of what i say offensive...i dont think i say very much at all really...maybe people on here arn't used to someone with rightwing political views..? i don't know..

it's no secret that i'm only one deleted post away from being banned......which will be a shame....because although i'm the most unpopular person on MN...i've learnt alot from this site and will miss it...

ViktoriaMac · 25/11/2009 16:20

Every school I have ever taught at has had a staff room bursting at the seams with all kinds of perversion. In fact, when I was head of PSHE at a Catholic school we had a policy of converting the kids into gays (lesbian gays as well as gay gays) in order to avoid the whole sticky issue of contraception and teenage pregnancy. The local diocese was well impressed and used us as a showcase school.

ledodgy · 25/11/2009 16:22

'according to my daughter told the class that girls could marry girls and boys could marry boys if they wanted to'

How is this corruption? This is a statement of fact. I'd be more concerned if any of my children were in the same class as your dd if any of your prejudice has rubbed off on her.

Nahla · 25/11/2009 16:24

I take there are no openly gay parents at your DD's school.

TheCrackFox · 25/11/2009 16:26

I looked into teacher training but TBH the thought of the compulsory wearing of a gimp mask on my days off made me reconsider.

lazymumofteenagesons · 25/11/2009 17:30

I'm very disappointed with this thread. I thought it was going to be about catching 2 gym mistresses at it on the desks.

stickylittlefingers · 25/11/2009 17:45

lazymum I've got that DVD if you want it.

OP. Lots of people are gay. There are countries where the authorities make it difficult for people to be openly gay, and I'm guessing you wouldn't want to live in one. In that case, you are going to have to swallow your prejudice and just accept that if people are going to be allowed to be openly gay, then your attitude is out of kilter. Being gay does not require explanation, it is just a fact of life. No one needs to be prepared for it, unless they have previously been told it is bad or scary or sinful.

lazymumofteenagesons · 25/11/2009 17:53

Sicky, Is that where your name comes from?

lazymumofteenagesons · 25/11/2009 17:54

sorry - Sticky not Sicky.

RubysReturn · 25/11/2009 17:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

upahill · 25/11/2009 18:00

There's going to be plenty of issues either from school or otherwise that you won't have time to prepare for. You think on your feet and give appropiate answers.

You are over reacting to be honest. I don't know why you are upset. What would you want the school to do anyway?
I hope you didn't act disgusted to your daughter or fob her off with some nonsense.

I am, to be honest, quite offended by you tone about 'this kind of lifestyle'

lazymumofteenagesons · 25/11/2009 18:01

Actually,jokes aside, she is 9 years old and we're in the 21st century. I'm sure your daughter was not in least bit shocked by this and nor should you be. The most that might have been necessary was a short discussion to see if she had understood the situation. Thank goodness kids are often far more accepting of 'differences' than adults. When DS2 was 7/8 a boy joined his class who had 2 fathers and my son became friendly. When some people heard that I let him stay the night with this boy they were horrified. I did ask what exactly they thought was going to happen to him, but gave up trying to get them to see sense in the end.

Marne · 25/11/2009 18:01

My 5 year old knows that men can marry men and laddies can marry ladies, i don't see a problem TBH.

Ladymuck · 25/11/2009 18:10

To all those who are using the fact that civil partnerships are now legal, please remember that it has only 6 or 7 years ago since clause 28 was overturned. For the 15 or so years before it was illegal to "promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship".

Obviously the majority of public opinion has moved on enormously over the last 20 years, but given that a generation of people will have gone through school under that law, it is not hugely surprising that they may have certain set ideas as to what can and cannot be said in school.

There are a number of grounds on which one can debate with the OP, but using the law in this area would be bizarre one to be honest. Unless you really think that the legal position is the only thing that counts.

Ponymum · 25/11/2009 18:13

I am more concerned that your daughter will pick up prejudices off you, than be in any way harmed by a truthful and normal announcement. I hope you will take a look at your attitude and teach your daughter to be tolerant, fair, and friendly to all people. I don't think your current attitude is sending quite that message.

PerArduaAdNauseum · 25/11/2009 18:13

Ladymuck - surely the legal position is a reflection of the more generalised acceptance of homosexuality in this country? Civil partnerships even more so.

PerArduaAdNauseum · 25/11/2009 18:14

'generalised'? General. FFS. Can't think what made me say that

mathanxiety · 25/11/2009 18:15

Supporting the OP here to some extent. The teacher shared too much information with the children, imo. There's no need for a teacher to go beyond saying she will be celebrating her civil partnership on X date, and even then she doesn't need to tell the class if she's not taking time off school. Same goes for a straight teacher about to get married. A straight teacher wouldn't need to explain she would be getting married to a man and add that she was heterosexual, either. Just stick with the fact of the wedding or the civil partnership. No need to share any more private details.

It's telling the children about her sexuality that OP objected to, I think. The teacher incorrectly assumed the children 1) knew anything about gays or lesbians or 2) cared a hoot about such things, and seems rather self absorbed, tbh. I would be annoyed at any teacher sharing any personal details with a classfull of children unless the children's schedule was going to be disrupted by it, or unless the children would be having a sub for a while. They are not a captive audience there for the purposes of participating in the drama or politics of the teacher's life.

WouldYouCouldYouWithAGoat · 25/11/2009 18:16

it wouldn't happen in france

PerArduaAdNauseum · 25/11/2009 18:22

LOL at goat

mathanxiety - the class is 9yo. Do children really get to be 9 these days without knowing about same-sex relationships? Even if just in a Little Britain way?

And it's primary/middle school, where the teacher will have built up much more of a relationship with the children than a secondary teacher. Why can't she share some of her happiness with them?

Spidermama · 25/11/2009 18:27

I'd feel I had failed if my child of 9 didn't know that there was such a thing as gay relationships and indeed if they had never met anyone gay.

I'm saddened to see such prejudice in this day and age.

scarletlilybug · 25/11/2009 18:43

OP is entitled to her views just as we all are, whether or not we happen to agree with her.

mathanxiety · 25/11/2009 18:52

I think some children go through their lives until about 11 blithely unaware of a lot that goes on. There are plenty of kids who lead rather sheltered lives, with limited tv, religious focus at home, possibly attending religious private schools.

I would really expect a teacher, whether straight or gay, to leave announcements about their sexuality for adult gatherings, and to only reveal elements of the world of sexual relationships to children with parental consent, especially if they were going to accompany these revelations with any editorialising of what's wrong or right about it. Ditto for their political views, views about matters such as abortion, divorce (whether for or against, I don't care).

For me the issue is what's TMI of a personal nature that a teacher should share, and sexual orientation should be, imo, a personal matter. There's nothing to stop children learning about anything in the normal course of their lives, but unless lesbian life is part of the curriculum, the teacher shouldn't have included her little talk in the day's lessons. Leave that for formal sex ed where the parents have some idea of what will be imparted.

upahill · 25/11/2009 18:55

I feel paticulary sensitive to this thread because my close friend has been beaten up quite badly 8 days ago because he is gay.

I am trying to cope. It is heartbreaking seeing his mum, dad, sisters and partner looking bewildered and shocked at what has happened.
I'm not talking about a bit of a slap here. This is a brutal attack and he could be left brain damaged.
This is a young guy who doesn't flaunt his sexuality and doesn't do 'camp'
My kids are heartbroken and can't understand
1 Why anyone would beat anyone up
2 Why anyone would beat someone else up because they are gay?

The same reason why Sophie Lancaster who was beaten to death because she was a goth. The answer is because there are intolarant bastards who are fuelled on hate.

Whether this a troll or not has exposed one thing- there is still hate out there.

TheFallenMadonna · 25/11/2009 18:57

I think it's fine for teachers to talkto their students about getting married/entering into a civil partnership. And I doubt she sat down with a powerpoint There's have been questions,like what's his name? What does he do. Things about your partner come up in conversation. I use my husband's accident-prone past to great effect when I'm teaching about joints and movement. It is natural to refer to them. It would be unnatural to sidestep any reference to them to pander to other people's prejudice. Because that's what it is.