Homosexuality in the Classroom.

[Darcey1]

My daughter is nine. Yesterday she came home from school and said that her teacher had told the class that she was a lesbian. The teacher is about to have one of these civil partnerships and according to my daughter told the class that girls could marry girls and boys could marry boys if they wanted to.It was according to her entirely natural. This seems like corruption to me. I don't want my daughter exposed to this kind of lifestyle.

I am very upset about this and don't know what to do. Am I over reacting? Should the school have warned us that the teacher was going to do this? Do you think I should make a complaint to the school?

Assuming the OP is genuine...

Wake up! Your child is getting politically correct social-marxist propaganda at school from the word go. This is nothing especially different. First term at reception my eldest came home singing about Ramadan and Eid, from that point on I have kept as close an eye as possible on the curriculum and, put my own counters to it in as casually as I can.

You can't really change the current meme of liberalism, it would be like complaining of your children learning Marxist-Leninist theory in school #234 in 1970s Moscow, so don't waste your time complaining. But like in the latter days of the Soviet Union, public cynicism against the brainwashing of the day is growing.

I wouldn't worry to much about this teacher. Women who a fond of walking holidays have often been in the profession. Time was they were regarded as a rather sad joke. Suggest you take the same attitude.

Oh Lordy.

Oh my giddy aunt.
(And her special friend that she went on walking holidays with.)

I've not read all the posts, so excuse me if I'm repeating something.

Personally I'm surprised that the teacher made an announcement to a class of 9 year olds.

I remember being told about the ins and outs so to speak of one of my teachers marital trials - sex strikes and the like, when I was about 14 and it was really inappropriate then I felt.

I just didn't want to know any personal information about my teachers. Least of all their relationship details.

I did complain when my class was shown pictures of an aborted foetus in a bucket by a trainee priest when we were 11 years old. It was just way tooo much - he was looking to shock us and got off on our reaction. I immediately left the classromm and went to the Principal. The priest was banned from coming into the school again.

So I do draw the line about revealing presonal stuff to minors. By all means be happy and skip into the classroom with a big grin on your face, but keep the details out of it.

Are any of you objectors honestly saying you'd have a problem if it was a man she was marrying?
I think you are failing to see the importance of the teacher-pupil relationship. My dauughter's teacher spends more hour a day with her than I do. I'm glad dd knows what personal information she does (very little as it happens, mostly centered around the teacher's cat she brought in for everyone to see) as her teacher is an important person to her, and yes, I think she would share with the class if she were marrying (man or woman). I also think you are making a moot point with the sexual side of a relationship- when you are 9 sex doesn't come into it at all, your boyfriend is someone you hold hands with at lunch. No, I don't want my dd's teacher to tell them all what a wild night she had at the weekend, or about her bunions. But I do think a little personal disclousure can only help the community feel of the class.

Yes, I would.

If you allow any of it, where does it end? (Thinking of the foetus in the bucket, gaaaaaagh)

And sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, so to speak.

I have no problem with the teacher asking the children about their lives and expressing interest in their families and pets, etc., but the other way round is not necessary for the community feel.

I agree, badiebudie.

DS2 loves the littledetails of his teahcers lives. He was thrilled when his reception teacher showed him the shoes her daughters woudl be wearing as brides maides, and delighted in telling me his teahcer was off yesterday becuse she had vomited in her car on the way into school.

DS1 once woke me up on a Sunday morning to ask me if I wanted to know when his teachers husband was called (TBH, at that time of the morning I couldn't ahve cared less!)

These little thinkgs are important to chilren, and are people actually denying to their children that same sex relationships exist?

Last year at my DCs' school (a CofE primary), a teaching assistant (male) married one of the teachers (female). This year two of the male teachers had a civil partnership ceremony.

Both times this was announced in the school newsletter and the happy couples were congratulated. Both times, there was a bit of sniggering amongst the older kids - you mean teachers actually have sex personal lives? - and then the world carried on as normal, just as most people living in 21st century Britain might expect....

Mathanxiety, that is complete bollocks. God forbid teachers are not actually robots with their express function being to teach your little darlings. I can see no way in which a teacher saying 'I'm getting married' crosses any kind of line. But hey, best polish your tinfoil hat just in case, eh?

I can just imagine the conversations: "Miss, do you have any children" (me)"I'd rather not say". "Miss were you not off on maternity leave last year? Mr x told us" (me) "Er, yes I was". "So miss, what did you have, a girl or a boy?" (me) "I'd rather not say".
They wouldn't think what a great teacher I was for focusing on being objective and impersonal, they would think I was an aloof, disengaged idiot. Teaching is about 50% establishing a rapport with your students. Treating them like strangers just doesn't cut it for me.

But where do you draw the line? The OP was distressed by the announcement of the marriage of the teacher to another woman. This may not be PC but she has a right to her feelings. It was an announcement that would not cause much of a ripple in some people's lives, but obviously the OP feels differently. Is imparting personal information ok if you approve of the direction the teacher's life is taking? Some personal information has the potential to be upsetting to some people.

Zazen mentions a teacher regaling the class with an account of marital woes. Would you like your child to hear any of this? Is it ok for a teacher to give details of a divorce? How about the teacher's spouse's cheating ways? What if the teacher had decided to go and live in the US in a polygamist commune in Arizona and told the class about her upcoming marriage to a man who already had 12 wives and 56 children? What if the teacher had fallen pregnant and decided either to have or not to have an abortion -- can she share that with a class of 9 year olds?

I think that's a bit of a slippery slope argument. Telling your class you are getting married/having a baby/buying a house even, won't lead to tales of infidelity etc, unless the teacher has not sense of what is professionally acceptable. It IS acceptable to pass on basic general info about your life - or to use somethings (eg a favourite sport) to engage students with.
Some parents might be offended - well yes, some parents would be offended to know their kid's teacher was about to marry a person of a different race, but as a society we've moved beyond the stage where we feel we have to bow to that.
I bet the kids in this class will be just that little bit more understanding when (inevitably) one of their number comes out at secondary.. Hope so anyway.

I think it's a problem to leave it to the professional judgement of the teacher. What guarantee is there that a teacher can judge this? Regarding parents being offended by interracial marriage -- a horrible attitude, yes, but they have a right to their beliefs, and who is the teacher to come between parents and children where the family philosophy is concerned, no matter how unPC it might be?

Nothing constructive to add other than: Hully, loving your work on here.

DP - Darling! I have just noticed that I get on your wick...come on baby, let me light your fire (in the spirit of the thread, you understand, we'll have an assembly about it). Now don't be shy!

I agree, I have gay friends but I don't think young children should have it shoved into their faces. Most children have heterosexual parents, and it bewilders them when suddenly their teacher, a trusted adult, suddenly challenges all their perceptions.

Peaceflower - I think you'll find that's what is called education.

DP, stop being deliberatly obtuse. I didn't say you were a disappointment to your children, I said imagine how you might feel if one of your children was gay (and remember, it's not a choice, like deciding not to take drugs, or deciding to go to church....) - they might be equally disappointed in you as a parent, for some of the beliefs you have expressed.

for example, I grew up with a racist, homophobic, mysoginistic, labour-bashing, everyone-bashing father. (and those were some of his better qualities

Eventually, he was a huge source of irritation, then embarassment to me.
He actually recoiled from his first-born grandson, because he said he had swollen nipples and he feared that was a 'sign' of homosexuality.

Mind you, I suspect I am an equal disappointment to him...meh. We haven't spoken in years.

Peaceflower Thu 26-Nov-09 08:33:26
"I agree, I have gay friends but I don't think young children should have it shoved into their faces. Most children have heterosexual parents, and it bewilders them when suddenly their teacher, a trusted adult, suddenly challenges all their perceptions."

My children live in a predominantly white neighbourhood and have white parents. Do you think the school should be stopped from employing an Asian teacher in case it bewildered my children by suddenly challenging all their perceptions?

I want my children's perceptions to be challenged! I want them to know it's an interesting world out there and I want them to grow up into people who think this is positive.

As for teachers not being able to share anything of their lives, I think that's rubbish. Obviously they shouldn't share very personal information about the details of their love life. But this teacher was hardly inviting the class into the marital bedchamber.

Ime children learn far better if they are shown that teachers are real people who live in the real world and deal with its challenges.

The lesson that I remember best is the one in junior school when the teacher told us how her Dad saved the life of the hot dog man when his chip pan burst into flames and he wanted to jump into the canal. Ever since, I have known what to do with burning fat, and if I was ever in that situation, I would know what to do.

Of course, she could just have read out the facts without the anecdote, or she could pretended she had read it in a book- but in that case would I really remember it after all these years?

I knew a very good teacher who only had one arm. Perfectly capable of doing the job and indeed very good at it, but on consideration perhaps he should have been kept out of sight so as not to challenge the children's perception: after all, most of them had only seen two-armed people. And I am learning from Mumsnet that children are sensitive plants.

Ah Peaceflower (Bit of a misnomer there as a username) I wonder you could answer me this question.

why do homophobics always go on about having homosexuality "shoved in their faces"? It's always the same analogy. Please explain.

Oh and the bit about "a trusted adult" in your post actually, LITERALLY, made my computer cry. So well done on one of the most offensive sentences on this, one of the most offensive threads on MN. Nice one.

It doesn't suddenly alter their perceptions because for the most part they don't have any fixed rules at this age and are open to everyone on face value.They are altering YOUR perceptions and the lot of you homophobes are using your kids to keep the prejudice alive

DP are you from NI?

My DC have been to a civil partnership. A side effect of that is that they often say that they want to marry their same sex best friend.

But,thinking about it, haven't children always said things like that?

A few year ago they may have been told 'well, you can't'. But now when other children say that to my DC they say 'yes you can' and they feel quite proud to have access to all the facts .

To the OP, take the opportunity to discuss the issue further with your DD - she may have questions. This is not a corrupt lifestyle, simply an alternative one.