Why don't most parents get involved in their children's schools?

[zebraX]

Recent travel survey for my son's school -- 30% reply rate by parents.

"Help us identify your child's talents?" survey at same school, 25% response rate (so far).

Latest preschool committee meeting -- 4 commmittee members, plus committee officers turned up (80 children attend the preschool). Which is pretty good compared to

8 people at Friends of the School meeting last night (~300 children at the school), planning FunFair events. They have at least 20 events on, all of them designed to require low staffing levels, due to lack of parental support.

WHY DON'T MORE PARENTS GET INVOLVED, at least reply to surveys designed to help their school and their child's education, help out with fund-raising events???? I just don't understand. I know some people have legit excuses, but do 75-99% of the parents have good reasons for not helping out???

That's a bit unfair, Cod. IMO, these social committees are there to provide a social group for the mums who are involved in them. They are doing it for their own gain - to make friends - as much as raising a few pennies for the school. There's nothing wrong with this objective, but it does make them cliquey, and it can be hard to break into the clique if you are different to the majority.

Cod, whaaat? No-one's slagging off people who do get involved, they're just talking about why they don't. Some PTAs are damn cliquey and cliques can be intimidating. And PTAs aren't in the same league as hospices imo - many people have said they don't always raise that much and don't always do it in the most efficient way. Of course I work! I'm a sahm! Bloody hell, I work!
Who rattled your cage today then?

Hey and I'm not idle, I'd just rather give cash than my time? Surely it's better if I hand over some money than part with a quid at a cake sale?

Shouldn't be a ? mark there, my voice wouldn't go up at the end of a sentence like that!

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Don't know anything about PTAs but think ks is absolutely hilarious.

Cod - i knew the 'i work f/t' would get you here.

Yes, I do think SAHMs work, and work v v hard. But the difference is that they don't work in a way which takes them away from their children, and usually have some flexibility in doing some of the domestic tasks which WAFH parents have to squeeze into the eves and w/e. Like fetching things from the P.O. If I was a sahm I would do that as a walk with DS in the week, but it has to be fitted in at w/e. And many similiar tasks. Gardening. Shopping. Things I would get done as part of my life with DS during the week.

It doesn't have to be a slur on SAHM-hood to state the logoical, does it?

And i'm sure v many parents are happy to contribute money or other resources becausse they are conscious that their time is hard to give. That's what i would do - and help out where poss. But go to meetings when I could be at home playing with /parenting DS? Nope, sorry.

Like it or not there is simply less time available for (enjoyable and important) activities such as PTA.

i dont do it because i can't be arsed

Good for you Lou!

cod why are you so stressed?

Er - can someone explain to me why I should "cough up" for my child's education if I don't bake cakes?

And how much money should I cough up? The same as those mothers whose household income is 10 times mine?

Give me a break!

Shit a brick, out schools should be funded from government!

You don't get bring and buy sales for roads do you?

Or rubbish collections. Why the fuck should your children's education not be paid for properly by our taxes?

Sorry but it is insulting! Especialy from education, education education Blair.

I don't think you should Caligula. I actually think we should all spend less time baking cakes and in that time, let the govt know what we think of schools with no money for books.

Ah hmb, we said the same thing really!

you know in terms of funding, a lot of problems arise with the actual council rather than the government. I remember the Evening Standard published an article last year showing the worst councils where the government had given them the allocated money for schools and the councils had WITHHELD some of the funds (one council it was extraordinarily high). The LEAs allocate the money to schools not the government (although obviously they have to have the money from the government in the first place!)

How many Dads are active in this meeting/fundraising/baking extravaganza?

My brother practically makes a full time job of it - and tripled the profit from the school fayre - but he's a sahd.

Actually, that's why I can't participate - I am genetically unsuited to take part in anything spelled 'fayre'.

I am a mum, a wife, a childminder and also chair of our PTA.
I would just rather parents say I can't be bothered to come to meetings or events or i'm not intrested rather than say sorry but we are very busy cos we are all very busy.
The school my kids go to is one of the ones where parents move to get into the catchment area cos it is one of the best equipped and is full of very well rounded kids, but it didn't get this way by chance, it has taken a lot of work by staff and funding from the very active PTA. I agree that ideally we should not have to raise money but we do not live in an ideal world so unfortunately if we want our school to have all of the extras we have to find the funds.
All we ask of parents is they try to attend one or two of our events eg family disco, summer or xmas fayre, quiz night, family bingo or give a raffle prize or home baking when needed, we are not asking for lots of their time and money but some parents won't even do this.
I am sure you will find this is the case in most schools and it is such a shame because these events are also a great way to get to know other parents and enjoy yourself.

Extras is one thing, feelingold, but PTA money paying for new books is wrong.

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I am chair of our pre-school committee. I have to say I found it a little daunting when I joined as everyone seemed to know everyone else but it was worth sticking with as I really enjoy it now.

I normally think, 'Each to their own', I do it and enjoy it, others don't and wouldn't but today another mother has had a right go at me and the staff for not doing something quickly enough and that really p$ssed me off. If she was that bothered, she could have helped.

i think surveys are a rubbish way of getting feedback and a very lazy form of getting feedback and a very unimaginative way and one open to critisism depending on the wording of questions etc.

i tell you how i get involved in school life - i give my THREE children a pound every mufty day - which is a mufty day too many every time. i sponsor all three when the class are raising money, i give money for the tsunami appeal when they were raising funds for that, i gave money and shoebox stuff when they do the shoebox thing.
then THEN my friends, when they want to go on anything extra - you have to go to the office like a poor poor beggar and state the reasons why you would like the money raised to help your children. some mothers have to go and beg at the school office and leave their pride and dignity at the door so their kids can go on some useless extra school trip.

then there is the donation to a trip which is part of the curriculum - WTF i mean WTF? the difference betweent his and a book - both necessary for education is? i will answer my own question - becuase they make you pay for one under the false title of donation

think of supermarkets.they put their sweeties near the till don't they....why? becuase there is nothing that pisses you off more than a kid pestering. and although some of the time we can tell the kids to sod off, how hard is it to say to your child " no you are not going to the isle of wight even though EVERY single child is going in you class, this is becuase it is not required of your education - therefore for the next week you must sit in a class of children a year younger than you as there are not the facilities in terms of staff ( whoare all int he isle of wight) to look after you if you dont go
humiliation for your child in other words

i pay, every week times three. with twins obvoiusly in the same year - i pay double everything in one go - there is no spacing, i can't refuse becuase my kids will be upset humiliated, shown up infront of their friends, left behing in another class.

i pay thats how i get involved.

i leave the house at the same time as the kids in the morning having said goodmorning - get your books, tie, jumper, pekit, breakfast, pen pencil, homework, homework diary and get back in the evening to cooking tea doing homework and talking about their day then I sit down around 8pm. I am tired, its not that i dont want to, itsnot that i cant be bothered, it is a little of - we shouldn't have to, but like somone else said lower down surely i should be spending time with my kids instead of going to meetings. if some mums want to do this and can manage allt he juggling around - then good for them. but just becuase they can doesn't mean i can too and there shouldnot be an expectation of parents to get involved.

I thought feelingold's post was really good. Preschool Committees/PTAs just want some help, if each (otherwise uninvolved) parent gave up 4 hours/year to the school/preschool that would be wonderful.

Economics of cake baking -- well!! Depends how you bake. DH is my cake-baker & he can knock out a basic one in no time flat for very little cost. Preschool sells them at the Thursday market and simple and cheap is what's in demand, actually, OAPs are virtually the only buyers.

I wanted to get involved in the preschool/Friends/etc. because I want to have some influence on the quality of my children's preschool/school experience. I barely know the other mums & the idea that I only got involved to be part of some clique, is SO ABSURD. I can't comment about other parents' motives, but I'd say all the ones I've met on the committees are involved because we're needed & we want to help out.

I agree that fund-raising activities shouldn't be required... but that's a poor excuse for not bothering. Of course not "everybody" should get involved, but it saddens me that people are so reluctant to help out. Also, (for instance) take the school fun Day I mentioned. That will be a really nice fun day out for the kids (as well as a fund-raiser). That kind of event still takes a lot of organisation -- people have to be willing to give up their time to make it happen. A few people end up doing an unfair amount of hard work to make possible a nice event for everybody.

Nobody has said this, but I thought British working hours were supposed to be obscenely long? I don't know how much of an issue this is for some parents.

I was a school governor before I had children and will join the parents association when I am allowed to (nursery parents not eligible) becasue there are a few issues I want to address.

However I would resent all the requests for money that shcools seem to send out. I am also branch secretary of a charity and everyone knows there are certain things I don't do, cakes being one of them and anything involving costumes/sewing.

I am actually one of the parents who wouldn't send in the survey, I'd fill it in, but then it would sit arounf at homne for weeks, eventually getting lost. Nursery gace me a form to fill in 2 months ago about my daughter's asthma and I havn't even managed ti get that back to them yet.

For some parents it is genuinely not their thing and they havn't got time, I know that my charity work cuts into the time I spend with ds and my children and I really ought to stop doing some of it. And I do it for selfish reasons too, the social side and the achievement of organising an event.

I was a school governor before I had children and will join the parents association when I am allowed to (nursery parents not eligible) becasue there are a few issues I want to address.

However I would resent all the requests for money that shcools seem to send out. I am also branch secretary of a charity and everyone knows there are certain things I don't do, cakes being one of them and anything involving costumes/sewing.

I am actually one of the parents who wouldn't send in the survey, I'd fill it in, but then it would sit arounf at homne for weeks, eventually getting lost. Nursery gace me a form to fill in 2 months ago about my daughter's asthma and I havn't even managed ti get that back to them yet.

For some parents it is genuinely not their thing and they havn't got time, I know that my charity work cuts into the time I spend with ds and my children and I really ought to stop doing some of it. And I do it for selfish reasons too, the social side and the achievement of organising an event.

I was a school governor before I had children and will join the parents association when I am allowed to (nursery parents not eligible) becasue there are a few issues I want to address.

However I would resent all the requests for money that shcools seem to send out. I am also branch secretary of a charity and everyone knows there are certain things I don't do, cakes being one of them and anything involving costumes/sewing.

I am actually one of the parents who wouldn't send in the survey, I'd fill it in, but then it would sit arounf at homne for weeks, eventually getting lost. Nursery gace me a form to fill in 2 months ago about my daughter's asthma and I havn't even managed ti get that back to them yet.

For some parents it is genuinely not their thing and they havn't got time, I know that my charity work cuts into the time I spend with ds and my children and I really ought to stop doing some of it. And I do it for selfish reasons too, the social side and the achievement of organising an event.