Why don't most parents get involved in their children's schools?

[zebraX]

Recent travel survey for my son's school -- 30% reply rate by parents.

"Help us identify your child's talents?" survey at same school, 25% response rate (so far).

Latest preschool committee meeting -- 4 commmittee members, plus committee officers turned up (80 children attend the preschool). Which is pretty good compared to

8 people at Friends of the School meeting last night (~300 children at the school), planning FunFair events. They have at least 20 events on, all of them designed to require low staffing levels, due to lack of parental support.

WHY DON'T MORE PARENTS GET INVOLVED, at least reply to surveys designed to help their school and their child's education, help out with fund-raising events???? I just don't understand. I know some people have legit excuses, but do 75-99% of the parents have good reasons for not helping out???

I don't buy the arguement that the fact that the Gvmt should be investing more money in schools is a reason not to get involved in the school. If you don't want to do fundraising then you can help out in lots of other ways - our school has people who help maintain the garden, paint walls and fences, we are looking for people to help support the website etc etc. I decided to be a parent governor at my ds's school because I wanted to contribute and couldn't bear the thought of getting involved in the pta (I have worked for a few charities and as a result have an aversion to fundraising activities). I have really enjoyed it, I've met lots of parents through it, not just those whose children are in ds's class and I do feel part of the school and the community. For me it's natural to want to working together with the school for the benefit of the children at the school - of course selfishly that includes my children.

Whyever not puddle? Surely schools should have enough money for books? Got to go, baby waking but will come back later!

Over the last few years our PTA has paid for:-
45% of new school library
new TV to enable junior kids to watch curriculum related vids
new play area for reception kids
recovering nech seating in reception (ripped)
new blinds for classrooms so kids could stop roasting when the sun shone
dictionaries for school leavers (every year)
each teacher gets an amount each term to buy sundry items for classrooms
it goes on & on
This is a fairly 'comfortable' area, but due to government calcs the school gets the minimum for each child, there isn't any slack in the budget for the 'nice to haves' and they have had to fund part of a teachers salary by taking money out of the buildings budget (because 102 kids in 2 years doesn't qualify school for 4 full time teachers!). Our PTA no longer funds the extras, they fund the essentials

Berries, maybe if the PTA wasn't there as your school's safety net - the Government would have to cough up more money?

My dd2's school is very small, 29 pupils, so most people get involved doing something. The constant fundraising was getting difficult (hard to do in a small village) so we have now instigated a voluntary contribution of 10gbp a term to pay for extras. There is also an annual dance (which dh and I avoid like the plague!!) and another event. Last year they held a 'Top To Toe' evening, with hair stylists, beauticians, therapists and so on. It was very popular indeed.

I haven't got involved with dd1's senior school. Because we live outside the main town I feel detached from what goes on, plus I don't know many other parents. I've also got Helping-Out-At-School-Fatigue-Syndrome because I've turned my hand to a lot of things over the 25yrs I've had children in the education system!!

One thing I think schools couild make better use of and that's the internet. If surveys etc could be completed online that might elicit more response, though I do fill in the paper versions myself, I hasten to add!

What I mean WW is that this thread has turned into a discussion about fundraising. I agree that schools should have more money. I agree it's appalling that PTAs are raising money to pay for essentials. But the title of the thread is 'why don't more parents get involved in their children's school'. I am just pointing out there are lots of ways to get involved that don't compormise any principles you may have about acting as a safety net for inadequate government funding. being a governor, reading with kids, helping out on trips, actively responding when you are asked for feedback to name but 3. I am with Zebra, I just don't get people who don't want to be involved in their child's school - I don't have a lot of time either but I do make time for this.

But Issymum aren't those kids of activities fun for the children? My ds has done plenty of 'pointless' sponsored activities that he really enjoyed - he had fun, worked with his friends, learnt he could do something he thought was going to be really hard and raised money (for the school and for charities the school supports) in the process). I'd say that was a positive thing.

Agree puddle - I think there should be more fundraising by the kids, be it for the school or for charity, rather than everything being done by the parents.

I would much prefer to make a donation than have endless PTA "events" to raise money. I do bake cakes, buy raffle tickets, pay for the extra craft sessions, etc but nothing would persuade me to actually join the PTA. I do not recall seeing a list of where any of the money raised was spent either although when we are asked to contribute to the cost of outings there is occasionally a mention of "a kind donation from the PTA". What I loathe is going to the effort of baking/making then turning up and seeing it priced as £1 or something - I inevitably buy it back! I appreciate that not everyone can afford to make donations but they are also the people who do not buy at the fetes too.

I have just applied to be a governor so it isn't that I don't want to be involved (noticed that a couple of PTA members have also applied so wonder where the votes will go..). I also return all forms promptly, help with transport,etc. It is just the PTA that I find difficult.

In my daughter's previous school I offered to buy a set of ORT reading books as a friend at the time had a huge discount on them. The school (state primary) refused and yet I still had a letter asking for donations of jumble!

Where I work around 30% of parents attend parent teacher meetings to discuss their child's progress.

We have started a review day hen parents get a 15 minute interview with parents and children. It runs from 8 till 6. For that I had 95% attendence.

Some parents are great, involved with their children's education but large numbers seem to have little or no interest. Schools do have to try to make the school more accessable, the review day was a great sucess. But the child who's parent I didn't see was the one who I needed to see most of all.

3 or 4 - agree. But 7+ year olds?

I'm talking about slightly older children Issymum - my ds is in reception and all the children I know in his class talked to me about the event they were doing, that they were raising money for the school and for the children who had lost their homes in 'the big wave at Christmas' (the tsunami obv). They all got it.

Sorry HMB, can you explain further? What's the difference between the 30% and 95% figure? Is it just because the review day gave a greater range of times parents could choose from? Or that it was presented as being different to a standard parent's evening?

I'm one of the 'pay -up' but 'don't get involved' brigade. At dd's junior school I didn't really get on with the posh surrey mummies yacking on about their daughter's ponies. Her senior school is much nicer and I've volunteered my help for some fundraising events - so far I've only come across one obnoxious mum! Think online surveys would be good - esp as dd is hopeless at remembering to bring home school notices.

Oh www and MI, you know I agree with you. Yes, I think schools should be funded by the govt but (as you admit) they are not or at least not well enough. Our current friends project is to roof over the reception outdoor play area and with two children still due to go through reception there I am selfish (or unprincipled) enough to feel we need to try to encourage people to give us some money.
Sorry, not trying to say you don?t want to give money too, not trying to be aggressive. Some stories on here are eg PTA?s that don?t welcome newcomers, but certainly ours does a lot of good work and the school would really miss the money if it didn?t come in.
(By the way I work full time and yes, thanks, I also cook healthy meals for my children and help with their homework. My DH does this as well you know, it's him I leave the kids with when I am at a meeting. It's work that really eats into my time with the children, not a meetign once every two months).

They aren't fun for all children, definitely not. Speaking as a pudgy, reclusively bookish child, I wriggled out of all sponsored activities (we did have them back then) with horror.

I want to know how my children are doing, and know about their school. But I really don't want to be forced into some sort of communal sense of purpose and jollity - precisely the kind of thing I hated at school.

Sorry, really stroppy soundign post there. Do not mean to be stroppy on Mumsnet, am stroppy about something at work.

I want to be able to spend my time with my children, not just about my children, as well.

Agree puddle. Ds is not yet six but very clear on why Mencap was chosen as the beneficiary of the school's spellathon that year, and very keen to do his best to support them by getting sponsors. The school also supports an orphanage in Sri Lanka and the Malcolm Sargeant Cancer Fund for Children.
You'll see Issymum......huge change during Reception Year.

A bit of both I think.

It was new and novel and that helps.

More notice was given, essential when both parents go out to work.

A greater range of times.

More time was given.

It was set up with the child and parent in attendence. No 'normal' school ran that day, the kids only had to attend for the 15 minute interview, if their parents didn't come they had to attend all day (a nice incentive!)

Parnets only saw the form tutor who had the child school file to hand. We had SATs results, eapected grades at GCSE and information on how well the children were meeting the targets.

The 15 minutes was spent outlining any short falls (if any) and disacussiong what the school and the child/parent could do to make sure that the child met their potential. We also had information on dicipline problems , issues with specifiv teachers etc. SEN reviews were done at the same time so it was very inclusive.

It worked wonderfully. We are aiming to to this every year through a childs school life. That way the form tutor will build a good relationship with the parents.

ks you crack me up!
What if in the course of some innocent discussion your DS reveals that you do not, in fact, work f/t? Theyn wil think you are really really barmy!

My answer is, I know, going to cause a loud harrumph from on MN-ing school governor!

I doubt I will be involved in many meetings or practical activity, because I work full time.

Every extra activity I do takes more time from activites with DS, dealing with domestic things which we're not at home to deal with in the week, food preparation from scratch when arriving home putting in laundry, etc etc. all has to be fitted into eves and w/e.

I will do all I can, and probably enjoy it, but....

A lot of you make very good points on here. Of course nobody is saying that a family where dad is a governor and mum listens to readers every week should be doing anything else. In fact nobody should be doing any of this, I just would hope that they would want to!
I think I must be becomign one of those stroppy super-confident mums like the one on Desp Housewives, How depressing