have you ever said" oh he is very advanced for his/her age"?

[FluffyMummy123]

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I'd never say this did think it sometimes with DD though.
When I was in the staff room at nursery some parent volunteers where there, they were chavish to be blunt and were all eagerly telling me how naughty and uncontrollable their pfb's were and how they only volunteered to stop being ashamed by xxx's behaviour .
I was talking to the teacher later and she said the chavs always boast about this even if their child is an angel and the posher mums always say their child is a sensitive, talent to be nurtured.

For various reasons my dds have attended four different primary schools (not ideal, I know!), so we have done the looking round thing quite a bit. I have always shied away from the "oh yes dd1 is very advanced" statement but - um, well she is! So I didn't say anything, would leave them to settle into their new school and find their feet, then would get a call from the new teacher to say "er, we've just had her reports and schoolwork from her previous school, we didn't realise she was so far ahead!" LOL. But I prefer teachers to make up their own minds about my kids. I'm sure if I had said she was advanced then they would have taken it with a huge pinch of salt and it wouldn't have made any difference to what work she was given to start with.

That's so, so true miaou.

I think what people forget is that just because a child is seemly "advanced for their age" a 4 or 5 year olds, that is doesn't mean this will still be the same when the child is older. Sometimes it just peters off and the other children catch up.

No!

It is true, then people will see it for themselves
If it is not true you risk making an absolute prat of yourself
and
Who cares, (except the parents) anyway?

DS was a very early talker, very clear speech and a huge vocab at an improbably early age. People used to exclaim and say 'he's very bright' etc..luckily I knew that it was no guarantee of anything beyond 'he has a head start in talking for England - for now'. And indeed, some of his friends who seemed barely articulate at 3 learned to read much faster than he did.

I certainly didn't say anything of the sort during school open days! Even though I do think ds is quite clever would never mention it. If someone else comments, I find something nice to say about their child. There's plenty of stuff that ds is not particularly good at - he came last in one of the races on sports day.

Oh, I don't mean to be smug about thinking ds is clever. Came out wrong. Only he's in the top set for stuff and so on. But as I say, plenty of things he's not good at.

No.

Have never said it (have no need to as DS1 is behind academically and DS2 has severe autism and is developmentally 3 years behind where he should be) but even if it was the case I would never say it. As a teacher i know how bloody irritating and 'precious' this is to hear a parent say it. CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE!! In the words of Alan Partridge (regarding Susan singing) "Don't - it sounds bad!"

I've never said it. Not once. Although of course they are beuatiful and clever and kind and nice etc...

Someone once said to me "There's no point in bragging about your children - they are only 20 seconds away from doing something unbelievably stupid". So true ...

there is a parent of a child in my ds' class who said to me once:

"he's very behind. My daughter was never like this, she was clever." [hmm

I think I did say it to one of the teachers at ds1's school But he was very bright and advanced at that age. Unfortunately he has turned out to have ADD so struggles in school anyway!

Its funny, but I actually feel the pressure to go the other way. My DD1 is fairly bright - that's not just me being smug, But she hit all of her milestones earlyish (one exception - walking, she was 13 months when she was fully walking), She taught herself to tell the time at 2 3/4 (only to the nearest hour). She can now do it to the nearest 15 minutes, but I haven't bothered to teach her the rest... She learnt all the letters of the alphabet (she pushed for it) when she was 2 1/2, started reading simple CVC words at 3 and now at 4 3/4 (just started school three weeks ago), she has just started reading Enid Blyton books (She reads most of the page, I read the difficult words - she found reading schemes boring). ... So I hope I can justifiably say that she is on the brighter end of the spectrum!

Yet, I feel an intense pressure to point out the things that she is rubbish at in every day life. When we go to ballet, gym or swimming, I just feel I have to point out to the other mums that she is no good at these things, and keep my mouth shut about the good things she does. For example, when she learnt to tell the time, I never said a word to anyone outside the family - felt I couldn't in RL in case other people would think I was boasting.

Whereas DD2 is darned lazy (and perhaps a bit thick!) and is behind her milestones, certainly in her speaking (Actually quite a long way behind her friends). Yet, I feel that I can be open and honest and sing her praises with others, in a way I could never do in RL with DD1.

I'm sure having lots of middle class mums eager to have little Tarquin start violin at 4 must be a bit nauseating, but on the other hand, I hate this idea that we have to play down our children's abilities so as not to offend people (I sympathise with Elkat). It goes along with the whole English self-deprecation false modesty thing. And 'tall poppy' syndrome: you mustn't dare to stand out in case you get scythed down.

To those who say, 'who cares' - actually, I do care that my child is interested by what he learns at school and not bored because he could do it years ago.

People are always saying that they average out after a few years or that their peers catch up. But maybe that's because our school system ISN'T actually keeping them stimulated and challenged, so they just coast.

Yes, we did have a severe case of PFB syndrome with DS, but at the same time, he is exceptional in some ways.

So there!

not only are both my children advanced for their ages they are also stunning. quite quite stunning.

Ach, well we said it about DD - but it was true. So now we are warning the teachers that DS "Isn't quite there yet"!
LOL

Of course all our children are stunning, TMMJ. Those other children over there are all right, I suppose, but ours are breathtakingly beautiful.

I have never ever said it, not to anyone. I have two old uni friends who go on and on about how bright and gifted their children are. I blow my nose loudly to hide the snorts.

I'm sure we all think it, at least from time to time, but I'd never say it to someone else (other than dh).

In my (albeit limited) experience the children with mothers who claim they are very advanced don't seem anything out of the ordinary at all (and actually I've secretly thought they seemed a bit behind the curve in some ways). And the mothers are very irritating too.

I never have said that bollocks about them being advanced for their age. I don't even think it. How would your common or garden parent know anyway?

My DCs are the funniest children ever though.

While I've never said while looking around a school that my child is bright or advanced, I did ask, while looking around schools recently, how each school would deal with a child who was either above OR below the class norm in subjects/generally.

As it happens, my ds, who started in reception just a few weeks ago, has already been put on ORT stage 8 for reading and moved up to be with the Year 1s for numeracy. So I am very glad I asked those questions and liked the responses I was given - ie that the school treats the individual.

No, but I did the opposite once. DS2 was crawling about and the mother of a 9 month old said 'Oh my god, he's so big. Is he big? Is mine small? Oh my god, is my child just really, really small? Oh my god. What's the matter with my child. Oh my god your child can speak, oh my god, what's the matter with my baby?'

[she WAS a nutter]

and I said

'No you daft cow. He's eighteen months old not nine months he just doesn't walk'

I definitely said, or implied, this with DD1. In my defence, she was verbally precocious and a very early reader.
I did not say it with DD2 as I it was clear that she was a perfectly normal infant. Other mothers used to patronise me dreadfully though as she wouldn't speak outside the house so they thought she couldn't speak at all. I would do this very unconvincing 'she never stops talking at home' line, and you could see them thinking 'liar' and feeling smug about their own very advanced progeny.
I tend to refer to DD3 as a career criminal in the making, and people think I am joking. I am not.

i say the opposite

nope never. i often say he is a bit slow for his age though.