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Original poster

have you ever said" oh he is very advanced for his/her age"?

104 replies

FluffyMummy123 · 27/09/2008 11:10

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Original poster
FluffyMummy123 · 27/09/2008 11:13

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tiredemma · 27/09/2008 11:13

DP used to say it. A lot.

I would cringe

Umlellala · 27/09/2008 11:13

Ha, yes! Every day practically to family/dh , yet bizarrely I wouldn't say it in a school/playgroup situation (just smile smugly while she shows off superior intellect/social skills )

Original poster
FluffyMummy123 · 27/09/2008 11:15

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expatinscotland · 27/09/2008 11:19

NO. because it's usually untrue, but at any rate it's boastful and in the poorest of taste/manners.

if a person is truly advanced/beautiful/gifted it never needs to be said, it just comes out and needs no words to demonstrate it.

lulumama · 27/09/2008 11:20

never to anyone other than family. DS was advanced in some ways, then everyone caught up, DD was average and slower than average for everything,including weigh gain so, meh....

certainly never to anyone like teachers etc...

unless your children are composing symphonies at 4 or trilingual at 2 , you ahve to tell yourself 99.99% of the time their peers will catch up. but they all hvae their own individual special talents and qualities

Original poster
FluffyMummy123 · 27/09/2008 11:27

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SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 27/09/2008 11:30

people used to say it to me a lot about dd1 but she was the first baby in our family for ages and i was clueless. i would get quite confused at times when people asked about her developement.

"is she talking yet"
"yes"
"oh what words does she say?"
"well she just talks"
"i know you said. what words is she saying?"
"err well she just talks. she says all of the words" oh how glad i am now that i never actually said that outloud

she is still advanced socially but her peers are starting catching upto her re reading counting etc.

dd2 is a bit slow bless. but she is only 16 months so am not worrying.

expatinscotland · 27/09/2008 11:30

well, look at the threads on here. lots of folks are convinced their 3-year-old is a genius.

it's most tiresome and uninteresting.

artichokes · 27/09/2008 11:33

I say it inside my head all the time. I just have the sense not to verbalise it .

Original poster
FluffyMummy123 · 27/09/2008 11:33

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misdee · 27/09/2008 11:35

god no. i didnt even know dd2 was bright for her age until she had started school.

AccidentalMum · 27/09/2008 11:43

I keep worrying the opposite

Heated · 27/09/2008 11:51

The most effusive I get is "he/she's coming along alright."

The grandparents loud-hailer their achievements enough.

SqueakyPop · 27/09/2008 11:57

Often when they are advanced academically, they are a bit behind in the other areas, ie emotionally or physically.

They may move forward quickly, but won't keep going at that pace. Others catch up.

cory · 27/09/2008 12:02

Would have been a bit hard while ds was hiding under the table and refusing to speak to the teacher... And I had to explain to same teacher that he thinks trolls will come and eat him up if he speaks English Not perhaps the greatest sign of brightness I ever heard of . Oh well, he's coped.

Original poster
FluffyMummy123 · 27/09/2008 13:13

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ExtraFancy · 27/09/2008 13:16

Nope, far too cringeworthy!

I've got a friend who does this all the time though. She told us last week that "DD doesn't like smooth purees any more, she thinks they're babyish" her daughter is 11 months old!

She's also said that "DD is desperate to get out of the baby room at nursery, she can't wait to join the older babies." This was said of a baby who couldn't even crawl yet...

Original poster
FluffyMummy123 · 27/09/2008 13:17

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schneebly · 27/09/2008 13:19

Nooooo but mine just aren't

I said to DS1's teacher on his first day of Reception "Oh I hope he will be okay - he is only just 4 and can't write his name or anything..and he has a funny accent!" we had just moved from Scotland.

Umlellala · 27/09/2008 13:29

Hmm, dd is only 2.5 and so has only been to playgroup visits so far where her loveliness and genius has been fairly obvious (can you tell she is PFB?).

Perhaps if she is not there for others to SEE, I will say 'oh and she Is very advanced for her age too'... And then remember this thread and be v . Oh dear.

traceybath · 27/09/2008 13:38

no - in fact i am very british and downplay my children to everyone apart from grandparents.

we had parents evening to discuss new phonics scheme in reception last week and the teachers said they'd push the brighter children and you could see every parent smiling smugly thinking - oh yes, thats my child!

Wallace · 27/09/2008 13:47

Nah never said it, but people are always saying it to me about my kids

expatinscotland · 27/09/2008 13:48

well, Julie's wrong, because there will never be a day I'd say that.

skidoodle · 27/09/2008 13:50

I say this all the time about DD (6 months) and I've been doing it pretty much since she was born.

When she first started oooohing and aaaaahing at us when she was around 5 weeks old I told people she had started talking.

People who go on about how advanced their children are ridiculous so it makes me laugh to make really preposterous claims for my baby.

It's getting less amusing now that she actually does things (well OK, one thing. She can roll now, I believe quite a long time after the books indicated she might start), but I found it really amusing to go on about how advanced she was when she was a newborn unable to hold up her own head.

DH likes to do the opposite. He'll say things to her like "my goodness are you STILL pooing your pants?" or "OMG you're such a BABY!"